Am I adult who’s scared of the dark.

[Gee29]

Aibu to think this is not uncommon? Always had the p taken out of me by family growing up and dp mentions it quite often (he likes pitch dark when sleeping). I can sometimes tolerate the dark if I’m with another person ie dp but not if I’m on my own like tonight dp is working until late. I live rurally and it’s really dark outside so I’ve got my back and front outside lights on (dp will turn off when he gets home). Lamps, full lights in hallway etc.

I’ve been made to feel childish over the years. My family were the worst.thankfully moved out a few years ago now.

Also could something have triggered it?

I have a very vivid memory of staying at my grandparents house because dm had fallen out with her then dh (not my dad) when I was maybe 4. Their house is very old and creaky which is scary in itself. I remember waking up during the night to pitch dark and dm wasn’t there (we were sharing a bedroom). There was a lot of arguing and shouting outside the bedroom. I was calling for help and no one came. They just kept telling me to go back sleep. I was too scared to get up and turn the light on and go and see what was happening. The arguing was normal to me as it happened a lot but the pitch darkness was awful. I remember being so scared and just wanting someone to come and comfort me. The house has always scared me as it is.

My mother always tried to get me over my fear. She would allow me to go sleep with a lamp on but would turn it off once I went sleep. I would wake up during the night with it pitch dark. I hated it! Even in my teens and beyond 😭

With my own dc. DS doesn’t like the dark much but Dd loves it like her dad!

I’m an adult **

Also could something have triggered it?

Any fear comes from a trigger. It's your brain going into self preservation mode, whether it's logical or not. Sometimes the dark can be scary, if you don't feel safe, or if moving can cause danger.

I've had the opposite my whole life. I find the dark safe in terms of sleep. I need pitch darkness, I hate warmer months when it gets lighter earlier.

I hate the dark but also need pitch darkness to sleep. If I'm home alone I'll have a light on and then not be able to sleep because of it.

I don’t mind the dark in the sense you do but I am incredibly claustrophobic and pitch dark is the worst, I panic until I can orient myself with a light. Even a glow stick will do.

I have never met anyone else who has this reaction to pitch dark. Power cuts make me properly nervous.

I can’t sleep with the lights on, I don’t know any adults scared of the dark personally

It’s not an irrational fear though - it’s perfectly rational. Every horror film worth the watch has bad things happening in the dark. I don’t like large windows with no coverings, I won’t swim in black water at night ... even if it’s a swimming pool and I hate sleeping with the bedroom door open as any baddy could walk in without me hearing. When I lived on my own I used to booby trap the place at night. Where I live there’s enough ambient light from other houses so it’s never pitch black but I know the countryside is different. I think in your position I would get a big dog... and make sure it’s not too friendly.

I’m scared of the dark! I’m ok with someone else but not on my own. I also hate the pitch black and find it really unsettling as well.

I hate the dark but I also hate artificial light!
Bring on the light evenings
I sometimes fall sleep with bedside light on (dim) then turn it off when I wake up in the night later when I can go straight back to sleep rather than lie there in the dark cos I not like it

I really hate pitch darkness, it makes me very stressed when I can't see anything at all and I can't sleep. I have a small plug in nightlight that I take with me if I'm sleeping away from home. I don't mind the dark if I can see a bit, it's just the pitch black that really spooks me.

Thanks all. To add I also hate open blinds/curtains at night when it’s dark. I hate looking out to darkness as you can’t see anything.

As well being scared of the dark I also hate bright lights. I’m really light sensitive and hate huge amounts of sunlight shining into my house, bright lights etc. Can’t win with me! 🤣

@Givemeabreak88

I can’t sleep with the lights on, I don’t know any adults scared of the dark personally

It's not a common topic of conversation.

I'm not keen on pitch darkness- I find it claustrophobic and unnerving. Night time darkness is fine but not when I literally can't see. Many children don't like darkness and I'm always surprised when parents insist on blackout blinds etc

So I don't think it's odd OP and I think many people just don't talk about it.

If my DP is away I leave a lamp on.

I’m still scared of pitch dark and wouldn’t be able to sleep in it. Any chink of light (e.g. curtains a tiny bit open) and I’m fine. I think when I was little I was scared of going blind (for some reason) and it perhaps started there, plus a touch of claustrophobia.

Also scared of the dark here. Always have been. I can sleep in the dark but I can't move from room to room or walk around the house in the dark. If I need to pop downstairs at night I will have to turn the landing light on.

I don't much like it but now my partner stays over alot less I'm getting used to it more and am fine now. Nothing abnormal about it OP, I don't think so anyway. Mine started with my sibling dieing when I was 8 and I thought because she died I would die and i started having nightmares that led to me being afraid of the dark.

I think nervousness about the dark is innate, because you can’t see danger coming - it’s just most of us override that with knowing the modern world is mostly not dangerous.

Hypnotherapy maybe??!!

@redcarbluecar

I’m still scared of pitch dark and wouldn’t be able to sleep in it. Any chink of light (e.g. curtains a tiny bit open) and I’m fine. I think when I was little I was scared of going blind (for some reason) and it perhaps started there, plus a touch of claustrophobia.

@redcarbluecar Are you me? This is exactly what I was going to write even down to the fear of going blind

I'm 29 and still have to run like the wind up the stairs after I turn the downstairs lights off in case the demons get me 😱 and yes I'm the same, can sleep in the dark fine when my husband is home but if I'm home alone, I have to sleep with a lamp on.

Windows with no curtains at night are the worst. Our kitchen window looks out to our back garden and whenever I have to go for a late night wee, I scare myself thinking that someone is looking at me but I can't see them 😐

I also hate the darkness and cannot sleep with my head uncovered in the bedroom. I HAVE to have a blanket or some sort of cover over the top part of my head with just a "breathing hole". I have been like this for many, many years.

I'm not afraid of the dark but I have nightlights everywhere but in my bedroom because my flat is like the blackhole of calcutta without them. It also means I and my child can stagger to the toilet at night without vandalising ourselves..
Nightlights are the thing to use, but not in your line of sight.

Thanks all. To add I also hate open blinds/curtains at night when it’s dark. I hate looking out to darkness as you can’t see anything

I don't like it on downstairs rooms but upstairs we look out over long open countryside and nobody can see in so I don't shut the curtains, I love the early morning light.

I'm not afraid of the dark but I always sleep with the lights on. I don't see how it makes any difference either way - it's still dark when you shut your eyes and it doesn't stop me from falling asleep. Having the lights already on makes it easier if you need to get up to go to the loo in the night

When my partner is home I'm okay to sleep in the dark and have all lights in the house switched off . When he's not at home I do switch off the light in my bedroom, but I switch on the light in every other room in the house including the staircase, kitchen and bathroom. 😂 My bedroom door also stays open so that light from outside will shine in.