To ask him to come home?

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So I’ve had a morning full of (horrible) drama and am fairly shaken up. My partner is self employed and although I work aswell we rely on his wages as he earns more than i do.

Basically my 9 month old DS had a blockage in his throat this morning, couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t get it out and we needed to call an ambulance in the end. I’ve never called an ambulance before ever. Taken the kids to A&E on occasion, had other incidents with the kids but never anything like this. He was completely unable to breathe, cough, anything and I was frantic. He didn’t lose consciousness and was sort of crying/making some noise throughout which the paramedics said meant he was getting some oxygen at least but it was the single scariest thing that’s ever happened. I’ve got 5 kids and we’ve had our fair share of accidents etc but nothing like this. I was holding him and he was going totally rigid, red faced and couldn’t take a breath and I really thought I was going to lose him.

When the ambulance arrived my DS sort of coughed/vomited and a chunk of toast came up and also a largish sequin. My little girl has been doing a lot of craft at home and uses sequins on her paintings and stuff a lot and he’s somehow got hold of one which they said probably blocked the toast going down and caused him distress.

It was so much worse than distress though and I’m so shaken up. The baby is fine, he’s happy as Larry now in fact but I’m a basket case. Would it be unreasonable to ask OH to come home for what amounts to nothing more than a handhold really? I’m usually alright in a crisis but this has left me really jittery and in tears and I can’t shake it. It’s been a few hours now and I don’t really feel ok at all. Am I just being a baby?

No you are absolutely not being a baby. What a traumatising experience. If you need the money though, maybe him coming home isn’t a good idea. Have you managed to sit down and have a cuppa? I’d focus on doing something that usually calms you down, it’ll take a while, then go from there.

I don't think you're being a baby at all. You had an incredibly terrifying experience, and I know exactly how you feel because my daughter choked once as a 1 year old. It was the worst experience of my/my husband's life, and we didn't even need to call for an ambulance. My daughter is 21 now and I can still acutely feel how scared I was when I think about that day.

You need support and comfort, so call your husband. I'm so happy your baby is ok.

Hi OP,
That sounds very scary, I’m glad your DS is absolutely fine now. Why don’t you ring your OH for a chat and see if that helps? It depends on his job as to whether or not it’s unreasonable to expect him to come home. I’d say it sounds like you could do with the support but if it isn’t practical for him to come home then maybe people on here can keep you company instead? X

No it's a huge shock.

When you feeling better you could do an emergency peadiatric first aid class. It's on my to do list.

Thank you for all of your responses, It feels a little bit better just talking to people about it. When it was happening it was just me and the kids at home, and when the paramedics left I called OH who didn’t answer the phone and I called my mum and there was no answer either. I think the lack of immediate support in a stressful situation just amplified the panic of it. (I know they were just busy I’m not complaining about them)

My partner just called and said he’s managed to rearrange his other appts this afternoon and will be home in an hour ish. I do feel a bit weak about needing him to tbh but I am glad that he’s coming.

I don’t think it is weak at all wanting him to come home. What is actually great about this is that you’ve got a supportive OH and you’re confident enough to know when you’re not okay. It is fine not be be okay about this. I hope you’re feeling better as the day goes on xx

I do have a lot to be grateful for today, thank you for that perspective @StayOrGoOrWhat