Sister taking the piss?

[switchandswatch]

My sister is a doctor. I work in interiors. We have a good relationship and are pretty close. She is older than me.

My sister never wants to give out medical advice to me or the rest of the family. I understand with bigger stuff her not wanting to take responsibility and encouraging people to seek their own medical advice. But even for a small thing she really won’t give any, and it’s more of the case that she doesn’t want to bring the day job home with her. I have other family members who are medics and they are more than happy to offer advice etc.

Anyway, if she wants to keep her work & home life separate and boundaried then I respect that. However, she is constantly asking me for interiors advice, for her and her friends. Like, constantly. I basically designed her extension for her that’s she’s just had done, which I don’t mind because I’m her sister, happy to help. But this week she has sent me pics of two of her friends houses asking for interiors advice for them. People I don’t know. And tonight she has sent me a barrage of messages asking me to help her pick out prints for her lounge. I am in the middle of my own massive renovation, and I really don’t have the headspace for other peoples stuff! I have told her this. Also, if she doesn’t like to bring her work life home, why can’t she afford me the same principle?
And before anyone brings up the c word, Yes, her job has been more stressful than mine this year, but it was the same dynamic pre-COVID too.

So -
YABU - keep dishing out the free interiors advice
YANBU - she’s being a cf and should respect your boundaries too

I should add, I’m aware this is a pretty small fry issue I’m just tired and pissed!

Just explain to her that from now on you're taking a leaf out if her book and there's to be nothing work related brought to you outside of your working hours and own clients . Same for her and her own patients.
No way would I be helping her friends etc out

YANBU. Quid pro quo. Tell her.

YANBU. She appears to want to have things both ways

You have a voice, so use it. You will more than happy to consult with her friends, however your going rate is X. As for her, help if you want, but not at your expense. If you're busy or don't feel like it, say so. No one can take advantage of you unless you allow it.

YANBU

You both have the right to keep your professional lives and personal lives separate.

If her friends want advice then charge them a consultation fee;tell her this eg 15/30 minutes on zoom is x amount.

People are so cheeky;my DH has a security company and security work is scare at the moment and I get messages from people like this often (copied and pasted from a message I got yesterday)

"Hey how are you doing?

My mate is looking for daytime security work he has full SIA licence if xxxxx knows of anything could you let me know"

It's just so awkward.

Yeah I probably do need to stand up to her a bit more. Probably in the back of my mind there’s a narrative where I think she sees her work as more important than mine (which, it kinda is, but we’re both professionals).
The advice for friends thing really pissed me off. She kept putting me on the spot about it even though I tried saying nicely that I couldn’t help!

@thenewduchessofhastings

Ah I wouldn't be annoyed at that. Just the way things are at the moment, people needing work have to put the feelers out

Every time she does it, direct her to your website/give her your fees/tell her you've got a full diary at the moment but they can book you for X month at whatever fee etc.

i would send her a message saying that your friend has a rash, get a pic from google, and could she look at it for her. If she says no thats your starter for the conversation, along with details on how her friends can get a quote.