to ban DD from watching Anime?

[SmellsLikeTeenBedroom]

My 11yo DD has just told me her group of friends (Y7) are into Anime. She has watched a couple of things they suggested and said she likes it.

This rings alarm bells for me. I've read bad things about anime: misoginistic, hyper-sexualised, pornograpgic, unhealthy body image, confusing messages about gender, furries.

However, I dont know nearly enough about this. I'm sure there must be good and bad anime (Pokemon etc) but is there a way of distinguishing (without watching every bloody video with her)? I'm inclined to just keep dd away from all of it, but maybe that's an overreaction.

I am not afraid to ban my dd from something all her friends are allowed, but feel like I need to be able to explain why, and at the moment I can't.

(Just to pre-empt any "just tell her its because I said so"/"you'rethe parent" responses: yes, obviously I know that, but if I'm creating a division between dd and the rest of her friendship group at a time when transition to secondary school and making friends has already been so disrupted, I need to know it's worth it)

For those saying Attack on Titan is ok - I found it incredibly gory and violent, I wouldn't want any 11 year old of mine watching it for a few years yet but I guess each to their own. That's a good example of a parent needing to watch an episode or two to decide for themselves what they're comfortable having their kids seeing.

Neon Genesis Evangelion the same - I watched it as an adult and loved it, but was shocked it's rated pg-13. There's a tonne of super disturbing imagery in there as well as very adult themes.

I do think sometimes the ratings get skewed younger because it's animation so it's seen as childish or less intense.

OP, a few things.

Firstly, as others have said 'anime' is just Japanese animation. A.k.a. cartoons.

So you have effectively asked 'should I ban my daughter from watching Japanese cartoons'.

To which the answer is obviously you should not ban her from watching the anime (cartoons) made for children/teens. Otherwise you would be saying 'you can't watch any cartoons if they've been made in Japan' which would be a weird and xenophobic thing to say.

Some cartoons are made for adults. Think south park, family guy, drawn together. These can be very rude/violent, so you probably do not want your 11 year old watching them.

Then you have cartoon porn. This can be found on porn sites but also pops up elsewhere. The anime version is called hentai. There is 'non-anime' cartoon porn too (e.g. made in the UK/US/Germany). However, presumably the existence of cartoon porn doesn't mean you have stopped your daughter from watching all cartoons in case one day SpongeBob Squarepants gets down and dirty.

Child friendly: Pokemon, Digimon, all Studio Ghibli films, Cardcaptors, Inuyasha, Dragonball, Beyblade

Teen (12/13+ really but won't do an 11 year old any harm): Fruits Basket, Ouran high school host club, Yuri on ice, blue exorcist, attack on Titan

Think your answer is to find out what she watches and check it yourself. Just google it, look at the rating.

Don’t ban the lot just because you don’t understand it. That attitude will cause you a lot of problems in this subject and in life in general ;)

Also to add - just because an anime series has kids as the main characters doesn't make it suitable for kids either. Neon Genesis again being a good example. This is really different from Western series - if you heard that an American cartoon series was about a group of 13/14 year olds, you'd think it was probably aimed at younger kids (like the harry potter books or something), but Japanese ones aren't necessarily - you have to check them out a bit more.

Ffs I misread and thought you said Annie. I did wonder what version you had seen

I would let her start with films from studio Ghibli, studio Ponoc (if you have Netflix they have some movies on there).

You could try Mamoru Hosoda movies like wolf children and the boy and the beast, Makoto Shinkai movies, family friendly and great for all ages.

Oh and a silent voice is a fab movie on Netflix!

For anime series you have sites like crunchyroll or funimstion, it’s a subscription service.

Our hero acadamia is a great one, along with dragon ball z (it’s a classic bit fantastic!), Eureka Seven, the little witch academy, flying witch, AnoHana is a sweet one and there’s plenty of slice of life shows like Barakamon.

Naruto is very popular one as well.

As you can tell we watch a lot of anime!

The best advice I can give you is to read what the show is about and have a look at the age rating.
If you google family friendly anime series there’s whole lists of shows that have no nudity, perverse jokes or violence/bad language.

I’m not sure banning it outright is even possible. She’s going to see it on someone else’s screen if you ban it on your house.

I dislike it intensely. My dc got into Pokemon which I wasn’t thrilled about. The gender roles are awful and the implications about how we treat animals are awful too. I try and open up discussions around these things but we’re quickly getting to the stage of heavy sighing because Mum is missing the point again!

