How often does your toddler cry?

[SleepySlugs]

My DD is 22 months, she has a range of pretty serious health problems and on top of that, I'm a first time mum with pretty much no idea what I'm doing.

So I thought (probably naively) that toddler trantums were hitting, screaming, biting? But lately DD has had proper sobbing, crying, heart breaking episodes.
This morning in the space of two hours DD had 4, over trivial things such as wanting a banana and her toy not working properly.
She's not angry at all, it's like she's heartbroken. Real tears, cuddling into me and sobbing for ages.
She's due a check up soon so I'm wondering if I tell them she's not a happy girl, incase it's due to her condition or medication?

YABU - Toddlers do that, it's the terrible twos.

YANBU - It's worth bringing it up at the hospital appointment.

Mine is 20 months and this morning was heartbroken weeping from we went downstairs til we got to nursery and the thing that set him off seemed to be when I picked him up to get ready for nursery and he wanted his Poppy book. Which was in his hand. Although putting his shoes on certainly didn't help matters.

Mention it, as she does have so much going on and it might be something she can't express to you, but keep in mind that sometimes they're just having A Day.

I have 23 month old twins and they cry all the fucking time, over trivial things. This morning DT1 sobbed and sobbed as I’d closed the bathroom door after cleaning their teeth. DT2 has just had a crying meltdown as I wouldn’t give her the tv remote.

Honestly don’t worry it really is just part and parcel with their age

DS1 was a crier. I remember he cut his face at age 2 and had butterfly stitches on it. I had a nightmare trying to keep them dry because he cried approximately 8 times a day and then he'd wipe snot and tears over the dressing. It healed OK but he does still have a scar!

DS2 is more of a screaming in utter rage and lying on the floor kind of tantrummer.

Neither of them really hit or throw things - DS1 did a bit when he was older. He has ADHD so tantrummed for a bit longer than most kids.

DS2 doesn't really cry at all unless he's hurt or scared.

20 month old DD here was utterly heartbroken last night because a bird flew away. I’d say it’s normal and more down to temperament whether they’re shouty or weepy. They’re just learning to handle big feelings - disappointment, frustration etc.

I would look up the side effects of her meds though and mention to the doctor if any of them link to mood or sleep (lack of good sleep can affect mood). My DD was on meds last year which had the possible side effect of disrupted sleep. Now, of course, what teething 10 month old isn’t going to have disrupted sleep! But we mentioned it at the hospital and DD got a different version of the meds. Her sleep improved dramatically. So, while it may be “just toddlers”, if medication is exacerbating something it’s worth giving the doctors the full picture. They won’t think any less of you for mentioning it.

Thank you for all the replies, I put this in aibu for the voting system and now for some reason I can't see the votes so thank you all for commenting too!

It’s YABU 56% and YANBU 44% from what I can see.

Thank you very much

I've got two little terrors and one will cry proper big tears and really upset at the littlest things and the other gets angry rather than cry. Toddlers are a mystery. If your worried mention it

This tumblr might help - you are not alone!
reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

My first did the screaming angry cry thing (but no biting/hitting - and still wanted cuddles while screaming at me, lol. He was also extremely compliant and calm by 3, like a different child, so I think communication was the problem); my second was much calmer - a bit of a sulker; my third (23 months now) sobs like you describe but gets over things pretty quickly with cuddles and distraction. She's very empathetic too, and shows great concern when others seem sad, so I wonder if there's a connection.

Awful between 1-2yrs old- fine until 3, now at 3.5yrs she quite the drama queen- also no naps so far more tears at the end of the day than when she used to nap.

I’m not going to vote because in my experience toddlers can be heartbroken over small things, but if you are worried about it definitely bring it up with your HV or at any medical appointments (because sometimes all you need is someone professional to tell you it’s normal to ease the anxiety). My youngest DS very occasionally actively tries to prevent himself from crying which is oddly as heartbreaking, I ended up calling my health visitor because I was so worried that he’d learned somewhere it was wrong to cry! Turns out he just decided there wasn’t anything to be upset about after all

YANBU it likely is normal behaviour but because of her health issues it is worth mentioning. Just keep cuddling her though.

3.5 year old DS1 cries maybe once a day. Some days he won’t cry, others he cries 2-3 times. Usually fighting over toys with ds2 or if he hurts himself. I don’t feel like he cries too much. I can reason with him and talk about feelings. He wasn’t too bad aged 2 but he has certainly been easier since he turned 3.

DS2 aged 2.3 cries about 6 billion times a day. It is his reaction to literally everything. He has always been harder work than ds1 but my god the terrible 2s have come with a lot of emotions for him. I’m not able to reason at all with him yet and the slightest of disappointments cause wailing and on the floor screaming. I’m not worried about him. He’s a bit overdramatic but fairly normal for a 2 year old I think.

I would definitely bring it up.

DD was a crier / screamer and like in PP above used to tantrum about "6 billion times a day". However it was very obvious her endless outbursts were driven by disappointment and frustration. Now she is 4, has become much more independent and generally learnt to control her emotions (well, sort of...).

Real tears and sobbing are very different and they may or may not be typical toddler behaviour. Given the history of other health problems there is absolutely no downside in asking for medical advice.

Neither of mine have had angry tantrums, both have had heartbroken sobbing ones. They are usually punctuated by things like 'please no mummy, no thank you mummy, I no want to mummy'. My nearly 2 year old has more than I could count in a day (with mostly happy times in between). She will act absolutely devastated over things like her cup being the wrong colour, or not being allowed to play in the cat litter tray

Ds1 never did angry tantrums but was often reduced to real sobs by things like his biscuit breaking so it can be normal. But that doesnt mean you shouldn't mention it to her medical team just in case.

Pretty normal for the age group. But I would mention it. If it has anything to do with her other issues, it should be noted. And if it doesn't, hopefully they can give you some reassurance.

I think it's pretty normal and I say that as a mum who doesn't have a crier. Mine is more of a death-stare, foot-stamping, head-banging kind of tantrum-er.

It is normal but in my experience not constant and greatly exacerbated by tiredness/feeling unwell/teething so you’re definitely NBU to mention it to your dr. My DS can go days without tears but then was awake most of Saturday night with the cold and cried 6-8 times yesterday over tiny incidents.

Yep my 2 year old cries over anything she doesn't get her own way over. For example she wants climb up something dangerous. She isn't a biter or hitter but cries sad tears and likes to be cuddled and comforted even when you are the same parent who said no

Always worth mentioning it if you are worried. I do remember a friend saying to me that they are experiencing the same emotions as adults, even though objectively their problems seem trivial. So when they are howling because their banana broke, that's like us crying because our family heirloom smashed.

My daughter 19 months, cried her heart out this morning because her baby/dolly fell out of the toy pushchair. Sounds totally normal to me.
Other things that set her off, having to take welly's off, wearing a coat, wrong cup etc.