My heart is currently broken. For six months I've been joined at the hip and phone to a man who I thought loved me and wanted something long term. He came along when I was suffering from anxiety and it cleared up within days of meeting him. He gave me all these feelings of happiness and love again. I'm a mum of two little children and as much as I love the bones of them, I was happy having something that made me more than just a mum. I can't explain how he did it. He was consistent. Full of compliments and made me see things differently in a good way. He made me feel light.
But there were many red flags looking back. I started getting that feeling in my gut and I knew things were not right. For a start he was always saying what a loyal decent man he was. He would talk about the "idiots" he worked with and how they would be passing photos of women around at work and he'd be disgusted at their lack of respect. But he started slipping up. He often had someone bothering him. Usually a female from his hometown and he'd make out he didn't know how to block them etc.
At the start of the week I caught him messaging another women and rather than have a conversation he quickly panicked and blocked her. I carried on asking him why he's reacted like that. He then punished me by blocking me everywhere. I have contacted this women since and she's confirmed he's been playing us both and she said he's blocked her many times and blows hot and cold with her. She said she never knows what she's done.
He owes me money. So I sent him a message today as I noticed he unblocked me. But it seems I'm still half blocked on messenger as it stayed a white circle.
So I called his phone and got one ring and was cut off. He called me ten minutes later and said did you ring. I said I want to ask about the money. He said I'll pay you it back goodbye take care (sarcastically) and hung up.
So I sent him a message to say how rude and childish he was being. I bailed him out when he was skint and in return expect a little bit of respect. He was rude back so I then told him I knew about the other women and she had told me all I needed to know. I told him I was hurt because I have young children and by messing me around he was also prepared to mess them around.
He's sent half the money back today and now appears to have blocked my number. He then contacted the other women. She's contacted me to say he's threatening to tell her husband everything (turns out she's married) and it's just turned into a nasty drama because he's a player.
Currently feeling really sad. I've got to find a way to feel purpose in my life without him. I know it sounds pathetic but he really got inside my head and I think I cared far too much for him. I'm not sure how to repair myself. It's hard realising someone who claimed to love you was capable of being devious.
Anyone got any advice. I can't get into books or Tele. I can't think of anything positive to do this weekend. I don't know how to move forward.