Another Mother's Day one

[whatafuckingjoke]

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable here but... I'm self employed and my business is currently closed due to covid. Dh is working and earns good money. I'm getting social welfare but it's not much. I usually transfer it to his account and we work off his account.

I take his card when I go to do the shopping. That's all I do. I'm at home all the time apart from that.
Just now I asked him for money to go and get my mother something for Mother's Day. He said no.
I know he was joking but I felt so humiliated. I've always had my own money and I HATE asking.
So I just left the room.
He followed me about half an hour later and asked me why I wasn't gone to town. I got upset and said that it's humiliating enough having to ask, and since he said no I obviously wasn't going to ask again.

Now he isn't talking to me. He said I'm being ridiculous and he only said no because he was teasing me for asking because I don't have to ask.

But I do. The card is in his wallet. I don't have it. So obviously I have to ask. Anyway he thinks I'm being completely ridiculous and is furious with me.

WIBU to get upset?

Why do you have to transfer your money over to his account each month if he earns a good wage? I don’t think you’re being over sensitive and I sound feel the same way. You shouldn’t have to keep asking for money and I think it’s really important that you both sit down and work out a plan where you can have some of your own disposable income without having to run it by him first. Has your husband ever made you feel uncomfortable about money in the past?

*would not sound!

@Choccyaddict4eva no, he has never made me feel uncomfortable about it before, but I earn really good money when I'm working and I'd never be in this position.
I've been transferring my money to him because I've never not paid my way and I feel better contributing something.

I don't think you're being overly sensitive. Your feelings are highlighting an important issue that centres on your identify and role and value.

You each need your own card for the family account.

@dudsville thank you. I think you're right. I'll talk to him about it tomorrow.

Okay I’m glad to hear that. Definitely agree with some of the other posters, it would be better if you each had your own cards to access the account. Also don’t feel bad about not being able to contribute your equal share- the situation is what it is right now and you can’t blame yourself for that.

@Choccyaddict4eva thank you. That's a good point, I hadn't thought of it that way.