Picky Eater

[Blueberries0112]

I have a daughter who is extremely picky eater (I think she has a texture issue). I am trying to decide how to handle it.
My sister loves to cook but my daughter will not try any food. I often begged her to take a bite. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t.
What I don’t like is how she expressed herself when she doesn’t like the food. Like splitting it out or says says she doesn’t like it even before she give it a chance.

Usually, I had let her express herself and accepted and move on when she says she foesn’t like it and I prefer not to pressure her but my sister told her it is rude when someone is trying to cook for her and expect her to at least try it. What would you do?

Hi @Newmum912 I'm not sure if you'll see this but I wanted to give you a huge hug and let you know you are not alone. Your story could be mine!
My LO is 33 months and became picky at 9 months old by 14 months we were down to yoghurt and crackers. He suffered from teething terribly which put him off eating. He also caught a vomiting bug at around 9 months which immediately put him off wet textures.

I too got told by a Dr to "starve him out". We tried it and it was hell - we had non-stop tantrums due to him being so hungry but he still refused food, to the point if he saw his high chair or a plate he would scream. I would be so upset after a meal, I'd have to go to my bedroom and scream into a pillow, while my partner saw to screaming LO. How could he be so visibly hungry yet refuse or destroy any food in front of him? The nursery intervened and said they could not have a child with them for four days a week not eating anything all day. I felt so ashamed & we gave up on the Drs advice. We paid for a private dietitian who told us to stop worrying about what he eats and focus on making mealtimes fun. She said to have safe food (crackers and yoghurt) available at every meal so he knows there is something he can eat alongside his meal. Serve the food describing what it is ("the carrot is crunchy" etc) but do not make any attempt to force-feed, shame or beg. You choose what to serve, he chooses what to eat. Make peace with tipping food in the bin and ignore all the "wasting food is a sin" comments , it will only make you feel bad. While they learn to love food, there will be waste, nevermind.

We had a 3-way call with nursery & dietician and nursery adopted the safe food approach. We also did lots of no-pressure food positive play at home at and at nursery. The dietician recommended we pursue the Drs for blood tests / more support to rule out medical issues like allergies, intolerance or oral motor function problems. That has taken forever as they really did not want to listen to me or the dietician but we are finally registered with a feeding clinic and see them next year.

My LO is still resistant to food and only eats a handful of things but he comes willingly to the dinner table, can touch and name everything on his plate and neither of us has anxiety over mealtimes anymore. Sometimes at social things or when I see families in cafes or restaurants, I get really sad and wish he'd change but having read the comments above, I can see it is much better to make peace with their food aversion than using force or shame. I'd love to connect/share experiences as it can be very lonely going through this. All children are different and ours have a thing about food, it does not make you a bad Mum, please look after yourself. All the best xx

Hi Kastle 345 mum, im not sure that you would receive this respond, i really appreciate your thoughts. Im sorry to hear that your son is the same, must be so stressful for you both at meal time, i am so proud of you be honest, i feel that eveyday meal :(( i guess try your best mum
Yes my son 18months now, and he still has not changed anything, still picky eater, and fussy, spoon fed milk still now because he hates milk when he was 2 months old, there is no way he would hold the cup or straw to feed himself unfortunately. We are constantly worry for his eating habit (either foods or liquid). We have tried to listened to doctor again same as you, but he starved himself for 3 days without eating (i still spoon fed him milk at that time), one time he was on strike with any liquid, there was no way liwuid can go inside him for 3 weeks (i went nuts) we had to fed any fruits has juicy, i was so so stressful.
Now basically he is surving by yogurt (4 containers a day) and 3 cups of milk (sometime i add fruits) for him to have some calories :(( and one in a blue moon he would have some vege or noodle or pasta :(( but not much. I dont force him as much, i let he tried the foods, if he like them he would have abit or i would stop (bcz when i force spoon feed him, the monent the spoon went inside, i was abit happy, but right away he spat right out, he is big now, he control himself very much) i gave up :(( yogurt and milk then :((
Doctor wont listen to us, they said he is fine ( he 18months, 12kg =27lbs, he hasnt gain any weight for 4months) :(( he hasnt grow
I dunno what would i do when he start to get bigger and he will stop drink the milk or anything, whats about day care in the future :((i always stressful to take him to the public.
Me and my husband just had to accept that fact my son is really fussy and pikcy when go to foods, just suck it in and lets time fly :((
My mom has 5 kids, all she can advices me that time will pass, all kids are differetn, might take longer, but he will be fine after 3years old or 5 at least :((
I feel you, tough! hugs :)

Sorry to gatcradh i cannot figure out how to start a new thread 😂 can anyone help?

You know what she will eat. Sounds like she eats a decent balance of foods if she has fruit and veg in there.

I would tell your sister to leave feeding her to you.

Please don't force her to eat anything. I was forced by my father and school headteacher who were from the Victorian train of thought that children must obey their parents every command and eat everything that they are given.

It has left me with huge issues over food. I can't stand the texture/smell of so many things.

Ask your DD to just try it, and don't make an issue if she won't. Have a chat with her though about how it's polite to just quietly put the item on your plate and not say that its yucky or whatever.

Your DD is far more likely to eat normally when she is older if people don't pressure her now.

So good to see so many posters saying don't force her.
I was a horribly picky eater as a child, it was the textures which were the issue for me. Anything slimy like cooked mushrooms were just awful for me, I would be trying to force them down and retching, sometimes I'd be in tears. I absolutely loved raw veg though and would happily eat loads.
It would often end in a standoff with me having to sit at the table with a cold plate of food, hours after everyone else had finished. I'd never eat it though.
As an adult although there are a couple of things I won't eat (cooked mushrooms), I have a really healthy varied diet with tons of cooked veg.
Please don't worry OP, she'll grow out of it, although I agree you could work with her on politely declining things rather than spitting out.