Long story short, I have been married for 8 years, have 2 very small children. 2 weeks before I got married, my ex boyfriend messaged me saying that he wanted to be with me and get serious about our relationship. I ignored this message as I was 2 weeks away from getting married and didn't feel like engaging with him was appropriate. By ignoring him I feel like I did myself an injustice, The problem is I haven't stopped thinking about him through all these years. I spend my quiet time thinking about him and dream about him. I did really love him but he didn't treat me the best, I wasn't an angel either, we were both a bit immature at that time. We got back in contact a year or 2 after we broke up, he wanted to date etc but I pushed away because I was still unsure but I knew that I loved him still. I met my husband and very soon after we met we got married (sounds weird but in my culture that's how you do things).
Am I on a path to destruction? How did I erase this guy from my memory. I'm sure by now he must have moved on and have a family of his own. The feelings for him never went away but now they're stronger than ever? What is happening to me? I haven't seen this guy for like 9 years. I have a family and I know these thoughts aren't good for me and my family. I find myself thinking about him all the time, wondering where he is and what he is doing...Urgh I feel like an idiot, if o my I could rewind time eh...