To think this won’t really work - wedding venue?

[aintnocoffeebigenough]

DP and I are getting married next year at 3pm and have been looking for a venue to have a meal and an evening do afterwards. Found a lovely venue that said we can have the meal in the restaurant area and then move into the big bar/function room for the evening do.

Was all looking great until we came to discussing seating arrangements and realised we wouldn’t all fit into the main ‘square’ of the restaurant if you see what I mean. You know how some restaurants have a few more tables round the corner/down a hallway? We’d have to use these areas to seat some of our guests so we wouldn’t all be dining together if you see what I mean - we’d be out of each other’s sight for the duration of the meal.

DP says it’s fine because we’ll only be in this area for two hours or so whilst we are dining and that nobody would really be up chatting to other tables at this point anyway because they’ll be eating. Does anyone agree with him? I’m a bit hopeless and have only been to two or three weddings so I don’t know if this would be a bit odd. Am I overthinking it?

Can the restaurant really not rejig the normal layout to fit 10 guests in? eg make every table of 6 a 7?

Oh gawd, I was at one of those tables for a family wedding. We had no idea the speeches were even happening, so my cousin and I kept drinking (waiting for food) and being loud all the way through them. Served the silly sods right.

@Zarinea

The people round the corners would feel very B list. I'd avoid.

Yes.

However, it's a wedding. Could the tables not be put closer together or tables rearranged to make bigger groups? It isn't as though restaurant needs to keep diners separate for privacy and intimacy like if they were all strangers.

I think it’s very different if it’s an old venue and the people are split over multiple rooms, vs a modern venue where B listers are shoved somewhere else.

Ive done quite a few weddings where all the guests didn't fit in the room with the top table. Some have the guests in two smaller function rooms and room B is asked to moved to through for the speeches. Or where some guests have had to sit outside. It's not massively uncommon but definitely not great for the B Listers.
I remember having a guest who royally kicked off at me because he was in the second room. Yes I was the wedding manager and discouraged this set up but the final decision was the bride and groom's!

I think it would be better to cut the day numbers and have those people as evening guests.

Better to invite them to part of the event and have them feel welcome and wanted than to all of it and have them feel B list.

I've been a B lister.

Look for a different venue.

I was in a separate bit at a wedding I went to years ago. I felt a bit distanced from the party, it was just the meal bit. We had go get out or seats to see the speeches. Luckily the people at the table were brilliant, great chat and a good laugh.

Will there be older children there? They would probably be happy to sit at their own table.

Hmm. My feeling is don't do it.

You want to all be together so they can see speeches and all guests feel equally treated. Those in the corridor will feel left out and you will feel bad. You don't want to feel that on your wedding day, you want to enjoy it and feel like you're being a lovely host.

If there were no other option then of course but I am sure there will be other options?

The idea of splitting off kids/teens is great—I would have loved that when I was young!

Cut down the number of invites instead of having a second class group.

Don't take advice about evening invites on here, most people prefer them. It's the best bit. I initially thought that it would be good for the under 16's, but if that won't work, then cut numbers.

I've been on one of the tables in the 'corridor' section of an L-shaped room at a wedding. Couldn't see the top table, they hadn't put any speakers in our section so we didn't even know when they'd started the speeches and were shushed by other tables further round as we were still merrily chatting away - very embarrassing!

Even when we had gone quiet, the lack of speakers meant we could barely hear the speeches so we just sat in awkward silence for 20 mins or so.