Worried I come across as dull and lacking in knowledge

[Dragisnotacontactsport]

I've always been quiet, shy and introverted which I think there is nothing wrong with at all, we're all different.

However I feel like I come across as dull and uninteresting, even though I've lived an interesting life so far.

I often have nothing to say, I just go blank and cannot think of anything. I try to ask the person about themselves which I've been instructed to do previously.

I relish time alone when I don't have to speak. I don't mind texting online as it requires much less energy.

I don't read much, I enjoy reading articles but I'm not interested in reading classic novels or literature. If somebody asks me to name a favourite book I couldn't say. I like films though.

I occasionally make myself read a book every now and again but most of my reading is on the internet.

I have specific interests, I like learning about different cultures and how they live. I was learning about prisons yesterday, and have a large interest in crime, I recently watched the Ted Bundy documentary.

I have limited understanding of history, I failed the subject at school and don't know how to comment on it.

I know about key historical events, but nothing further than that, and if somebody tells me something I don't really know what to say other than, oh that's interesting, or something along those lines.

I've never understood how people can have a long discussion about things that happened in the 18th century, for instance.

We watched a program about the North passage recently, and I hadn't even heard of it until that point.

My boyfriend is very interested in history and I think I feel stupid sometimes. If we pass a church for instance he will know everything it and I will just be like oh.. that's a pretty church.

I have a degree and a Master's, and i don't think I'm unintelligent, just that something is lacking.

I could recite many statistics and facts about the lockdown and the Government strategies, I could discuss the Megan Markle and Harry incident, I could talk a lot about Ru Paul's Drag Race, and so on. Just generic subjects or popular culture.

I like watching programs about health or for instance I've really enjoyed watching It's a sin recently.
Sorry if I've rambled on a little, I hope this makes sense.

I guess the answer is read more about history and maybe just read more in general? I just don't know how to talk about it though. It seems like people just recite facts to each other.

I'm sure my boyfriend wouldn't be with me if he didn't find me interesting or intelligent enough, but this also extends to my family when they have certain discussions, I've nothing to add.

I'm similarly qualified and not remotely intellectual. My boss is, and when he tried to engage me in some philosophical discussion about economics I simply told him I wasn't the best person to have that chat with.

I can hold my own when it comes to people dynamics though and can often spot looming situations he just can't. I think we all bring different things to the party.

Dp is scarily intelligent, retains all sorts of info but lacks common sense. I don't think he feels superior to me - I'm sure if asked he'd say quite the opposite as my practical skills make for an easier life.

Thanks again everyone.
I agree it is low self-esteem, I really want to improve it.
I like TOWIE, made in Chelsea, Drag Race, read magazines like Closer and like having Botox, fillers, going to the salon and so on.

I've had the insecurity that these things must make me appear vacuous and shallow. Maybe to some they will, but I shouldn't care.

I need to be more honest and just say to my boyfriend that I'm not that interested in or knowledgeable on these subjects, I think I've hinted at it in the past.

I find myself scouring websites constantly for conversation topics, yet it just seems to come so naturally to some people.

Hopefully I'll build my confidence and start to accept myself more.

You need to learn to
Smile-nod - "What do I think? I think John's information is very interesting. Can you fell us more, John?" Smile - nod. Add occasional "hmmm. Aha"
That's how I survive when I don't know something 😂

You sound lovely and we would have lots to chat about. Your horrible ex is responsible for putting you down. I have never heard anyone speaking like that to someone. Please have some counselling for that as its beyond abusive.
You need to come to a place where you are happy with where you are at. Stop trying to look up stuff just for the sake of conversation. You are fine as you are. Being a listener is a great gift. Your bf could be considered boring by a lot of people going on about old churches..some would like it others would hate it. It doesn't make him superior just different.
I have a close friend whose dh left as he had met his " soul mate" who was more interested in philosophy etc than my friend. She is the most fabulous, funny entertaining kind person but his statements really knocked her. I believe she would leave him sitting with her superior traits.
Be yourself girl!

Don’t be too hard on yourself, just be honest if someone ask you for your favourite book just say oh I don’t read much I’m more into xyz. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I have an MA in history and when I drive past a church I think... oh that’s a pretty church. Don’t be hard on yourself, be who you are.

I studied history and still love it, read about it, talk about but I don't lecture people who aren't interested. I've read Austen, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy and all that jazz. It doesn't make me a better person, I just like reading.
Hardly anyone I know is interested. My DH likes reading books about how machines work and watching documentaries about aircraft carriers and stuff like that. That's fine.
My best friend likes the stuff you like true crime, TOWIE etc.
We still talk to each other.
It's ok to like different things, your boyfriend just sounds like a snobby arse.
You sound fine to me and I'd have no problem chatting to you

OP, your interests sound normal and perfectly interesting! I don't think many people would be able to (or have any desire to!) have 'a long conversation about the 18th century'. And I say that as someone who is married to a history teacher.

Reading worthy literature or being able to hold forth about churches do not make a person interesting. Films are just as worthy of discussion as anything else. Honestly- your worries that you're boring have been entirely created by arseholes undervaluing you! Enjoy the things you're interested in. Talk about them only as much as you feel like. Ignore the arseholes.

What was your degree subject, and your Master’s? You must have found those interesting. Were they scientific and maybe less accessible to others so never relevant to conversations?

This sounds like a self esteem issue to me, leading to you ending up with men that have some sort of superiority complex.

My DH would rip the piss if I started quoting church facts. Neither of us has any interest in them. You have to find someone you are comfortable with who makes you feel good as you are.

You sound like my kind of girl OP. We seem much alike even down to the obsession with true crime, Drag Race and a partner who loves history!

I've often thought the same when I'm around friends who are passionate and articulate about topics they enjoy. I'm not shy but that just not me. I've always enjoyed scouring the web, watching documentaries or listening to podcast to learn rather than reading books or debating with friends. I could tell you all sorts about true crime, LBGTQ+ history, mythology, space and occultism. I'm guessing like me, you don't have "normal" interests so you tend to chat about them less. No one starts a conversation with "Hi, I'm sayanything, I like reading about murderers but I swear I'm totally normal".