Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DH on IWD

43 replies

Bananadramallama · 08/03/2021 09:07

I have just sent my 5 year old DD off to school with what I thought was some lovely words of encouragement for her first day back and especially as it falls on International Women's Day and DH pipes up When's International Men's Day??

It really annoys me and he does things like this all the time.

I am due on this week so probably hormonal and fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable and it was just a joke but Arggggggghh

OP posts:
TravellingJack · 08/03/2021 10:17

I was picking up a Mother's Day card in Tesco yesterday and saw they had a card 'For Dad, on Mother's Day'. Now, I get why, in principle... but FFS there is an ACTUAL FATHER'S DAY in a couple of months!!

I'll be very interested to see the reverse equivalent in June...

Not to even get into the origin of Mother's Day/Mothering Sunday not even being about mothers as such

MinnieJackson · 08/03/2021 10:22

Fair play @SwedishK Brew cheers to that.

Whatisthisfuckery · 08/03/2021 10:25

You’d think all these men whining about IMD would actually know that there is one, and know when it is, because they’re obviously so bothered.

But they’re not bothered, not apart from on IWD, because it’s not that they want an IMD for themselves, it’s that they don’t want women to have a day for themselves.

MojoMoon · 08/03/2021 10:26

Buy him a gift. That gift should be the book "The Problem with Men: When is International Men’s Day? (And Why it Matters)" by Richard Herring.

It's a funny book - he might actually enjoy it (and learn some useful stuff)

Richard is not doing his tweetathon answering every moron who tweets today about men's day because he is recovering from surgery. But he is still collecting for Refuge and is at over 100k already on his gofundme.

BlingLoving · 08/03/2021 10:47

I saw something brilliant on Twitter where a journalist said that she'll be checking the gender pay gap data for any firm that sends her anything about IWD and won't be engaging with any who are simply trying to "whitewash" their behaviour.

Jokes aside, the biggest issue with IWD is absolutely that men think it means they are being discriminated against. The backlash is frightening and very dangerous.

Sparklfairy · 08/03/2021 12:06

@Whatisthisfuckery

You’d think all these men whining about IMD would actually know that there is one, and know when it is, because they’re obviously so bothered.

But they’re not bothered, not apart from on IWD, because it’s not that they want an IMD for themselves, it’s that they don’t want women to have a day for themselves.

I came on to say something similar to this. If it was important to them they'd know exactly when it was.

Of course, the real outrage is at the fact the spotlight is turned away from them for one day Hmm

peak2021 · 08/03/2021 12:41

A McDonalds breakfast is not grounds for forgiveness in my opinion. He probably thinks Boris Johnson is OK.

Richard Herring's book or old podcasts is a good idea.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 08/03/2021 12:44

OP I think you need to tell him that he has literally just said the one thing that universally makes people look like total idiots on IWD.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 08/03/2021 12:49

Ooooh @SwedishK fair fucking play to you. We need more of that.

JackieakaBritney · 08/03/2021 13:07

send him this

To be annoyed at DH on IWD
Brefugee · 08/03/2021 13:17

I have decided not to engage with the idiots this year but in the past i have

  1. used the marvellous GIF of "A man has arrived to give his manly opinion" rather liberally (it is still my 2nd favourite GIF)
  2. said: it's great that you care about men's issues, it's on 19th November when i tweet loads of resources about men's health and mental health. Then I bookmarked it and went back in November and asked what he was doing for the day
  3. asked them if they were always so engaged in men's issues or only when they thought all the attention was being focussed on women for one day out of 365
  4. posted the graphic of "when do people google 'when is International Men's day'"
  5. posted the GIF or commented that "sorry for an interruption of service, International Men's Day will resume tomorrow and continue every day until 8th March next year"

etc etc.

it's exhausting.

Original poster
Bananadramallama · 08/03/2021 13:36

I love you lot.. Thank you!!
Goes off to buy him that book for "fathers day" Grin
Is it petty that I have decided not to remind him its mother's day this weekend, knowing that means his mum won't get anything? Confused
--But neither will I, and if she had brought him up to respect the women in his life and not to rely on them for everything little thing she would have got one.. --

OP posts:
JSL52 · 08/03/2021 13:41

@FuckingFabulous

It's the 19th of November, but honestly, every god damn day since the fragile beginnings of society has been Men's Day. "This is a man's world" etc, and every year we hear snivelling pricks bemoaning the fact that there is one day set aside to honour women, regardless of their parental status. Fuck off, those men. You can helicopter your knobs every other day of the year. This one isn't for you.
Abso fucking lutely
SwedishK · 08/03/2021 13:53

@Bananadramallama

I love you lot.. Thank you!! Goes off to buy him that book for "fathers day" Grin Is it petty that I have decided not to remind him its mother's day this weekend, knowing that means his mum won't get anything? Confused --But neither will I, and if she had brought him up to respect the women in his life and not to rely on them for everything little thing she would have got one.. --
Yea, I stopped reminding DH about mothers day or his side of the families birthdays years ago. It has caused some uncomfortable situations but it's him being uncomfortable, not me. I have also missed out on quite a few mothers day presents but I have stopped caring.
Brefugee · 08/03/2021 13:55

Yeah, hard as it is don't remind him about Mothers' Day.

Woebegonad · 08/03/2021 14:01

if she had brought him up to respect the women in his life and not to rely on them for everything little thing

Do try not to fall into the trap of blaming your MIL for your husband's inadequacies. That just keeps him off the hook.

Babygotblueyes · 08/03/2021 14:03

I would be really annoyed too. The thing about these kind of throw away remarks is that they get written off as jokes but show underlying attitudes. I believe that feminist approaches are as much about equal rights for men as well (like paternity leave, being able to be free from toxic male attitudes) but am sick of people who belong to privileged groups bleating about themselves when the issues of others rights come up.

TheGracefulwhale · 08/03/2021 14:07

@ooohbriefcase

I remember seeing a post once, it was quotes from men complaining about women having privilege for getting their own spaces. E.g gyms etc. Black people having their own charities specifically for helping black people. Complaining white men don't have these privileges and groups, specifically aimed for men or white people, and someone said It's the same reason you don't get lightning bolts and red shells on Mario kart when you're already in first place. Some men seem to forgot that they automatically get a head start just for being born with a penis. Especially if they're white.
Bloody love this. I'll be using this!
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread