I am 28 years old and I still have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I am currently attending CBT. I have been trying to get some insight into how it all started. The full blown bulimia/anorexia began at age 12 but I do remember a few isolated incidents in primary school where my mother either called me fat or alluded to it. Examples, at age 9 I wanted to join a gymnastics club because I had some friends who went and my mum sneered at me and said. “Your far too fat for gymnastic you would look ridiculous.” Also calling me “podge” every time she saw me eat. She later has tried to say I have misconstrued what she said but she literally said those exact words so I don’t know how I could have gotten it wrong. I remember this caused me to feel I wished I looked different and to feel guilty about eating. I felt really overweight and horrible but yet when I look at old photos I actually wasn’t fat at all, in fact I was just normal looking! When I started making myself sick and starving myself a worried friend told her mum who contacted my mum, concerned. My mum just said I have enough to deal with without her starting this attention seeking nonsense! School ended up getting involved and urged her to take me to the GP which she did reluctantly and they referred me to an eating disorder therapy and my mum relentlessly made fun of me for going to a “shrink,” all the while still calling me “fat arse” and then denying it. I am now NC with her, haven’t seen her since before Christmas, and I know logically that it is all on me to get better and to get help and I am responsible for how I eat now, but I really can’t help but blame her for causing this eating disorder which has been ongoing for well over a decade. AIBU to feel my mother is , at least, in part responsible?