Reading posts about male harassment towards women... and seeing people post their experiences has got me wondering a few things.
I didn’t think it was ALL women that had experienced harassment and certainly didn’t think all women who had been SEXUALLY harassed by men but reading everyone’s experiences on other posts I’m starting to think it probably is ALL women.
So, I may be completely wrong asking this but I want to ask and appreciate anyone who wants to answer.
How old were you the first time?
I’m going to post my own experience here, but first want to say that if you don’t want to read about abuse in childhood you need to stop reading right now.
The earliest memory for me is not really a memory at all, just something strange that I didn’t think about much until I was an adult.
When I was no older than 4 (we left that house when I was 4 so I’m certain) I used to be petrified of the wardrobe in my bedroom and used to dream that the ‘Mummy’ thing from Thundercats (I think) used to take me in there and touch me.
I never thought much of it until it came up in a conversation about nightmares when I was an adult and I said “I used to dream Mumra used to take me in the wardrobe and rape me or something” to which my mum replied “Don’t be stupid, you weren’t even old enough to know what rape was”
It bothered me for a long time, I really wasn’t old enough to know what rape was, but I DID have those dreams and I had them often.
The first time I was sexually assaulted was when I was again, living in the same house so no older than 4, possibly younger too. It didn’t happen in our house, it happened in a shop called ‘Do it all’ where for some reason I was allowed to sit with the security guard whilst my parents went around the store. I sat on his lap and he was rubbing my private parts with his hand and I think he was trying to press into my vagina with his finger (through my clothes)
I remember this very very clearly, though I don’t remember anything about that day before or after. I didn’t tell anyone. This is the first time I have ever mentioned it.
The second time was in our house (same house, so same age range) where my cousin asked me if I wanted to ‘play sex’, he was on top of me both fully clothed, and I said no and he got off me. He’s 5 or 6 years older than me so was about 9/10.
Third time, again same house so similar age. Neighbours young teenage cousin was kissing and touching me in a tent in the back garden where we were all playing. It wasn’t forced. I didn’t think anything of it.
Fourth time I was about 8, man in our local newsagents (where my brother had a paper round) would touch/rub me at any opportunity and give me £1 when I left. I didn’t try to stop him. I always took the money. It sounds weird but it felt normal to me.
Fifth time I was around the same age, some work men were renovating some maisonettes near where we lived and he kissed me and touched me in the stair well, explained to me what it meant when a man ‘cums’ and also asked me if I had a little skirt and I should wear one next time I come round and play.
There is a lot more after these incidents too, with more men, but it’s about as much as I feel comfortable writing about.
I just would like to know how old other women were the first time. Because I don’t believe for a second I am the only one who went through this and thought it was ‘normal’
Not just once, and with people who were not linked to each other in any way shape or form.
Thank you if you’ve read this far. If you don’t mind sharing then thank you, I don’t mind if you don’t want to share what happened but want to answer the question with just your age. And of course if you don’t want to answer at all. I do understand if this post is completely not right for this forum.