Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To offer you my top tip for an angst free Mother's Day

25 replies

TheWarbler · 11/03/2021 10:32

If you want to receive something or °do^ something on Sunday TELL YOUR DH/DP and DC NOW.

Don't set them up to fail. Don't be a martyr. Do it!

Other tips welcome though mine will be the best

OP posts:
Mistlewoeandwhine · 11/03/2021 10:35

Yes. My DH is on the autistic spectrum so I literally have to tell him everything or it won’t happen.

LactoseTheIntolerant · 11/03/2021 10:35

I completely agree op! I actually reminded both dh and both ds' last week that it was mother's day next Sunday and not to forget. It sounds pushy but I do all the organising for Xmas/ birthdays etc and this is the one day when I feel they need to make a bit of effort for me!

TeenMinusTests · 11/03/2021 10:36

I was so organised reminding DH that I nearly got a card last Sunday. Smile

starfish88 · 11/03/2021 10:47

My DS is only 1 so I ordered my present myself. DH won't remember but when he realizes he forgot he will probably get us a takeaway! I did make sure he ordered flowers for his mum though.

EvilOnion · 11/03/2021 10:48

Agreed.

DH has been told that he's organising and making dinner on Sunday - that's all I want 🤣

EvilOnion · 11/03/2021 10:50

I should add that DH does do 50:50 on all the other household/childcare jobs but I do all the meal planning/cooking as I finish work earlier so it would be nice not to have to do that!

SleepySlugs · 11/03/2021 10:51

Agreed. I told do exactly what I wanted, I then had to tell him to wrap it and get a card too. Otherwise I'd just have been given it in the Amazon box.

MuddleMoo · 11/03/2021 10:51

YANBU don't assume they are mind readers!

Cocomarine · 11/03/2021 10:54

What if the reason you would be upset at nothing on Sunday, is because you’re upset that your husband doesn’t value you enough to bother? In which case, having to tell him doesn’t take away the upset - you can just be upset that you had to tell him today.

So my top tip is - if your husband knows you like something to be done, and can’t be bothered to do it without a reminder - then have a wee think about whether he’s worth your time at all.

Original poster
TheWarbler · 11/03/2021 11:31

What if the reason you would be upset at nothing on Sunday, is because you’re upset that your husband doesn’t value you enough to bother?"

Personally, I'd be happy not to bother with Mother's Day. I think it's a pile of tosh and would be worried if I needed one day out of 365 to be shown I was valued.

But ...judging by threads year after year on MN, it matters to many people. A lot. So tell your people what you want and if even then they can't be bothered, consider LTB.

OP posts:
MuddleMoo · 11/03/2021 11:38

@TheWarbler

What if the reason you would be upset at nothing on Sunday, is because you’re upset that your husband doesn’t value you enough to bother?"

Personally, I'd be happy not to bother with Mother's Day. I think it's a pile of tosh and would be worried if I needed one day out of 365 to be shown I was valued.

But ...judging by threads year after year on MN, it matters to many people. A lot. So tell your people what you want and if even then they can't be bothered, consider LTB.

And get it written into your parenting agreement that they have to help the children with mother's day Wink
Mrsjayy · 11/03/2021 11:41

Top tip Smile. My DC are adults but when they were little DH would organise them i sometimes had to remind him sometimes not but i think it is important for children to be "helped* to do mother's Day I cringe when I read on here "well you are not his mother" when a card hasn't been presented and a mum is upset.

Squidthing · 11/03/2021 11:45

My top tip is to order your DP to bring you a cup of tea or coffee before the kids start putting together breakfast. Otherwise it can be a long wait for that first cuppa of the day.

Original poster
TheWarbler · 11/03/2021 11:46

Top tip: don't be snotty if he wants to see his mum on Mother's Day you don't have to go

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 11/03/2021 11:47

DH has been told that he's organising and making dinner on Sunday - that's all I want 🤣

This is what we have always done he organised Sunday dinner I don't really care what it is as long as I didn't have to cook it.

SenecaTrewe · 11/03/2021 11:51

Easier just to disregard the whole charade entirely. I don't need a card or some tacky piece of landfill on any day of the year, let alone such a forced one.

Original poster
TheWarbler · 11/03/2021 19:02

Top tip: tell 'em NOW as Mother's Day is early this year!

OP posts:
gracelessladyhottramp · 11/03/2021 19:21

Ha!! Love this advice!!! I'm definitely in your camp op!!

RJnomore1 · 11/03/2021 19:26

Top tip : stop facilitating grown adults acting like gormless teenagers.

Honestly if it matters to you and he doesn’t do anything about it, he’s a dick. If you have to remind him because he doesn’t care enough to remember, he’s a dick.

If you want something very specific then fair enough to tell him what those is.

Special note : this applies to ALL celebrations and wanting to feel like you matter enough for someone to actually put some bloody effort into you does not make you a demanding princess.

Bonus tip: lazy ass men are not funny nor are they attractive.

WaltzesWithSnobs · 11/03/2021 22:52

Meh, maybe I'm just in a bad mood but I cba this year. I'm sick of having to arrange my own celebrations or else nothing gets done. If I do recieve anything nice (flowers/hug/kind words) on Sunday then I will accept them gracefully and be pleased but I won't expect anything. I also promise not to be on here moaning that I didn't get anything! Grin

My husband doesn't think I'm a good mother so it would be a bit hollow if he got me anything.

Cocomarine · 12/03/2021 15:29

@TheWarbler

Top tip: tell 'em NOW as Mother's Day is early this year!
Top tip: if you have a husband that needs to be told, he really will not have the first fucking clue whether it is early, late, or cancelled for Covid 🤷🏻‍♀️
Original poster
TheWarbler · 12/03/2021 16:11

Well, I needed to be told Easter is early this year!

OP posts:
freesolo · 12/03/2021 16:34

I'm divorced so I have reminded my children to make me a card, the main reason is I want it instilled in them to think of others and not be the cause of upset in the future by 'forgetting' to remember their partners special days!

Norwaydidnthappen · 12/03/2021 16:36

My MIL reminded DH a couple of weeks ago so she sorted that one for me Grin. I don’t really expect anything aside from the cards my DC made at school, usually the way it goes.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 12/03/2021 16:39

Get your DH/DP to take all kids to his mum's to shout happy mother's day to her from the garden. Ideally it will take them some the to do that. You get a quiet house to yourself for an hour at least!

Don't know don't care if that is allowed.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page