Is monogamy overrated?

[Dunkindonuts8]

A quick scroll through the relationship board is enough to tell you that affairs seem fairly common. There are probably countless other affairs taking place that the partners are blissfully unaware of. So it has made me wonder, are humans SUPPOSED to be monogamous? Apparently, in the animal kingdom, its unusual and might be more of a learned trait rather than an evolutionary or instinctive trait? Are we unnecessarily forcing a societal norm on ourselves? If we accepted polygamy then would more relationships be happy?

Its another post that is on aibu at the moment that has made me wonder this - where the husband seems to genuinely love his wife and would otherwise be considered a 'good' husband, but just can't keep it in his pants. Do his affairs diminish what he feels for his wife? Or, just like you have 'extra' love to go around when you have a second child, can the same thing happen?

Just to say I've no strong feelings about polygamy and I'm absolutely not saying its correct, but I just wondering why things are how they are! Hope I won't get a flaming, its just a genuine curiosity.

What do you think you're being unreasonable about?

For wondering if monogamy is something imposed by society or something that we are....I don't know..... is genetically the right word?

There are biological things about humans (its things like testical size, which in humans is moderate), and sexual dimorphism (men are a little bit bigger than woman, but relative to some animals, not loads) which indicate we evolved to become more monogamous from about homo erectus onwards).

Its not overrated. It's important from an evolutionary perspective, both parents investment in offspring is a significant factor in human success.

Ps re the man who cant keep it in his pants it's because humans are socially monogamous. Google it. It means we form mates pairs, but it's not out of the question for either party to have also had sex with other partners.

Just to add to my point earlier, monogamy is essential in both parents investing in the offspring. In species that are not monogamous Dad doesnt parent the offspring. Why would he, he can't guarantee it's his.

that involvement of the co-parent that contributes to

• ensuring human babies survive infanthood being born much less developed than many species are
• ensuring humans survive a childhood that is very long relative to many species
• passing on more knowledge and skills from parent to child

Once the babies are out the nest, I suppose there maybe is no real need.