Postnatal depression making me controlling

[Sunshine1996]

Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable and it’s only this morning it’s hit me. DD is 3 months old on Saturday. We had a rough start due to reflux and partner working 7 days a week. I’m anxious anyway but the crying all day really got to me.
Finally we have some sort of routine, take DD up for bath at 7. Then read a story, have a bottle and bed. I completely get that she probably won’t sleep through soon but since doing this she has slept through the night for a couple of weeks.
I feel like such a horrible person this morning because I snapped at my partner for cuddling her after her bottle because I was worried she wouldn’t settle if not being put straight down 😞 I have been controlling in other ways too like not wanting DD to nap past 6 and not wanting the tv on in the bedroom when doing her bedtime routine but I was just so fixed on trying to find ways to help DD’s sleep. Has anyone else felt like this and have any advice on how to relax a bit?

My son is 3, and when I returned to work part time, his Dad would look after him 2 days. I remember texting him from work making sure he hadn't napped for too long/had his nap too late etc. But if something 'went wrong' with naptime it added an extra 2 hours on to what time he would go to bed that night and it would take so much longer to settle him. I used to get quite stressed about it.

It probably is a bit controlling but who picks up the pieces if there's a problem? I'd have been really annoyed at a 4 hour bedtime.

If anything risked my chance of decent sleep I'd probably be a bit controlling too tbh

Thank you for your replies. That is true it was me picking up the pieces. It took DD an hour and a half to settle after being cuddled after her bottle and I found myself being so angry inside at my partner 😞 it makes me feel evil and in his words I am ‘pushing him away from his daughter’ but just last night has shown how much it does impact bedtime

I wouldn't want the TV on while I was doing a bedtime routine either. Many new parents, depressed or not, are a bit controlling with their first baby's routine, especially if sleep is an issue. We all look back with our seconds and smile a bit, but that's ok, it's normal and you're doing your best.

Do you have someone to talk to? It must be very hard for you all right now

Does he ever do bedtime routine?

@Sunshine1996

It may be an unlucky coincidence for your partner that the time he cuddled her she took longer to settle. Tonight he may cuddle her and she fall straight asleep!

Your partner is working 7 days and you won’t let him cuddle his daughter?

I get that you want routine but he also needs to bond with his child.

If he is refusing to be involved in the bedtime routine then YANBU

If you are not letting him be part of that routine then YABU