I've just turned 25, been with dp who has a 9 year old dd for 6 years.
dsd has lived with dp since she was a few months old, mum moved abroad and chose to have had no contact.
I didnt want to have a step child and wasnt planning on having a long term relationship with a man who had kids but it happened and now i really do care about her and I imagine I treat her the same as I would my own kids. DP usually has to travel a lot for his work so I've looked after her alone quite a but and am very involved in raising her.
Me and DP get on really well but we are more friends than in a relationship at this point. Hes always made it clear he doesn't want more kids, I didn't but now I really would like to. I would have left before if it wasn't for not wanting to hurt dsd or make her life harder.
I'm pretty certain if i did leave that he wouldn't stop me from seeing his dd and we would hopefully still stay friends but it obviously wouldn't be the same and i cant imagine not having her in my life full time.
Mum made contact last year to ask to see photo of dsd and if she could send her a Christmas card and has now said that she wanted to move back to the UK this year and see her dd. She did/does have MH issues but it was her choice to leave, was never a threat or unable to look after dsd so I've always known there was a chance she could return at any point. I obviously wouldn't want to stop them having a relationship if they can but cant help feeling threatened by her returning and feel a bit stupid for raising someone else's child for them instead of having my own.
AIBU or stupid to stay with DP just for dsd? or WIBU to leave her now?