To ask how you got confidence back?

[Opal93]

To all of you who have ever been in a situation that has destroyed your confidence and come out the other end, how did you get your confidence back? This could mean after you left an abusive relationship or gone NC with an abusive parent or were bullied at work or just any traumatic situations that knocked you . We’re there any specific things you did to rebuild your confidence and feel like you again? And how did you know when you were feeling better ? I am NC with my abusive DM from Christmas, and I was in Tesco’s earlier and I realised I wasn’t saying “sorry” to absolutely everyone for no reason. I had a sort of moment of realisation that there’s nothing wrong with me, I have a right to be here and NC is definitely good for me and the right thing to do

It's a slow process for sure and never 100% completed. Emdr therapy was a huge turning point for me.Had a hugely abusive relationship for 5 years.. after 10 years and someone on here suggested emdr therapy...life changing.

I had my confidence crushed years back when I moved jobs and was bullied in a notoriously toxic team, luckily only for a few moved before moving to a different team.

It took time. What helped around the time was talking to friends who questined my negative self talk and going out doing fun things to raise my mood ( hard at the moment I appreciate).

Moving on I worked away from that team and away from the situation tapped into my confidence again in a more healthy environment.

If this had not helped I would have looked towards counselling.

Putting myself out of my comfort zone, partly in necessity as I needed the money. Succeeding at work was a huge boost to my self esteem. New hair cut/clothes, taking up a sport hobby or activity. Good look x

Luck!

When I left my ex husband I felt so low, had no confidence and basically felt like a fat, ugly, useless piece of shit.

I did all the cliched things really, lost a bit of weight, started taking pride in my appearance again (I had 5 kids in 5 years and when we split I suddenly had three nights a week to myself to actually do these things again!). I eventually got a job, went back to college, made friends, met someone new and started my own business.

The reasons why you lack confidence will be different for everyone but I think once you identify what it is then you just need to find a way to work on it.

OP i am also NC with my mum and I felt like it was a weight off my shoulders not having someone criticise everything I did. It was easy for me as we live a few hours away from each other but still a tough thing to do at the time.