Holiday Plans Changed - should I be consulted?

[Mumsztheword]

First time poster so go easy on me!

I am genuinely interested in peoples opinion's on this one...so here goes.

Booked a holiday abroad with my DH and 3 sons with friends who also have children. We are flying with different carriers due to our timings being slightly different but we will be spending 1 week all together.

Understandably, because of Corona the flights have been changed etc. Friend lets me know that their flight has been cancelled so they have been offered alternative dates within the school term. This is not possible for our family so I told her that.

I started thinking about how we could all still go together so suggested another time that could possibly suit. Friend advised that she had changed her holiday to the term time date we can not go on but she will see if she can change it again to the new suggested time.

I didn't think much of it until I spoke it through with another friend who couldn't believe friend had gone ahead an re booked without consulting us as it was a trip we had planned together. This has now got me thinking was my friend BU?

So for the vote

YABU - Get over it - friend can change it and not need to talk to you first
or
YANBU - How rude - you were meant to be going together, it at least deserved a conversation.

Thanks!

The way I read it is that she suggested a date to you, which you couldn’t do...so she went ahead and booked just for her own family?

That’s fine op. The holiday was in essence cancelled. A new holiday has been arranged.
It’s sensible to book just for her family right now, the worry of arranging things with others during or just post Covid is probably just too much hassle.

Personally I’d be booking for myself and delaying the joint holiday for a few years until things were more normal.

Personally I’d be booking for myself and delaying the joint holiday for a few years until things were more normal.

This. You’d have a point if all of you had booked the same flights and hotels together, but it sounds as if everyone organised their own holiday anyway, but around the same dates so you could all meet there for some of the time.

This is better than booking as a group and then someone pulls out and ruins the whole booking. I’d plan it all again in a couple of years.

The way I read it is that she suggested a date to you, which you couldn’t do...so she went ahead and booked just for her own family?

Yes, same. It reads as if she did consult you even if it wasn't made 100% clear that she was going to go ahead.

I wouldn't be upset about this. I have been let down so many times in the past waiting on people to confirm to the point where nothing ever goes ahead. At some point you just have to go for it or miss out.

Try again next year when all this dies down and don't listen to your other friend, sounds like they just want to cause drama when you weren't even annoyed about it.

who couldn't believe friend had gone ahead an re booked without consulting us

she DID consult you

total non-issue

It sounds like you were going on holiday to the same place at a similar time, rather than holidaying together? Unless you were sharing the accommodation? In which case what will happen now with regards to paying for it? Will they pay the full cost?

@BlueSussex I saw it is we were going together just slightly different dates as they wanted to go for longer. It is a favorite destination of theirs and they know the owners of the hotel and had arranged our accommodation car hire etc. We were in seperate apartments so no issues around cost.

Would you have planned a holiday at this particular destination had it not been for your friends? I might be slightly annoyed if it’s somewhere we all decided to go to together, but it wasn’t one of my top choices for a holiday IYSWIM.

Interesting responses. I guess I see it as courtesy to let some know that I had planned something with that it wasn't going ahead.

In addition to this I wouldn't of acted the way she did but we all know that you can not judge someone by your standards nor think that others will do as you would!

Thanks all :)

It sounds like she did consult you and you said it didn't work for you, so they went ahead anyway because it worked for them.

@EileenGC - Yes I do see. I guess the answer is I would of probably ended up there one day as its sounds like somewhere I would really love.
They were really keen on us going together so they show us all there fav restaurants, things to do etc

But she did consult you, you said no, so she booked? I'm not sure what she has done wrong here?