To wish I’d bought an expensive pram?

[pramenvy20]

Before I had my baby I looked at the price of prams and thought how silly it was to spend that amount, and I bought a second hand one.

I regret it now so much. I saw a woman yesterday just park, get the frame from the boot and attach her car seat to it without disturbing her baby. No fuss or faff!

Mine is fine so I’ll probably vote that I am BU because I am ... but I wish I’d bought a really lovely pram!

I also bought secondhand but I got the exact brand and model I couldn't afford new, I got a really excellent condition icandy peach will accessories for £250 - can't you do that?
It was perfect and I loved mine

But your know ‘stuff’ is also what makes it harder

A fancy changing bag, sure get whatever you like, but 99% of these are so huge people end up filling them to the brim. If your struggling out the car with huge bag, keys, purse etc, you have way too much stuff. Your in a car, keep extra spares in small bag in boot incase of emergency, and then you can just take a bag half the size, that fits babies stuff, you keys and purse and your hands free to not struggle

A pram is a pram. Get one for your lifestyle. £1000 is generally not needed. If your pram is new but ex display, and sounds like baby is less than 1 year old, it really shouldn’t be stift, squeaky and hard to fold up. If it is take it back as faulty. Doesn’t matter it it was 50p- £500. The price isnt the issue here.

Car seat on pram is a nightmare after tiny newborn stage. Car seat is about 5kg, baby then 5-10kg+ as they grow. Lifting 15kg on and off your pram and in out car every day will kill your back. That’s like a very heavy suitcase weight.

I don’t often bother taking the bag if I’m just nipping in and out of a shop. I don’t think car keys and a purse is too much stuff!

It's not so much the second hand that's the issue it's the make/model of pram you have gone for? You can pick up expensive models second hand on lots of resale sites - seems to
Me you just picked the wrong one??🤷‍♀️

I found a good compromise. I found a web site that sells new prams and tri-systems but in last season's colours for about 40% of the price.

Also just swap your pram for something else. I do t get why you can’t afford to. If pram cost £200, just sell it for £200 and buy another one for less than £200. You won’t be out of pocket then. Something that folds fast and light into car will help loads.

I do think there's a weirdness about prams, as if its a lot of money for something you use for such a small amount of time. But then those full systems usually turn into a buggy, so unless you are someone who drives everywhere, you'll use it- or part of it - every day for 2.5 years. That takes the cost per use (assuming you use it only once each day) to around £1.30 for the super posh system, and that presumes you don't have a 2nd child to use it with.

Theres often an underlying sneering at spending money on things that will predominantly make woman's lives better. The buggy / pram system you have makes your life just a bit harder, you could afford a better one that suits you better - its ok to realise now you have a baby, the system you have doesn't work for you.

Sell on the one you have and buy something better suited to your family life. That could be 2nd hand too (or buy most of the system 2nd hand and then buy a new car seat to go with).

Dont suffer for years because you made the wrong choice before you realised what would be best for you.

Pramenvy, I think lots of people feel like you do. You know it’s a bit daft, but you can’t help feeling like it all really matters a lot.

I didn’t do the ‘baby’s first year’ book thing with photos of the milestones etc. I didn’t buy one, no-one else bought me one and to be honest, keeping up with it would have tipped me over the edge. Some people at the time showed theirs and I felt very sad I wasn’t doing it and a bit second rate as a parent as my child would never see that book of their first year. Lots of years later, I couldn’t give a toss. But I know that book will still being pleasure to lots of parents.

It is funny when you think you’re the kind of parson who isn’t materialistic and doesn’t care about all the new stuff and who is interested in the environment....and then still you really hanker after all the stuff. I found I switched my interest from new clothes for me and stuff for the house to baby gear - it was a new buying project if you like. And now friends talked about baby gear and not their new sofa or new car. We talked about weaning products, and baby books and potty systems (honestly what’s a potty system and how can it cost £50 or more) and then first shoes, and then push along toys and then scooters and the best wellies for 2 year olds, and then toys for teaching numbers and colours, and then the best balance bike and whether tumble tots or monkey madness was best for physical development, and which toddler group served organic fruit and which ones served biscuits. And then it was into catchment areas and when you needed to move house by....and it just goes on. Hormones in the early stages might be responsible for a lot of it.

This is the problem when you have a thread in active. People just jump in.

I’m good I was having a fairly lighthearted thread and chat, not really looking for pram advice - but thanks. Please don’t infer I’m an idiot ivf.

I had a cheap travel system that was easy to push in the shop but awful on pavements. I sold it practically new and only got £50 for it. Got a Bugaboo Cameleon on ebay for half price, it was good as new. Loved it as easy to push, I'd recommend it if you walk a lot. It's not great for cars as harder to dismantle so a lighter stroller would be better.

If I did it again, I'd get a Bugaboo second hand. I would have got most of the money back if I'd sold after first baby. Very glad it wasn't brand new though, latest baby is a muddy monster and the fabric constantly needs washing.

