Advice or experience please?

[rabbitheadlights]

I need advice or experiences as to what is wrong with my son 7?? I don't know what else to do but it's exhausting! I've had him assessed for ADHD and although he meets most of the criteria the QB test said no so paeds say definately not ADHD. Son is loving caring gentle funny, but my god he's a dope, his shoes go on the wrong feet EVERY SINGLE TIME! pants back to front, vests back to front every single time! When I talk to him unless I force eye contact he essentially looks through me?! Never retains any information at all ... I just don't know what avenues to explore but something is definately not right any ideas? Please?

I'd look at:
ASD
ADHD
ADD
Dyspraxia
Executive functioning
Being 7

@TeenMinusTests are these not all things that would have been considered by the paediatrician when assessing for ADHD? Re the being 7 thing it's definately not just that

Conditions can overlap so traits may be common to more than one. Can you come up with strategies to help, stickers in shoe for example.

I really don't know.
The impression I get is that diagnosing is not an exact science especially at 7, and unless an assessment was extremely wide ranging there may be things to consider that you might not even think to bring up.

(DD1 assessed dyspraxia age 15, DD2 no formal 'label' but a bunch of difficulties.)

Things like vests back to front is it:

• can't remember which way round they go
• doesn't notice
• notices but can't be bothered

Similarly shoes, have you tried the smiley face technique?

We have tried stickers, smiley face etc reward charts, daily goals etc nothing works it's like he just doesn't get it, paeds said he met every single criteria for ADHD except 1, the QB test which apparently renders all other detail irrelevant because based on that she dismissed a diagnosis. She said he has " learning needs"but what does that mean? Where do I go with that? I just don't know how to help him.its almost as if he's half turned on lacking in power, zest or energy half the time and the other half he's bouncing off the walls.

When I say to him DS you have your shoes on the wrong feet again, trousers back to front and vest wrong way, which is every day now he just looks weary and fed up and sad. I could ask him to do something like pick up his shoes and put them away and 5 minutes later I ask why the shoes are still there he will say I forgot. And he genuinely has forgotten, completely!

Sounds like he has a processing issue - dyspraxia, auditory perhaps. Can you ask school for Ed psych referral, assuming it affects him in classroom too,

Can he do things if interested?

With clothes specifically have you done all labels on the inside and at the back?

If he really cannot do things then I'd either help (trousers) or not comment (vest) as it will be hopeless for his self esteem.