To be frustrated with DS 18... sleeping in the day and up all night on XBOX

[Aperole]

It’s driving me mad , at first i was happy he was talking to his mates , and socialising , but now I feel it’s getting too much

He’s has just 2 x online uni lectures per week , he’ll sometimes help around the house /mow the lawn, DH gets him out for a dog walk every day and he’ll go out with his sister for a walk/bike ride prob once a week

But generally he is asleep a lot of the day, he has no ‘get up and go’, his room is a pigsty and he showers only once poss twice a week - which also frustrates me

But AIBU ,,, should i chill out given the dreadful year his age group have had ,,? plus he goes back to his uni halls after Easter ....

I’m so hoping he can have a better experience for the last part of his first year at uni !

Welcome to my world

He’s fine, he’s out for a walk every day, his body clock is different to yours that’s all.

Chill out, be thankful you know where he is, he does a bit of helping out and goes out with his sister. It’s only a small timeframe in the grand scheme of things and he will change from this annoying phase.

Now, if only I could take my own advice! Ds is 17 and doing much the same - I’m starting to realise the above advice!

Not sure how much “get up and go” you’re expecting him to have in the middle of a lockdown? I wouldn’t stress most teens and adults will be the same.

Other than the X box and lack of showers, your DS sounds like me OP - and I'm an OAP!
Some of us are larks and some of us are owls.

I'd shut the door of the room (unless there's biohazard like food) and tell him when he smells and leave the rest.

Is he a nice kid? You sound like a nice mum so I assume he is.

You pay for the internet? Shut it off at night

Hes 18. Sounds exactly like my 18 year old. Why on earth is he "driving you mad", as not sure how his body clock impacts you?

sounds like you’re describing me haha

Of course I am being the mean one. I had to do that with our son. My husband works and he can’t handle the noise at night. I told him that he need sleep

It impact my husband because he is a light sleeper. My son doesn’t do his part on keeping the house clean when he sleeps all day (if he does it at night, it wait my daughter and husband up and they have school and work. I can totally understand why it is driving you mad

If it's keeping you up at night then YANBU to be annoyed, but if it's not I'd cut him a bit of slack. There's not much for 18 year olds to do right now.

I'd be insisting he showers every day though, that's grim!

He's a student. He would be doing exactly the same thing in halls, you just wouldn't know about it.

If it's disturbing everyone else, then do something like turn off the WiFi. But if not leave him to it.

What uni course is he doing with so little work?

If this was a permanent thing with no end in sight I’d be pretty pissed off and expecting him to find a job - when I was 18 and doing 3 A levels I worked 25 hours in a bar as well. Most adults have to work as well as studying and it’s a good skill to learn especially if he seems to have a lot of free time! But - as he’s returning to Uni shortly I think you just have to let him get on with it.

If he's doing all his assignments for uni and putting good effort into them, then I don't see an issue.

But if he doesn't appear to be doing much/any uni work, then I'd be telling him to get a part time job.

I wouldn't be bothered tbh.