I’m not sure where else to put this so hopefully some help may be given here...
A bit of background. Some years ago my FIL confided in me that he had been married when he was younger (early 1960s) had a child but the relationship had broken down when the child was a toddler and there seemed to be some agreement that he would cut all ties and have no contact with his ex wife or child. He said he often thought about the child, and seemed very sad when he spoke about it. I never mentioned anything to my husband as I thought if he knew about it he may not want to discuss it or if he didn’t, was it my place to say anything? So I left it alone.
My FIL sadly passed away a couple of months ago. What he told me has been really bothering me. I spoke to a friend who is a bit of a detective with stuff like this, and I managed to find out more about the child (name etc).
I broached it with my DH about a week ago, but he said that he did know about the marriage and child as his Dad got very drunk about 20 years ago, and he found a note that his dad had written. My DH didn’t mention it to anyone about this note, and the subject was never discussed again.
It’s totally none of my business, and I will respect my DH wishes about leaving this alone - but if you were a child who had been estranged from a parent, would you want to know if your biological parent had passed away? I mentioned to my DH the right thing to do would be to inform her - but am I right?