Pausing the TV to point out the sexual harassment to the kids

[SnowyBears]

My husband and I have both had mandatory Equalities training in our workplaces, which includes emphasising employees' responsibility to call out any bad behaviour they witness, even if not directed at them personally. As a result, I haven't witnessed anything at work that could be described as harassment for many years and would be pretty shocked if I did. But often when watching TV with my family I see casual sexual harassment behaviours (by both males and females) in workplace situations that would be unacceptable in a modern office, so I usually pause the TV and point that out to my teenagers. It seems to me that it's just one simple way we can help to educate the next generation. The shows are often a few years old - e.g. Suits on Netflix - but the current generation of teens are streaming them in bulk. I do wonder if TV companies are now updating their scripts to reflect the zeitgeist, but I suspect they may not have caught on yet. Thoughts?

YANBU. I do age appropriate stuff with my son and he is only 7.

YANBU, and there is so much of it! Without pointing it out it's easy for it to be absorbed and considered normal. Good parenting!

My kids are still young, but if there is something on TV that I wouldn't want them to emulate I will point it out. Going to keep doing that as they get older, I'm sure it will eventually mean they end up thinking "oh mum is off on one again" but maybe they'll remember it.

I personally wouldn't pause the episode, but wait til after or an ad break. Otherwise you'd risk pissing them off and spoiling the experience.

Otherwise YANBU.

It's one of my bug bears that Buzzfeed et al seem to demand perfect behaviour in dramas or else characters are labelled problematic. But problems and problem people exist, and it's a good teaching moment to see how characters deal with it. So long as you don't interrupt!

(lots of examples - Fresh Prince had some great episodes on American policing of black people, Friends had Ross's paranoia about Rachel, and Cold Feet was brilliant at challenging issues - e.g. Rachel cheating on Adam and the pregnancy)

Fresh Prince is actually a good example, a great show, funny, Great episodes about systemic racism, but also (hate this word) problematic, Uncle Phil a successful hardworking lawyer is often reduced to a fat joke, a sign of the times i imagine.

Yes! My kids are obsessed with Fresh Prince just now (8 and 10) but there is a LOT of objectification of women from, well, all the men really.

I may not pause it, but I certainly would say 'well, that's gross, nobody in real life should ever behave that way' etc, then we'd have a little chat about it. Same with Friends, etc.

Sorry but it would drive me absolutely mental if you kept pausing the tv and pointing things out. Comes across as somewhat preachy. I’ve had lots of conversations with DC about things we’ve watched but after the show or during general conversation.

Agree with Meruem. That would be highly irritating. Do it after or on a break.

My kids are older (14 and 16) so are used to me pausing it and tolerate it with mild amusement, but do take the messages in. Obviously I don't do it more than once per episode. . At school they've had Equalities education as part of their SRE lessons, so they know the background. Their school has been earlier than many in adopting the new mandatory SRE curriculum, which includes teaching about sexual harassment.

I think this is a great thing to do. It’s easy, quick, relatable and gives real examples of sexism in a safe environment. Ideal.

That would do my head in, that's as annoying as those who haven't been watching properly then start asking questions whilst you're still trying to watch the story. Reflection and teaching is for after the video has finished. Do it in the ad break.

I do this with my 4 and 2 year old sometimes, things like Peppa pig when the male characters are moaning about pink. Teaching kids how to consciously navigate media is no bad thing.

You're unreasonable to pause the TV at crucial moments (that would be quite annoying) - but you are not unreasonable to ensure that these topics are discussed at the time and to point things out. It''s an important part of parenting IMO. I always like to point out examples of positive relationships and suchlike too

Yanbu, I ask them, not always with pausing, just to check they get it.

I think that would drive me insane and I would zone out what you were saying. I'm also not sure what it achieves

I do it. My boys and 7 and 9 and I've been doing it for a long time. Discussing all this stuff is important. We usually have a chat beforehand, if I've seen the show before (like the original Star Trek series. So much bad stuff). It just makes sense to point out any outdated behaviour in old shows, and also the continued behaviour in new ones.

Ha I do this (my boys are 6 and 10). Particularly the continued harassment of girls when they’ve said they aren’t interested (teen Titans weirdly).

If it’s part and parcel of your household it’s less grating than if it’s suddenly a new thing

I hate preachy people, so that would be the best way to ensure I ignore or start doing exactly what you are rambling on about (even if I am not sure how that would work practically).

I'd wait until the end of the program at least. It would be easier to have an actual discussion, not kids smiling politely waiting for the progam to resume.

I don't pause it but I do explain at the end. I also let them see the news. I had to explain to them today what flashing was. At 10, they are old enough to be targeted and I need to equip them with how to deal with that.

One of their solutions was to 'kick him in the peanuts', which wasn't exactly what I was looking for but helped lightened the mood.

I've just started watching Gilmore Girls with my DD and I pause it to have discussions about relationships etc. Especially the whole possessive attitude of Dean to Rory which the show passes off as sweet when it's creep.

I think you're right OP it's our job as their parents to make sure they are aware of these things and know how to call them out etc.

@jellybe

Dont forget the drink driving after Friday night dinners (martinis, wine then into the car).

@jellybe the drink driving thing in America is insane. I went for dinner with a friend when I was working in the US, and she drove us home after four whiskies, in her jeep which was completely open, with no doors! On the motorway.

I still marvel that most Americans manage to stay alive tbh.

What’s the point of this thread? Apart from virtue signalling.

Yes you’re brilliant, well done Op. 🙄

@Mylovelyhorsee

What’s the point of this thread? Apart from virtue signalling.

Yes you’re brilliant, well done Op. 🙄

I'd love the hear the opinion of the teenagers about that

@Mylovelyhorsee

What’s the point of this thread? Apart from virtue signalling.

Yes you’re brilliant, well done Op. 🙄

What's the point of this post?

Apart from bitching at strangers.