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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in wanting to give my bil a quick firm kick?

13 replies

williamsmummy · 07/11/2007 11:33

Okay, have to say that this conversation was after a couple of drinks.
BIL asked if I thought his daughter was particularly pretty, he said that he couldnt say as his own opinon was biased .

This was said in such a way it made me think he was hoping for me say that I thought she was.

Which I have to say She is. So i couldnt lie.

But then he went on to say that his other daughter was 'quite dumpy, and wouldnt be as good looking as her sister'

I was soooooo angry this child is NOT overweight, in fact both children have food issues and in the past I have worried that both were underweight!!
AND BOTH children are IMO beautiful, and will be very attractive women.

I am sooo cross with this blatent favouritism, he is always mentioning how 'blobby' this child is, and that jeans dont fit her.

i tackfully mentioned that the fashion for skinney jeans, and other 'adult' style clothes do not suit a childs body shape.
Any percieved tummy will disapear when they hit their teen years.

If my bil thinks his skinny children are fat, what on earth does he think about my daughter, who is taller broader , bigger footed and does have a bit of a tum?
He must think she is obese!!

AHHHH!

OP posts:
Bouncingturtle · 07/11/2007 11:50

Good God, I hope your nieces never heard this conversation - I would have been devastated if my dad said owt like that to me. Let's face it, how girls seem themsleves perceived by the opposite sex is greatly influenced by how they are perceived by their dads - the primary male role model in their life.
Get kicking!!!

SoupDragon · 07/11/2007 11:54

Oh dear

skeletonbones · 07/11/2007 12:04

YANBU do you have quite a good relationship with BIL? Could you perhaps talk to him about this and say how upset you are to hear him critise neice and that you wondered if he was aware of how upsetting favouring the looks of one child might be to the other. Do you know much about his childhood was he a favoured/least favorite child and hes repeating this sort of behavior with his girls?

williamsmummy · 07/11/2007 16:44

my BIl had a wonderful childhood with two loving supportive parents.

His children were not able to hear this conversation, this time.
so on behalf of all woman , can I kick him?

OP posts:
themoon66 · 07/11/2007 16:46

Was it a sly way of having a dig at your DD?

themoon66 · 07/11/2007 16:46

oh.. and YANBU IMO - kick away.

TellusMater · 07/11/2007 16:48

Such an odd question for a dad to ask really. Of course DH thinks DD is beautiful, but he wouldn't seek out an 'unbiased' opinion about it. Why would he?

Troutpout · 07/11/2007 16:49

mm yes ...have to say i thought the same as moon.
oh kick away...do you wanna borrow my boots?

LadyOfWaffle · 07/11/2007 16:49

Give him one from me.

VictorianSqualor · 07/11/2007 16:57

Kick him, lots.

FWIW, children rarely show how they will look when they grow up, they are different shapes and sizes and have gangly periods and pretty periods and lanky periods and fat periods etc!

I said to my DP that I thought DD was looking prettier lately, but I always thought she was pretty, she just went through that stage where everything is long and lanky, then round and podgy, now she has evened out a bit iyswim.

Silly man.

I doubt he meant any harm, but he could seriously damage them if they ever realise he thinks that way

hazygirl · 07/11/2007 17:07

MY ELDEST DD had eating problems took long time sorting ,at first vegetarian came in then ate so little ended up ill it was hard and horrific time and it affected the whole family ,it was hell. but she was so scared of getting fat,i dont know why ,im big but used to be slim anyway of course all relitives knew but 2 week ago my mil[bitch] said it was about time she lost her baby weight ffs ,dd never told me till we were home said she didnt want any more crap in her life,but dd baby is 6 week old.my mil was a nurse now retired thank god .but why cant people keep their mouths shut/ give bil a bick kick and also my mil while you r at it

hanaflower · 07/11/2007 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

williamsmummy · 07/11/2007 22:26

thanks everyone. feel better now.

I do love this site!!

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