Remembering birthdays

[Jillypots]

I have an amazing friend, who I really do believe cares for me. She takes great pleasure in celebrating and remembering her own birthday, and those of her other friends. But she never remembers mine. She doesn’t get an electronic reminder of mine as I am not on Facebook. But surely there are other ways of remembering?! Am I being unreasonable to be hurt by this? Or just acting like a five year old and should get over myself?

Easy to solve-‘hi friend, can we do a zoom on my birthday next Tuesday? Would 8pm suit’

Remember to forget her birthday in future.

If it's really that important to you, you could create a FB page, invite her as a friend and then never use the page.

If she remembers those of other friends, but not yours, I can think of two possible reasons:

1. They are all on Facebook or similar so she gets a reminder that way.
2. You are lower on her list of priorities

If it's the first, you could try reminding her yourself - just drop it into conversation a few days beforehand.

If it's the second you can either accept the friendship for what it is - not every friendship has to be on close terms, it's quite possible to enjoy more casual friendships as long as you adjust your expectations - or write it off.

Yes, there are other ways of remembering. I am not on Facebook and I put birthdays in my paper diary, but others might put a reminder on their phone or Outlook calendar.

However I find people often forget I am not on Facebook - they're surprised I don't know about some event they've announced there, and once I was on a night out where some photos were taken and someone was repeatedly trying to 'tag' me before remembering I don't have an account. So it may be that she hasn't really taken in that you're not on FB and so relies on a digital reminder which never happens.

You are not on Facebook. Nor am I. We both have a life that is not known by Mark Zuckerberg and his team. Isn't that good.

The reminder a few days beforehand if it is that important to you seems the best suggestion.

I completely feel the same way OP. I was 30 last week and my two 'best' friends haven't even made any contact for weeks.

I am 36 weeks pregnant with DC3 so feeling particularly emotional about it too.

Thanks for all the helpful comments and suggestions - much appreciated!

@Shipperssss - we are all adults and berate ourselves because we think we should be “grown up” enough for it not to hurt - but it does :( You are allowed to feel emotional. Wishing you all the best with the arrival of DC3, and hoping that 30 turns out to be a wonderful year for you