AIBU to call her parents

[lockdownwithwhoresdrawers]

Best friend of 23 years has gone off grid today. I went to call her, having spoken last Saturday, and found the phone not even ringing and WhatsApp messages not going through. I have been blocked by her and so has my husband who knows her well through me.
I know she was active on Instagram earlier this morning as she shared something related to the Clapham murder, so messaged her there to say to call me, and later to say that I would be calling her parents tomorrow if she didn't respond.

She is a Junior doctor in London at the moment, recently relocated to on-site accommodation with strangers and has found the last year emotionally difficult. I am close with her parents since losing my mother 3 years ago (last Saturday which is why we spoke then).

AIBU to contact her parents as this is very out of character for her? I last saw her maybe 3 weeks ago for a walk as she hadn't been out of the hospital site for weeks.

Could it be because its mothers day? If she is ttc and it's not happening for her, then she may want radio silence today.

Ive a friend who does this on fathers day (she lost her dad a couple of years back). She doesn't want to see Fathers day posts.

Also, it's only 9-10am and she was online earlier this morning.

Why so worried?

Would you call her my to check in on Mother’s Day normally? I mean if you are close to them.... could you drop into convo oh i’ve not spoken to X, is she really busy at work? Etc xx

Also could her phone be broken? Hence no WhatsApp and phone not ringing... insta could be through Ipad?

Are you sure she's blocked you and it's not that her phone has broken?

So you’d worry her mother on Mother’s Day?!

As a fellow doctor who has seen some awful things this last year think there’s a realistic likelihood something not good has happened
If you think you’ve done nothing to earn being blocked and she’s not on shift with a mobile inaccessible or out if battery, I would contact mutual friends to see if they’ve seen her

Are you sure you are blocked if you can see her Instagram? Is there any reason she might have blocked you? I think given the nature of her job and her young age then your right to contact them if you are concerned, especially if you are close and can do it in a casual way. She might just be asleep though.

I would contact her parents to see if she is ok, you are close to them and this sounds totally out of character for her.

I am a junior doctor and if her past year has been anything like mine it has been horrific. And she is living in London and in on site accommodation which will probably make things much harder. Also recent events have many of women pretty shaken up.

You never know what is going on in someone’s life and just checking with her family to ensure she is safe and ok seems utterly appropriate to me! Isn’t that just being a good friend?

I'd suggest trying mutual friends first.

She's probably working. A lot of hospitals don't have good connection inside them and wifi tends to drain batteries very quickly.

Weird you would suddenly call her parents because she isn't answering for only one day, unless there's a backstory.

She was online this morning ffs! So she must have switched her phone off / got no signal / blocked you. None of which are reasons to call her parents!

If she's blocked you then I don't think she'll appreciate you phoning her mum to ask why.

Anything happened since?

so messaged her there to say to call me, and later to say that I would be calling her parents tomorrow if she didn't respond.
This is a grown adult you're talking about? And you threatened her with her parents if she didn't respond to your message?
She'd been active on social media relatively recently, so you can't have been concerned at the point. What on earth did you do that for?

Did you argue when you last spoke? Has anything happened that would mean she doesn't want to talk to you?

Did something happen for her to block you? Do you have any reason to be concerned about her well being? Because if not...

She was active on Instagram this morning and you're on about calling her parents at 9am? I think you're way overthinking this.

Presumably she might just be at work and not have her phone on her?

Unless she has said/done anything to worry you about her state of mind I would say you were over reacting.

You would be totally unreasonable, intrusive and bullying to threaten to to call her parents and ruin Mother's day when you know perfectly well their DD is alive and in contact with people she WANTS to be in touch with. How DARE you threaten her like that?

Maybe that kind of behaviour is why she's blocked you.

She is active on SM. She is an adult. She just hasn’t contacted you.

Why would you threaten to call her parents if she didn’t respond??? What was the rationale for that???

She has blocked you? Take the hint.

Unless you think she's suicidal or likely to harm herself, no I wouldn't contact her parents. If she's blocked you there will be a reason and it's bordering on controlling for you to bring her parents into it.