Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I am the only one to discover my elderly mother no longer knows me after having Covid?

12 replies

loveyouradvice · 12/03/2021 23:03

I suspect I'm not alone... going into her care home and seeing my Mum for the first time since she had Covid 5 weeks ago, I discovered she no longer knew me and anything about herself ... chatting in her home, she told me she didn't have a bedroom there and seemed to have forgotten everything.

She is described as having Covid mildly, asymptomatically with just exhaustion and delirium for a few days.... but it seems to have robbed her of her memory. I don't know if it will come back.

In November, when I saw her a lot, she still knew who all her children/grandchildren/friends were and could talk about simple things.

I have suddenly lost my mother and don't know if she will come back

Is this the hidden side of Covid amongst the elderly?

OP posts:
cookinahurry · 12/03/2021 23:05

Sorry I don't know but didn't want to read and run. Keep love in your heart x

maynardgkrebs · 12/03/2021 23:13

Very sad to hear about your mother. Covid is an inflammatory disease, and as it has caused many to have lingering heart and lung problems, blood clots, and strokes, I am not all that surprised it can exacerbate or perhaps cause vascular dementia. It is also possible c/- covid, she may have had a series of mini strokes. Alternatively, in her weakened state, she may just need more time to recover, and come good to some degree. Keep the faith, play her music she will recognize and enjoy. I hope she returns to you.

SnackSizeRaisin · 12/03/2021 23:20

Yes unfortunately it is a known effect of covid in elderly people. My dad (70) who before covid had some memory problems but was working, driving and active in the community, had about a week of not even knowing how to find the bathroom at home. He then had a couple of weeks of not remembering he had children. After a couple of months he is back to normal personality wise (makes jokes, etc) but his memory is poor. He goes every week to collect a fish and chips from a local pub and each week my mum has to remind him how to get there. He can't remember what he did this morning. It was a shock for us too as we had considered the possibility of death but not of this! He does seem to be improving very slightly as time goes on though. His covid wasn't that bad either - no breathing problems etc. I would say there is hope for your mum to improve a bit yet. I hope she does. Can you show her photos to try and jog her memory?

Bonnieonthelam · 12/03/2021 23:22

I’m so sorry for her memory loss, I do hope it comes back soon so that you can share lovely memories OP X

SnackSizeRaisin · 12/03/2021 23:36

In fact thinking back, 5 weeks after my dad had it he was still really bad. My mum was pretty despairing at that point. He was so anxious he wouldn't let her out if his sight. He's definitely loads better than that now so I'd say your mum may well improve quite a bit although it might take a while.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 12/03/2021 23:40

I think that it’s possibly the after effect of the delirium, as much as the link specifically to covid. My dear aunt suffered an extended period of delirium, having been perfectly well mentally previously, after a severe bone infection in her early 80s. It took a while but she did recover her memory to a surprising degree.

I can only imagine how awful this must be, for both of you, but hold on to the fact that she is still recovering.

Emeraldshamrock · 12/03/2021 23:42

It must have been really upsetting for you.
Hopefully her memory will return she is probably exhausted even from a mild case. Flowers

Original poster
loveyouradvice · 12/03/2021 23:55

Snacksize that's encouraging ... and sad... how very tough for you and your mum. Any idea if you felt that resting more might have helped him as he recovered, or anything else?

And thank you to everyone else for coming and not running.... it is tough... and I suspect there are a lot of us out there

OP posts:
polkadotpixie · 12/03/2021 23:58

Any kind of infection can cause delerium in elderly people and unfortunately they often don't return to their baseline afterwards

My Grandma had it after a chest infection, recovered to about 85% then got a urine infection that triggered another bout of delerium and never really recovered. She had a massive stroke shortly after and no longer knows who we are and is unable to walk or speak 😢

Redsquirrel5 · 13/03/2021 00:19

That is really tough and sad for you.
I have a friend who is early forties who had Covid in March last year. He was young, slim, fit dad to two lovely girls. He said he had some memory loss and confusion. He has long Covid diagnosed. He was struggling to walk a few hundred feet about two to three months after and was struggling to speak to me. He couldn’t speak a full sentence without gasping. He is improving but he also told me they have a What’s App Group for people and there was forty people in it ( this is last May) that were suffering like him and some were worse. I haven’t seen him for a couple of months but last time I saw him he wasn’t fit enough for work and I don’t think he will be for a while.

I am just telling you this as he was relatively young. He works as a carer which is how he got it. His wife and children didn’t get it.

I hope your mum regains her memory. Could you take photos of the two of you together and perhaps some objects that were in the family house maybe an ornament, a flower, perfume etc ? Sometimes smells can trigger memories if she hasn’t lost her sense of smell or perhaps music a song you sang as a child or something like that. I hope you find something to trigger a memory and then others may follow.

I hope her memory returns. 🙏I will think of her in my prayers.

SnackSizeRaisin · 13/03/2021 14:03

Snacksize that's encouraging ... and sad... how very tough for you and your mum. Any idea if you felt that resting more might have helped him as he recovered, or anything else?

I don't know if anything in particular helped, he did have a lot of days of not getting out of bed at all. Apart from that my mum tried to keep him interested in food and pottering about the house doing little jobs like laying the table etc. He was noticeably worse after spending a day in hospital having tests. So I think the routine of being at home with regular meals etc was better for him.

Original poster
loveyouradvice · 14/03/2021 21:22

thank you ... and that's very interesting Snacksize - one of my concerns is that she may be doing a bit too much at the moment and need the odd day in bed.... so difficult to judge, they all seem so positive about her going downstairs every day but it may be stretching her a bit too much.... and Redsquirrel thanks you for good ideas......

Tomorrow I go in with daffodils from the garden and photos and hope in my heart

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page