Children Are So Irritating

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

LIGHTHEADED KLAXON

Am I sure I want one? I mean it’s a bit late because I’m three months pregnant, not by accident or anything, I did do it on purpose. I am also a nanny.

But I’m sitting in the park while one of my charges plays football. I got a coffee, and went to the cottage-garden type bit where they have hanging bird feeders. I was enjoying the lovely spring day sounds.

Within minutes lots of parents and children (ok, six children) turned up, and the let the children loose. No pigeon is safe. They are brandishing sticks. They are lobbing bits of gravel. They are shrieking. They are blundering through low-lying shrubbery. They are pushing each other over and crying. The parents occasionally whine ‘Sophia, Jacob, stop it’ intermittently but in a way you might say ‘oh it’s raining’

There is a HUGE adventure playground in this park so I don’t know why the shrubs and gravel gardens are holding so much appeal.

I’ve been a nanny for ten years and I’ve never let any children terrorise pigeons. Just why? If mine shriek for no good reason they’re told sharply to stop it. They have a freer range in actual child-dedicated play areas, obviously. They aren’t allowed to brandish sticks in each other’s faces.

I know it’s not the children’s fault really but oh it’s irritating!

braces self for cries of ‘you don’t own the park you know!’ And ‘they’re just being children! They’ve been locked up for months!

Other peoples children are fucking horrible, in the main.

Don't forget that other people will think that about your children too OP, no matter how great you think you're going to be as a parent!

The thing I used to find most intensely annoying generally was whining. Could never stand it even from my own. ‘Talk properly!’

Unless they did, I would (usually) ignore them.

A friend’s dd hardly ever spoke normally - ‘whine speech’ had become a habit. Just as well I didn’t see them very often because it made me itch to have a major go. Her mother never said a word.

Yeah, I’ve said ‘sorry, I don’t speak in whine’ to the kids I’ve nannied for more times than I can count! A lot of the time their parents didn’t seem to mind it. I remember the completely NT 9 year old who spoke in baby-tongue. ‘Mummy wummy want cuddle, me want milk’ kind of behaviour even when out in public. The mum thought it was sweet

I'm not fond of other peoples children, especially after today! Did the school run with DSD and a boy booted a ball which hit my one year old straight in the head, she was strapped in the pram so thankfully didn't fall over but she was crying. The boy ran to his parents and the bloody parents said fuck all! Not even a sorry. Twats

I hate the chasing pigeons and picking flowers, makes me mad. I never let my 4 year old torment the birds or pick flowers, she's been taught to respect animals and that flowers are for looking at.
We went to an old house with some beautiful gardens last summer and also saw kids racing through the flower beds and jumping over low hedges, why?! Why didn't their parents stop them!

Oh you would hate my ds 2 lol. He chases pigeons as he is fascinated that they can fly and he will walk through flowers without realising. I'm like a hawk though and tell him constantly we have to be gentle with animals and flowers. I distract him away from flowerbeds, dogs and pigeons avoiding those during our walks.

I have mine on reigns most of the time as he is really wild and has no self control even in the park he will have his reigns on so I can pull him away easily from the swings and pushing other children off the climbing frame. Last thing I need is getting into a fight with another parent because my toddler wants to be friendly but can't control his friendly pat which feels like a catastrophic slap or if he wants to go on the slide in case he pushes another kid off than I can pull him away and tell him to wait for his turn. My daily exercise is trying to keep my son and other kids safe, it works every muscle on my body from pulling, carrying, running and stretching through the play frame trying to pull him away from pushing and shoving other kids.

Your right kids are irritating at times.
Even your own.
But I do like mine way more than other peoples.
Mine are awesome mostly.
Unless I’m arguing with a smaller version of myself and losing.

Whinging and whining is the thing I hate the most.
Mine know the answer is “I can hear you but I don’t speak whine and whinge. So talk to me when you remember your words”

Just been in the supermarket and two little darlings running riot pulling stuff off shelves screaming while gormless mother and grandmother ignore them. Ffs! Be a parent !

@MrsSugar

I feel your pain. My neighbour has 2 who only seem to be able to talk by constantly shrieking, screaming and terrorising their dog. Does my tits right in. When me and my siblings were kids my mum would bollock us for screaming for no reason lol

When we were kids we were only allowed to scream if there was bones though flesh. Mum was a nurse.

I like reminding parents who let their kids pick daffodils that they are poisonous to humans with mock horror

@scarredhere

Oh you would hate my ds 2 lol. He chases pigeons as he is fascinated that they can fly and he will walk through flowers without realising. I'm like a hawk though and tell him constantly we have to be gentle with animals and flowers. I distract him away from flowerbeds, dogs and pigeons avoiding those during our walks.

I have mine on reigns most of the time as he is really wild and has no self control even in the park he will have his reigns on so I can pull him away easily from the swings and pushing other children off the climbing frame. Last thing I need is getting into a fight with another parent because my toddler wants to be friendly but can't control his friendly pat which feels like a catastrophic slap or if he wants to go on the slide in case he pushes another kid off than I can pull him away and tell him to wait for his turn. My daily exercise is trying to keep my son and other kids safe, it works every muscle on my body from pulling, carrying, running and stretching through the play frame trying to pull him away from pushing and shoving other kids.

I feel your pain DS2 went through a stage of what I termed " Aggressive drive by hugging "

Good lord that was exhausting and I spent so long trying the explain the difference between a hug and a head lock.

