Marriage or Mortgage AIBU?

[Pepperminttea16]

New series on Netflix, marriage or mortgage where couples have to decide whether they want to spend their life savings on a wedding or a deposit for a house.

AIBU to think this is no contest and mortgage is obviously the right choice here? I can’t imagine having £30k in the bank and blowing it all on a big party rather than getting some stability and making an investment...if you wanted to get married that badly surely you could just go small or do it in a few years...some of them do choose marriage though!

I mean if you have saved 30k in a couple of years you can just save it again, it isn’t entirely one or the other it is just a case of which one first.

I would prefer to be married before I bought a house with somebody, but that doesn’t mean I would spend my entire £30k savings on a wedding.

I agree I just can’t understand why you would ever have the big wedding before you had somewhere to live

Mortgage every time but for me marriage is about the vows and commitment not the whole big day. I’d be very disappointed if my children blew thousands on a big party rather than future security be it a mortgage or just savings for a rainy day.

Mortgage. I can't believe anyone would choose the other option.

Priority should be the mortgage. It’s a total no brainer.

DH and I prioritised a mortgage. I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t? It’s a no brainer if one or the other would use all of your savings.
I suppose maybe you could have a relatively cheap wedding first.

A friend at work spent more than 20k on their wedding a couple of years ago rather than a house deposit, so people definitely do it in real life!

I agree! We got a mortgage first and could only afford to get married 7 years later once we'd saved for It.

We got married just after spending 30 grand on home improvements, new bathroom, underfloor heating. We had registry office wedding, 2 guests, got a takeaway on the way home, cost less than 300 pounds. Being married, DH saves lots of money on tax. So it's possible to have both.

Like most things, most people wouldn't have to decide one or the other.

You would use £25K as deposit on a house, and £5K on a very lovely wedding as a very reasonable compromise.

House. The marriage only has to cost £300 (I can’t remember the exact price for intentions to marry and then the ceremony)

Unless you are seriously rich, I don't understand why anyone would spend this on a wedding party! Have a cheap marriage and buy a house.

I turned it off after 10 mins! Agree there is no contest, and the wedding venue they were showing wasn't even nice!

Well the question isn’t marriage or mortgage, it’s expensive wedding or mortgage isn’t it? (not got quite the same ring though).

We bought a house and got married, but our wedding cost approx £700 because it was about the marriage, not the wedding day.

But it’s the Americans we’re talking about here

I’ve watched a few episodes and it’s about 70% weddings at the moment!

I bought a flat, then had a big wedding.

Technically I could have had a small wedding and bought a house instead I suppose, but life is too short!

I'd probably still buy a little something before the wedding though.

Plus, I presume you think differently if, as a couple, you were able to save £30K in a year.

That is quite different from couples who are only able to put aside £200 per month.

A wedding can be very inexpensive. It’s much wiser in the long run to own a house. The traditional order is best: marriage, then mortgage. Children should come after marriage, even if already expecting. First babies come anytime: the rest take nine months.

If you've been to a wedding at a hotel with around 100 guests, it probably did cost in the region if £20k though. Not something I personally had, but my brother and sister both did. Wedding packages for the hotel tend to start at £4k+, photographer is 1k, wedding dresses about 1k etc and it soon adds up. Whether it's value or not, that's what things cost and I don't think it's unusual to want a wedding with family and friends, certainly it's what many, many of my university friends had. (Scotland northern England, not the South East)

We got married one year and bought a house the next year. We knew we could save it all again pretty quickly. Wedding was worth it :)