To be annoyed on my DH behalf?

[AvocadoHo]

Mother's Day, my DH and I live together wi our DD, his mum and younger brother live together about 29 minutes away and his sister lives alone in London (which is about 2 hour drive)

MIL and DH sis have been vaccinated.

My DH asked his mom what the plan was for Mother's Day and if they could set up a zoom call, to be informed that his brother and her are going to see his sister as they've "been vaccinated they'll be fine!"

I am so angry for a number of reasons. One being the blatant disregard for lockdown rules, and the second being that this plan has been made without any thought for my DH, it's not the first time that they all make plans and not include him/us. And thirdly, the fact that his family walk on eggshells around his sister! She's in her 30s but acts like a spoilt brat! He is upset and hurt about being left out and feeling like no thought for was given to him.

I may have gone on a bit of a tirade about his family and I feel bad.

Am I right to be so annoyed?

How does DH feel about this? YANBU if he's miffed, YABU if he doesn't mind.

Well, they obviously shouldn't be breaking the rules. As for the rest of it, there's clearly a back story and a lot of strong feelings. With only this to go on, I couldn't make any judgements.

Have they always treated him differently or is it recent? It sounds hurtful, but if it's an established family dynamic, you are going to struggle to change things. If it's recent, then has it been precipitated by anything?

She lives alone. Have they formed a bubble?

It sounds like a bit of an overreaction to me. Is there some reason why your DH can’t call his mother while she’s at his sister’s?

About 29 minutes away? How precise!

It sounds like an overreaction to me too, unless there is some serious back story missing. So your DH is upset his mother is visiting his sister in months day, mostly because of lockdown rules but then is also upset that they didn’t break the rules more and also invite him?
Is it possible your DH just never makes the plans and sometimes people don’t want to be constantly involving him if he doesn’t do it himself? Calling up to ask what the Mother’s Day plans were could come across as a bit annoying, it sounds like he could always be the one to sit back and let other do arranging and then just expects to tag along.

How has DHs younger brother been vaccinated while DH hasn't?

If you're angry about their blatant disregard for lockdown rules, why would you want your unvaccinated DH to be included in their plans?

Can they not do a zoom call from his sisters house or before his mother leaves her house? They are vaccinated but I gather you and Dh are not. Would you have wanted them calling to you while you are not yet vaccinated? I don't get the problem, apart from the rule breaking.

@jgjgjgjgjg

How has DHs younger brother been vaccinated while DH hasn't?

It's just the MIL and OP's SIL who have been vaccinated

Why care OP? You’re a mum with a family - what has DH planned for you? I’m of the belief that when you have your own kids then you (if you celebrate) make Mother’s Day about you - and obviously care about your own mum ans mother-in-law but don’t get that invested - it’s for others to do the logistics surely?

Maybe they assumed he'd be spending Mother's Day with you and your DD, whereas his DM wants to spend it with his brother and sister? I don't think it's being left out if his siblings want to spend the day with their mum - personally I think it's a massive over reaction. If it's a frequent thing, fine. This once? Absolutely nothing to get in a state about.