Avatar was quite good I thought, but I wasn’t prepared for dd to come across porn for the first time searching for images of her favourite Avatar characters to draw. Really, really vile pictures. It broke my heart that that has been her first exposure to sex.

You have to be incredibly more vigilant than you imagine.

This is a useful selection of ratings from Commonsense Media
www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/anime-tv-for-teens-and-tweens
Netflix has a whole bunch of anime which will all have age ratings on it. If she sticks to that with age ratings ideally 12 and below but certainly no higher than 15 rather than random internet stuff she’ll not go too badly wrong.
But banning an entire genre is not good parenting.

My kids love anime , ghibli studio is a big hit just watch for age ratings

There are some fabulous anime out there. Maybe try and get her onto some movies like studio Ghibli and I want to eat your pancreas (which despite the weird name is a real tear jerker about teenage friendship and pancreatic cancer), then move onto the classics (Haruhi Suziymia, Ouran Highschool host club, death note, Angel beats, maybe even Black Butler), sports anime (Free! And yuri on ice), and a good slice of life (Kimi to Boku).

Oh, and Sailor Moon for a real classic.

Man that show gets a bad wrap, but I've been rewatching the dub lately and I actually think it's my favorite 90's sitcome. So far ahead of its time, and absolutely worth the hype.

DS and I have watched numerous anime series together since he was around 11 (he’s now 31!). We’ve seen some really good ones and they often have themes of friendship, family, not giving up on your goals, being kind. etc. Things that are good for young people to absorb. DS actually ended up doing a degree in Japanese and worked in Japan for a while. Try watching something with her, you may surprise yourself!

I got into anime recently as my 16 year old is into it and asked me to watch Attack on Titan. Bonding with a teen boy can be tricky as we don’t exactly share many interests so I agreed to watch. It's so SO good! We've started watching other ones together. We get up early so we have peace. It's been good for us. (It's a 15 so not suitable for your DD, not sexual stuff, just gory at times)

Obviously it's less an issue with an 11 year old as they mostly still think you’re great.

Don’t ban it. There's so many great shows that will be a good influence on your DD.

I’ve made a rec list of good anime that should be suitable for 11 year olds!

disastrous life of saiki k
love live!
the promised neverland (though the theme of this anime is that children are raised on a farm to be eaten by demons so if that’s not suitable by your standards just a heads up!)
death note
madoka magica
mew mew power
ouran highschool host club (this show is SO good)
lucky star
demon slayer

Howls Moving Castle and Kiki's Delivery Service are both age appropriate and brilliant and the other SG ones mentioned.

Oh Howls moving castle!

I used to love that film. Haven’t seen it in ages

My favourite was obviously Calciferol

Calcifer*

Death Note is not suitable for 11 year olds! Especially given the OP’s general stance on unsuitable content.

my 11 DD watches my hero academia yuri on ice sailor moon one about basketball it is fine I check history etc she hates kissing stuff and knows some is bad we chat about things so I know what she watches without watching everything

Spirited away is a good entry movie, properly on Netflix.

@ExcusesAndAccusations

Death Note is not suitable for 11 year olds! Especially given the OP’s general stance on unsuitable content.

but it’s such a classic! haha i think maybe i’m biased though as all my friends and i were obsessed with death note at that age 😅

I’m currently looking at my giant cuddly No Face :o

One series my two really like atm is Haikyuu, about volleyball

I’m not sure about Ouran High - I loved it and it was so funny but from what I remember there’s a fair bit of innuendo etc? About the twins especially. I might be wrong though, it’s years since I watched it

I have to say I understand how you feel. It is harder to know what is ok and what isn't when you aren't familiar with it. I know peppa pig is ok and family guy isn't because I am familiar with them. I'm not familiar with anime and I don't know the pointers to whether something is ok or not.

Thanks for all the helpful comments. I take the point about comparing it to South Park etc. I have not banned anything and would not do without looking into it first. Posting here was the first step in that, and its useful to hear different peoples perspectives. I'm a bit knee jerk with anything around body image/gender atm: DD just started at all girls school this year and it has been an eye-opener...

I understand that smellslike - have been through similar lately with my DD1. 💐
Hopefully she can start enjoying some new stuff to talk about with friends and will be equipped to avoid anything inappropriate.