What do you do when you wash up?

[fassnk]

Because when I wash the dishes, I also wipe down the kitchen work surfaces, the dining table and DS highchair as it all seems part of the same job to me - using clean hot soapy water. (We have a small open plan kitchen diner, its not like its an 18 seater table in a different room) DP just washes the dishes and does nothing else as "they are separate jobs". Do I really need to say when hes doing the dishes "Remember to wipe the worksurfaces, clean the table and the highchair"?! Am i expecting too much and they are indeed separate jobs? Maybe a dishwasher is the way forward. But knowing my luck I would have to say "Could you empty the dishwasher AND put all the dishes away" lest there be any confusion.

it’s one job : cleaning up after the meal, goal is to restore the house to the neutral state ready for the next meal. anything less is a fail. tell him a bloke called brrrrrrrrrrr on the internet is a leading authority on such matters and refer him to me for any further discussion.

Agree with OP. All part of same job of clearing up after a meal

I do the same as you. Husband just washes up.

In our house, if DH or I are doing washing up, it is the general cleaning down of the kitchen work surfaces, cooker, dining table etc. as an automatic thing.

If it is teen DD, we are lucky if all the dishes are washed and there isn't a lake of sudsy water on the floor.

I clean the kitchen every day but still wipe over the worktop and anything else that needs doing while I'm there. I also dry almost everything up straight after washing is done and then rinse off the drainer and clean out the sink if needed.
I wouldn't be pottering around doing jobs and suddenly think to wipe the kitchen surfaces without doing the washing too.

My DH will do everything except wipe down the counter and I’ve always thought it’s because his eyesight is bad....not so sure anymore 🙄

I wash the dishes, wipe down sides and hob, take out any rubbish and leave the kitchen spotless.

DH does the dishes...that's it. It's like he doesn't see the other bits that need done!

Does he usually take everyday phrases so literally?

'Do the laundry'?
'Change the oil'?
'Change the baby'?

If not, then he's being lazy and also a cheeky fucker.

I'm guessing he knows exactly what needs to be done - 'Clean up everything that needs cleaning as a result of dinner prep and eating' - but he just doesn't want to do it.

When you see it's not done, you'll ask him to do it and he'll accuse you of nagging or treating him like a child. Eventually you'll get tired of his reaction and just sigh and do it all yourself.

Is this where the two of you are right now?

If you want to cut the job in half, tell him you can alternate the two parts of the task - one does washing up while one cleans the rest and the next day you swop over.

Baby sits in high chair while you both get on with it.

All the ae job to me, I spray sides & cooker top & leave that to do its thing why I wash up, then will go over & wipe all surfaces & every other day the front of the fridge. Annoyingly we don't have a dinning table due to lack of space but of we did again, I'd do it all in one sweep!

Even if your DH thinks they're seprate, tell him that excuse is rubbish, he's an adult capable of taking 2 minutes to wipe down some surfaces after washing up.

Oh my DH and DS15 are like this. They wash up and that's it. I tidy around when I wash up. It irks me but I've given up after 22 years now...!

Same as you op.
But DD and Mr are the same as your lot.
I just leave it on their days. Past caring. My day is always the works.

It's the same job! I load the dishwasher, hand wash the items that aren't suitable for the dishwasher and then wipe down the sides, oven etc. Any hoover g has to wait until the mini g though ad I do this once my daughter is in bed and don't want to risk waking her up!

Stop. Selling it washing the dishes & start calling it cleaning up after dinner🤷🏻‍♀️

Why does it matter if it's one job or 4? All needs doing.

When I'm here: dishwasher filled, anything that can't go in gets washed up and the sink and drainer are disinfected, sides cleaned, hob cleaned, table wiped and mats wiped and put away. Floor swept and mopped if needed.

When I'm working in the evening: dishwasher gets filled. Vague attempt at washing pots that can't go in, although he more often than not puts stuff "to soak" instead. Doesn't dry anything. Thinks that the sink is self-cleaning. He might swipe a damp dishcloth over the sides.

Also, I am apparently the only person capable of emptying the dishwasher or putting anything away...

I can't moan too much, as he does the majority of the laundry and all the ironing.

I have known only two men capable of wiping worktops to the required standard. And I wasn't married to either of them.

My oh is the same 🤯 honestly it's like having an extra kid since he's been working from home since March last year 😩

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants

Stop. Selling it washing the dishes & start calling it cleaning up after dinner🤷🏻‍♀️

Why does it matter if it's one job or 4? All needs doing.

Fecking phone!!

Stop calling it...

Same as you OP. Dishes, counter tops, table, seats and I also empty the bin and the food bin but DC take the bags outside to the big bins. I wipe out the cupboard the bins sit in and I wipe the oven door handles and the control panel on the dishwasher. And I change the tea towel and switch the dishwasher on.

Absolutely it's one job

including taking the bin out.

Even when you have a dishwasher, you fill it in, clean kitchen and dining room, put leftovers in the fridge...

Surely worktops need to be cleaned a lot more often. I can understand leaving some dirty dishes on the side (i hate it, but I can see people doing it...) but you need clean surfaces.

Washing up to me means washing up/rinsing all dishes too/ rinsing out recycling and putting in recycle box / cleaning sink and work tops/ cleaning table and place mats/ cleaning hob if needed/sweeping floor.

Yes, I do any related dinner type cleaning at the same time. And usually make the kids' lunches for next day too.

We have a dishwasher. In this house we say 'doing the dishes' (this is important )

Xh's idea of 'doing the dishes' meant putting things in the dishwasher. Anything that needed hand-washing, any surfaces that needed wiping down- these were not included in his version of 'doing the dishes'. Apparently, to enable the magic hand-washing upgrade, I should've said "Please do the washing up". *

Mine meant making sure all washing up was done, whether by machine or hand, all surfaces wiped, a quick sweep of the kitchen floor, and a mopping down if needed.

*Unless his parents were round. Then much was made of how he stood at the sink doing ' all of the clearing up' and intimations of how lucky I was.

Make him a star chart. Obviously not a necessity for most adults, but your DP seems to need the encouragement and praise.