Is it ok to spend a night sleeping away from baby?

[CatherineTheGr8]

My baby is 8mo formula fed (after lengthy breast feeding dramas). I'm knackered and fatigued from lockdown, as is everyone. My DH suggested we each have 1 might a week when we sleep in another room (on the sofa), in order to get a proper nights sleep. We normally alternate baby night feeds - we are both at home at the moment. We are normally together in one room with baby.

So tonight is my first night on the sofa and away from my baby since she was born. My DH will look after her and I might get a good nights sleep...?

I feel I miss her and my DH and that I'm a bad mum for sleeping in another room away from them. Am I right or do I need to have a word with myself?

Your baby will be fine. You’re not a bad mum at all. Try and get some rest!

I have a 16 week old baby who is breast fed. Best my third and very treasured. For the last few week my hisbt and I take turns to sleep in the spare room next to our bedroom. Wje. My husband is in with him he brings me the baby when he's nwoken for a feed. I sleep much better away from the baby as he makes a lot of noise in his sleep and also has white noise which disturbs me. Happy mum = happy baby. Of you need rest then get some rest. Your baby's daddy is there to respond if needed. You have nothing to feel bad about. X

Have a word with yourself - you’re still in the same house, that’s not even a proper night away! A baby should have its needs attended to by a parent - your baby has that.

You’re in the same house! Honestly you need some rest, so make the most of it.

It’s fine.
You’re in the same house.
I though you were going to say you were 500 miles away

My god don’t feel guilty! You’re in the same house anyway so how is it a night away?

Seriously? Lots of people move babies into their own rooms as soon as they are 6m. In fact most people I knew in real life moved them sooner.

(To add moving them into a room on their own pre 6m is not recommended under current guidance).

You might be a better mum on more sleep!

Thank you, yes you are obviously right. Think I'm emotional and it's been weird having baby in Covid as she hasn't ever met any other people and we've had no other support, so I think I've become v attached. I do need sleep though!

Give your head a wobble, this is a brilliant idea and will do all of you, including baby the world of good. Enjoy xx

You should each have a night in another room a week. Your baby is in a loving home with a loving adult. I thought you and your partner were going away on holiday together and leaving the baby with a relative/sitter which would have also been acceptable. But sleeping in another room in the same house, it goes without saying is fine. Nice for baby to have both parents meeting their needs. You are over thinking it you are literally 5 seconds away.

Yes you need to have a word with yourself! But in all seriousness, I do understand your anxiety. But your baby will be fine.
Enjoy your well earned and deserved rest.

Yeah I was doing this at two months let alone 8 (not breastfed). He was my third and I love him dearly but I needed to sleep. As do you.

Thanks Mumsnet 💕

I feel a bit guilty now.

In hospital when I gave birth, they took my twins away at nighttime (I'd had a c-section).
Then my first night home from hospital, I had a maternity night-nurse stay over, while I slept separately upstairs.

It didn't enter my head to feel bad, since that was my normal - that I look after them during the day, and a nurse at night.
(Obviously I also did loads of nights myself after that too).

@sunnydaleslayer

Yeah I was doing this at two months let alone 8 (not breastfed). He was my third and I love him dearly but I needed to sleep. As do you.

This! Hell I was going out partying after a couple of months (though, in hindsight, I really should have been using the time to catch up on sleep). Get a good night's rest OP!

Just look after yourself and that means finding a way to get a proper sleep. I remember the utter hell of no sleep

She’ll be fine. Her dad is with her!

Enjoy your sleep x

To be the best Mum you can you need to be as rested as possible.

What's been suggested is a good idea.

It's just temporary and will change as your baby's needs change.

Nothing to be guilty about whatsoever!

Have a great sleep

I expected from the title that you intended to have a night in a hotel! Why not put the baby in its own room? I honestly can't fathom this obsession of having a child in your room until they're 21!

We did this, DH used to take DS into the spare room on a Friday and a Saturday night, it meant I was able to function, I remember getting up one Saturday morning and cleaning the bathroom within an inch of it's life, DH said bloody hell where did that energy come from, and I heard myself reply you can do anything on a good nights sleep. That was twenty years ago and I can still remember how well I felt with a decent nights sleep under my belt.

My twins spent one night in our room and the rest in their own room with a video baby monitor and bottle feeds throughout the night.

They are 15 now.

Me and DP have done alternate nights with 6 month old DD since 4 months and before that we split the night- I'm so much better able to deal with her all day when I know I'm getting a full night's sleep and it benefits us both. Do not feel guilty at all, just enjoy your rest.

Oh goodness, it’s fine. I spend most nights sleeping away from my baby (my husband sleeps in the room with him) because I can’t sleep through the noise he makes. It was that or literally never sleep! Your baby will be absolutely fine