For feeling very vulnerable thinking about discharging myself

[Mintsmints]

I have been brought in to the hospital tonight with what’s looks like a mini stroke. It’s so horrible being in A and E on your own but I managed. I am now on the stroke ward assessment bay and it’s just 2 beds and they have just brought a man into the other bed. Now this man is prob perfectly nice but I have been sexual assaulted in the past and I am just shaking with fear.

I have told the nurse and she just said that it’s an assessment bay so legal. She seems to not be concerns about my past making me very scared. The nurses station is right down the other side of the ward and I can’t move very well.

I know I am prob being unreasonable and they could not do anything but I feel so scared I am shaking. I can hobble to just seriously thinking about calling my husband hobbling off the ward and going home

Not managed to get any rest. I had just dropped off at 4am and then a nurse woke me to see what I wanted for meals today. Then I managed to drop off just before six and then all the lights went on

They don’t seem to give much into letting patients rest at all. The lights only went off at one and then back on at six

They woke you at 4 to ask you about food! I will never understand UK hospital , to recover you need sleep, rest and healthy food of which you get none.
All rooms should be private and lights off from 10pm till 7am. Any obs should be done as quietly as possible.

Try not to worry about work now

I have wondered about the lights on at 6am thing. I needed surgery on a broken bone and they woke me at 6am to tell me I was nil by mouth. Surgery was carried out after noon. I was smashed on morphine why not let me sleep?

My husband says I am handing my notice in and we will manage

Don't do this. You'll be entitled to sick pay etc. You've had a stroke FFS. You can always resign later on.

Agreed. Do not let your employer off the hook. Their reaction to your news was disgraceful and disgusting.

@SakuraEdenSwan1 I’ve been on mixed wards several times over the last 5 years

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation op. This appears to be in breach of the NHS constitution:

In March 2012 the NHS Constitution introduced a pledge that if admitted to hospital, patients will not have to share sleeping accommodation with members of the opposite sex, except where appropriate.

(where appropriate is in certain clinical specialised care situations but it sounds like if you and the other patient in the room are able to move around ie. not incapacitated, mix sex accommodation is certainly NOT appropriate).

Hospitals are supposed to take single sex accommodation very seriously, partly for reasons that you mention - making you share with a man could mean that you are excluded from hospital care in the same way that a woman with religious beliefs that prevents her from sharing would also be excluded.

It sounds like the nurses are being rather unsympathetic which is not ok - can you get your husband to make more of a fuss on your behalf - part of the difficulty is that it is hard to advocate for your own needs when you are feeling terrible.

Unfortunately, due to false advice on the law from the EHRC encouraged by Stonewall, many hospital policies do not seem to take single sex accommodation and the needs of women seriously. There are various court cases pending to try and address this.

I wish you a speedy recovery op. When you feel well enough it would be good if you could make a formal complaint to the hospital and contact your MP.

This is not acceptable from the hospital at all and they should be listening to you!

improvement.nhs.uk/documents/6005/Delivering_same_sex_accommodation_sep2019.pdf

btw part of the single sex accommodation provision should ensure that you don't have to share toilet/shower facilities with the opposite sex either.

The hospital is legally obliged to record your situation as a breach of the Same Sex Accommodation constitution. You may get the chance to point that out (or get someone to call the hospital on your behalf) and push for you to get moved on grounds of your trauma.

With a suspected stroke I imagine that it is important to avoid stress.

I know it really sucks and it's not fair on the part of the hospital but would talking to the man help to relieve some of your anxiety ? He sounds like he's quite an aware person and it might help you to feel a little bit better about it and take your mind off your loneliness and discomfort? He's probably lying there feeling uncomfortable too.

@Mintsmints

They don’t seem to give much into letting patients rest at all. The lights only went off at one and then back on at six

I've had several hospital admissions in the past 6 months and this really irritated me, I could never rest. Lights would be on until early hours, staff talking really loudly, waking everyone up at 6:30am by turning the lights on and going up to all patients asking if they were showering.

Hope you are feeling okay today OP

How are you today? X

Hi I am still here and so is the man we got talking a bit and he was telling me about his wife and child and his job working with special needs which my back ground also is. he seems really nice and feel a lot better. Just not looking forward to works response as I know I will be in for it when I get back

I had a stroke back in October. Once I was out of hospital the GP signed me off work for 6 weeks from the day of the stroke.

Your employer is being an arse. Ignore them - you have 2 jobs: to rest and do your physio.

And your emotions will be all over the place -so don't feel bad about feeling how you feel.

I'm so pleased to hear you and your 'neighbour' got chatting and your mind is a little more at ease, mintsmints. I just told my (ex-Sgt Major) husband what your employer said to your husband and he volunteered to be with you when you next speak to them. He can be very loud and very forceful lol!

Please try not to worry about work and focus on your own recovery instead. You have everyone here rooting for you.

[quote ChancesWhatChances]@SakuraEdenSwan1 I’ve been on mixed wards several times over the last 5 years [/quote]
I spent 48 hours on a mixed assessment ward in 2009.

It was really busy, people coming and going all the time, and noisy.