Plus have you ever tried to find a child centric way to explain consent for hugging and touching to a 3 year old with tasmanian devil genetics? That was a really long few months

He's got it now thank goodness but I get odd looks when he yells to me " I asked them for consent mum" as he is hugging a classmate I look like a giant woke dick , little do they know I saved them from a flying leap headlock from a small boy flying through the air yelling " I lllooooooove yooooouuu". Which was disturbing for the postman.

I don't tell unfamiliar kids off, but I will always talk to them about their behaviour. "If you were stuck inside a cage, how would you feel about people shouting at you all day long?" "If you pick those flowers, how are other people going to be able to enjoy them?" That gets a much better response from kids and also their parents can't get cross with you (and might also be forced to think about the repercussions of their children's behaviour...)

Its the parents that get me.

I had my rescue dog on a short lead right next to me walking a long a wide path in a huge park. A toddler toddled over with his hand right out to my dog’s face, ready to touch. I put my hand in front of my dog and said “no, please don’t touch him” to the toddler. I was probably a bit firm with a child that’s not mine but I’m hyper aware of being a responsible dog owner. Toddler started to scream blue murder. Mother had a go at me - she was about 10 metres away and had just watched it happen. Surely, she’d rather I intervened at that point than let it get to a point where the toddler had been barked at?or worse? I don’t want any child to be bitten or barked at, and mostly I don’t want to be forced to put my dog down.

I am fairly sure my dog would be ok with the toddler but I don’t know 100% as he’s a rescue and we don’t have small children in our family.

In that same park I’ve had a child throw a rock at the same dog whilst I was sitting on a bench eating a sandwich. That time I lost my rag unfortunately and did shout at the child asking what the hell they thought they were doing? I was furious.

I'm with you 1000% OP!

Before my kids, I found 50% of kids sweet, 50% annoying. Since mine, I find 99% of kids annoying.

When I run into the 1%, I want to adopt them!

Babies, toddlers, with all their demands and neediness.....bring it on. Because......they turn into teenagers...the most irritating, annoying, jumped up, entitled, rude challenging hormonal beasts from the deep, no matter how good a parent you are!!!

@Shinyletsbebadguys your past made me ACTUALLY laugh out loud I was thinking this earlier OP - I was thinking about whether or not I want a second child and concluded that whilst I love love love my dd, one is plenty!

@HotSteppa nice to hear that you let your children partake in animal cruelty for fun hmm why stop at simply letting them run into a crowd of harmless birds? Why not let them chuck handfuls of gravel at them too? Maybe kill or seriously harm a couple of them?
It is not 'animal cruelty' when a child runs at pigeons. The birds fly off, they regroup. The child is not harming them, and it is a wild jump to suggest that the same child will progress to throwing gravel at them. I have seen lots of young children run at birds but I have never seen a single child throw anything at them. To suggest that a child would kill or seriously harm a pigeon is ridiculously, completely over the top.

@Shinyletsbebadguys 😂😂😂 I really want to fast forward this year so badly so I can be in your position right now where I have managed his impulse control issues 😖 he is so so strong and I recognise that I have a lot of work to do with him to control these urges and continue working with him and watching him like a hawk. Hopefully this time next year it will all pay off and I can just sit on the bench and watch him where he behaves like a civilised child and plays gently and understands boundaries. Like the pp, I am no longer considering a second baby for this reason of course minus the sleepless nights and tantrums...One is plenty 😅

You still shouldn’t let them chase pigeons! Its unnecessary and cruel, animals aren’t there for your child’s entertainment! Even if they are only pigeons.

It sends a horrendous message to the child that chasing animals and causing them distress is acceptable and fun. Big fat nope from me.

The biggest shock for me is just how long you have to pretend to enjoy boring games for, it sets my teeth on edge!

Ignore cries of "you think you won't parent like that now but you'll change your mind" - i had loads of that and I am very firm and no means no. No little darling of mine is going to chase pigeons or pick planted flowers! Doesn't mean you can't still be fun!

@KarenMarlow3 cheers for your input on this, and glad to hear you support kids being little twats towards harmless creatures too 👍

@Carolina24

I very rarely judge other parents, but one of my exceptions is when a child is screaming - proper toe-curling, blood curdling screams - in a park (not a play park, but a country park for instance) and the parents do absolutely nothing about it. I’m sure they’re worn down by the battle, but it’s monumentally selfish to allow your children to ruin the atmosphere for everyone because you don’t have the energy or inclination to parent them.

Maybe they are ignoring them on purpose to stop the tantrum? For toddlers anyway. It's a tactic

I hesitate to break the illusion that it changes because goodness knows we need something to hold on to but I don't think I've ever sat happily (and without stress) while they play on the park.

The drive by affection has been dealt with but my DC are the definition of " Look mum no hands " as I leap forward with the grace of Mr bean to throw myself under them before they break something. Ok that might be extreme but actually has hapoened in the monkey bars incident of 2019 when they teamed up. I spend most of my life repeating

No ds1 you can't jump off the top of the pyramid

Yes ds2 thats a lovely dog...no remember we stay calm and quiet because you are bigger than them

No ds1 you can't swim in the duck pond...no it doesn't count if you pretend you are a duck...yes that includes if you actually start quacking.

To be fair though they are hilarious , I spend the other half of my time trying not to laugh.

DS2 was always planned to be the last dc....which is a very good thing because after these two I can't imagine wanting another. My logic is two dc, two arms to restrain from trying to find whatever can kill them and run straight towards it .

Oh god, and I genuinely don’t mean this sarcastically, please will you come and live with me when I have children? Because after five years of a step child and suddenly being around other people’s children I’m only half way to being good as STOP IT! and I do not want to be the pigeon terror parent.