AIBU to stop giving gifts after 18th?

[ChocOrange1]

My niece (husbands brothers daughter) is turning 18 later this year. WIBU to give her an 18th birthday gift, but then stop giving gifts and just send a card from then on?

For context, we live very close to the family but have seen niece about 3 times in the last 2 years. Obviously lockdowns have happened but we saw the family a few times last summer and niece didn't come along. She doesn't have a wishlist for gifts, so we sent money or amazon vouchers and we have never recieved a thank you text. She has two much younger siblings and we would continue to send them gifts until they were also 18 (by which time niece would be 30). We have a large extended family so its not like we are the only people who give her money/presents. Thoughts please!

Absolutely fine. My godfather stopped giving me presents when I was 18. He explained he had a few other godchildren and cash flow wasn’t what it had been, but really there was no need for any explanation. He has continued to be an important presence in my life through adulthood, in fact I’ve found him much easier to talk to as I’ve got older (he’s not really a ‘child person’).

Meanwhile my godmother has become much more environmentally conscious and we mutually agreed to stop with unnecessary presents. Occasionally we will give each other a book or something we know will definitely be appreciated but there is no obligation.

YANBU- especially if she never says thank you! I’d probably keep giving until she’s 21, and I’d also informally let the parents know, so they don’t think you’ve forgotten her or taken against her or anything.

But it’s not unreasonable to stop giving once children grow up, particularly if you barely see them or they never say thank you.

18 in our family is normal. I have occasionally sent gifts to those at uni of l knew they were struggling. Last year l got no thank you from any of my nephew's and nieces apart from one. She will carry on getting gifts for a bit till she finishes uni. It's not like a want a thank you letter a one line txt would have been fine.

Perfectly reasonable to stop at 18. Through frankly if your presents aren’t being acknowledged I’d stop for the lot of them. (Realise your husband may resist that!)

Where does it end. I have few godchildren. 6 nices nephews also. Hate when its not thanked or acknowledged..

Stip Christmas and birthdays after 18. If you don’t stop then you never will

Seems reasonable to me, especially if not thanked! Our family fo presents whilst ‘children’ are in full time eduction.

This is what I have done with my neices and nephews. They get presents up to their 18th and then just a card after that.

I can't imagine not buying my nephews presents - although, I might reconsider if I never got an acknoweldgement (plus, they are currently pretty young, so I might also feel differently in 10 years time). I also don't think you can just blame the parents for the lack of response - maybe when the kids are young, but teenagers are more than capable of realising that you thank someone for a gift!

Ours was 18 as my dc are older than my relatives dc so they set the precedent but my dm will probably get something for their 21st birthdays as well.

DNs

The problem with cards or gifts for over18's is that they are happy to spend all day and night on the phone but when it is your turn to be thanked no text no phone call if it was left to me I would completely stop. There is no excuse for not saying thank you

18 is fine...
I stopped dn at 21....her parents response was to no longer buy for any dn/dn....mine are still under 5 🤷‍♀️
Obviously I've been buying for my dn/dn for years, I just happened to start my family years after my siblings (adoption, IVF).
Hey ho its only £....I'll try to find a way my kids won't notice 🙄

I stopped at 18 then sent card and money for 21st,about half of them sent thank yous.
I have a few nephews and nieces over 21,I now only send cards to the ones that send one for me.