What about something like this

www.argos.co.uk/product/7517084

@WombatChocolate for me it wasn’t “best for baby” cos I felt that was covered by research and choosing the product even if second hand. It was more the fleeting experience of a first time mum and how you’ll never do that again, you only do it once. So in years gone by my story will be “I was running around snapping up Facebook bargains”, rather than “ tinkly laugh oh yes I was silly in the shop and went crazy”.

Like you said it’s consumerism driving desire!

Purse and keys isn’t too much stuff. But you said it was a struggle to balance everything with baby. So if they are an issue, just make sure they are in small handbag you can wear across body hands free before your even attempt to sort baby or pram out. Then you won’t be so flustered

It was definitely hormones for me wombat, I just said to someone in a PM I think a lockdown baby plus for me a difficult birth and problems breastfeeding meant my hormones were crazy and I felt very much like I hadn’t done it “right.” Which is stupid as there’s no way of doing it right and some four months later I know that. I still have pram envy though!

YANBU. I think of all the baby things to invest in a really good expensive pram is one of the best. You’re going to use it nearly every day so it doesn’t make sense to cheap out.

caspian maybe just relax a bit, it’s not a big deal?

When I had a baby 5 years ago I bought a second hand Pram for £200 but they sold for £1000 new
It was very clean and no one knew it was second hand plus it was the type you could buy new aprons and hoods for so I bought a couple of brand new hoods and it was like new! It's a very famous brand that they sell everywhere

Oh @WombatChocolate yes you totally get it! Because I didn’t get to do the newborn gear, I’m totally throwing myself into kitting out baby room now (still with bargains though )

@WombatChocolate I don't know what a potty system is either.

OP, it's easy to make mistakes when buying a pram, you don't know what you need until you are using it and then it's too late. I did the same as you. It's hard because they are one of the bigger purchases when having a baby, and you feel you need to get it right the first time. Don't worry too much about the car seat attachment, they only really get used in the first few months.

Theres often an underlying sneering at spending money on things that will predominantly make woman's lives better.

I totally agree with this. You’d get far more support on here if you wanted to spend tens of thousands on a Range Rover.

We were offered a pram from our PILs for dc1, so I chose a fairly cheap one, also around the £200 mark. It was actually pretty good. But I felt like you when I saw mums at the park with those beautiful Stokke ones etc.

The cheap pram was a bit knackered by the time we had dc2, so we found an Uppababy Vista secondhand from eBay. It was ridiculously cheap. Luckily we knew someone who lived near the seller, so they could go and collect it. We cleaned it up and it was great, but again, it got a bit knackered and the folding button etc went. But it was good while it lasted. I bought a running buggy last year for dc2, which is nice. It's called a Hauck Runner I think. It's all terrain, 3 wheel etc and not expensive.

So we have gone through 3 prams for 2 DCs! Stupid really. I should have just bought one amazing pram and made it last, but it didn't occur to me when we had dc1 as we were pretty isolated and didn't realise what a big purchase the pram is!

That said, I used a sling a lot for dc1 as we lived in a flat with no lift, so it made sense.

Pramenvy, well why don’t you do some research on second hand versions of the pram you’d love.

If you think you’ll love that pram and it will bring you huge pleasure, ask your parents or someone else for an advance on your next birthday or Christmas if that will make it happen. Second hand shouldn’t mean it costs nearly so much.

And perhaps you don’t need the very newborn parts now anyway which will further save money.

If it matters so much to you, then look to find a way to indulge yourself on this one. Perhaps choose other areas you won’t indulge over, but if this is the one that plays on your mind, allow yourself this thing. Everything doesn’t have to be purely functional and the cheapest version available. When you let yourself splash out on one or two areas (npbut not all) they often give vast pleasure and far more than if you have the very best of absolutely everything, I find. It’s just a case of picking the thing that really does matter to you.

Lots on here say they did splash out and later regretted it. In the end, the pram wasn’t what gave them vast pleasure, often because of limited use. Others say it had limited use but they still loved it. At this point, you probably know that this is the thing you’d really love....so save in other areas and go for it, even if some time has already passed. Get in and start looking today and you could have your new secondhand pram with your baby in it, in less than a week. Do something about it an d make it happen.

I get it, it's impossible to know what would be best before the baby is born / what would suit your particular set up so I think some element of buyer's regret is inevitable. I didn't have it with pushchairs but with other things definitely. To be honest I think whatever pushchair I had I would still have looked flustered in the first six months or so!

But one amazing pram would have cost more than all three of ours, thinking about it...

First pram...£200ish. Secondhand pram £30. Hauck Runner under £150 I think... so less than £400 for all three! Sling was £40ish. A Sleepy Nico, which I really recommend btw and probably got more use than the pram with dc1 until she was at nursery and too big for sling, but too little to walk there and back.

Why do I need to relax? Your the one who said you have an issue with pram, car seat, and getting flustered compared to some other random women parked next to you. People are then, based on what you said, giving advice...