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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how you carry on...

7 replies

Peachyqueen · 12/03/2021 22:36

...after admitting to yourself that you have a drinking problem.

I can't remember the last night I didn't have a drink. I get through 2 cans of lager and at least half a bottle of wine a night.

Tonight I've had double that and I'm sick of myself. What do I do and how do I get better

OP posts:
Peachyqueen · 12/03/2021 22:58

So I guess I just don't carry on

OP posts:
MorePotatoSalad · 12/03/2021 22:59

How easy would it be for you to go cold turkey? Could you do that (understanding that you might have slipups) and pay for counselling?

Or have a look for your local drug and alcohol service and do a self referral, or speak to your GP.

imalmostthere · 12/03/2021 23:11

Speak to your GP, look online to see if there are any alcohol dependency groups locally. Tell someone close to you. Find an online sponsor, someone who you can talk to each day who is also alcohol dependent but now sober, who can help support you and keep you on track.
There are a thousand ways to get help for this op, you just need to really want to!

Skysblue · 12/03/2021 23:27

OP that is awesome! It usually takes so long to recognise alcohol addiction and many people never take that step.

You obviously need to stop drinking, but if you are physically addicted, this may be hard to do without support. My friend was extremely addicted and had to be prescribed pills that made her nauseous if she drank alcohol- she needed that to quit and did quit. Unfortunately she had already done serious damage to her body by then.

You need to find supportive people who can talk to you about this. Maybe GP, maybe Alcoholics Anonymous.

You have taken the hardest step of recognising the problem. Now you need a plan.

You CAN do this. People quit drinking all the time. You can be one of them.

HeartvsBrain · 12/03/2021 23:40

I am so sorry to hear this OP. You desperately need some RL support, do you have any family or friends that you can absolutely trust, if so please talk to them about this. You also need to see your GP about this, or at least have a phone appointment with them if they are only seeing emergencies. Some people would not think that that much alcohol a day is too bad, but as I am sure you know, it is certainly more than the 14 units a week that we are supposed have as a maximum.

I am no expert on this, so I do hope you get some replys from people who really know what they are talking about. I know that the liver needs rests from processing alcohol, so if at first you could manage one or two evenings a week without any alcohol, that would be great. However if you are living alone, and especially if you are WFH at the moment as well, it is understandable that you use alcohol to help you feel relaxed, and less stressed for a while. Hopefully your GP can come up with other methods to relax and de-stress yourself. I can only think of the obvious ones, such as going for a walk in the daylight in somewhere as pretty as possible. If you are not near the countryside, do you have a nice park that you can wrap up warmly and go for a walk in, that should give you both fresh air, and some exercise. If you like reading and have a garden, or access to a communal one, again wrap up very warmly, take a blanket into the garden with you, and an insulated mug with your favourite hot drink in it, and just sit in the garden, reading your book, but 20 - 30 minutes would be long enough, I don't want you freezing to death!

You don't sound as if you are an alcoholic (again I only know anything about being an alcoholic from seeing it on TV, or reading articles about it), but my understanding of being an alcoholic is that they wake up in the morning craving an alcoholic drink, and that they rarely get noticeably drunk because their bodies are so used to the alcohol that it doesn't really show, and everyone is so used to their behaviour under the influence of alcohol, that it takes some kind of change in routine for it to show up. Having said that, I believe that an alcoholic cannot function in the same way as others can, and some are very obviously drunk all the time.

Are you not only worried about how much you are drinking at the moment, but afraid you will start drinking more and more.
Again, I come back to the thought that you need support from a loved one, and support from your GP.

The only other thing I can think of at the moment is that (I hope this doesn't sound condescending) is how great it is that you have realised that what you are doing is not healthy - either for your mind or your body, and I am sure that your self-awareness, and desire to be more healthy and/or less dependant on alcohol, will help you greatly with your motivation to cut down your alcohol consumption.

Your GP, or a mumsnetter may hopefully be able to give you a sort of step by step approach on how to start cutting down on your drinking, all I can say is please be kind to yourself, and try to plan little treats for yourself, I am sending you a big hug. xx

FOJN · 13/03/2021 00:09

You don't sound as if you are an alcoholic (again I only know anything about being an alcoholic from seeing it on TV, or reading articles about it), but my understanding of being an alcoholic is that they wake up in the morning craving an alcoholic drink, and that they rarely get noticeably drunk because their bodies are so used to the alcohol that it doesn't really show,

This is not an accurate description of most alcoholics and the criteria you have listed are not helpful in diagnosing the addiction. I am an alcoholic, many years in recovery.

OP I relate to not being able to remember when I last went a day without a drink, it's a long time ago now but it filled me with a sense of hopeless inevitability everyday. I stopped drinking with the help of AA, it may not suit everyone but it worked for me. You can contact them on the national or local helpline and they will put you in touch with a recovering alcoholic you can talk to, keep an open mind, you have nothing to lose. There will be other services available if AA doesn't appeal and your GP should he able to point you in the right direction.

You might find it hard to imagine a life without alcohol but it is possible and what's more it's better than I imagined it would be, I wouldn't trade the life I have now for the one I had when drinking. You don't need to spend the rest of your life obsessing about the next drink you can be free to get on with living. Good luck

Sleepingdogs12 · 13/03/2021 00:59

I think it can easily creep up if you regularly drink at home. You can come back from this. You are being honest with yourself and that is the first step. Talk to the gp and move forward from there.

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