Am I over reacting should I complain

[Buzlightyear1]

Hi so I did a thread in general health but haven’t had any replies.

I had a appointment for the 2nd time with a gynaecologist as I’ve not had a period in over 4 years since having my son. I stopped breastfeeding over a year and a half ago.

They did some repeats bloods and they show low levels in hormones and scans show the womb is starry to get thicker. I asked him what can be done as I would like to have more children.

The de then started talking about my weight saying I need to lose weight as my overaies are lazy because I’m overweight. He then said if I lose weight I will get healthy skin and hair like him. I am over weight not by to much as I e lost a bit also I weigh less than before having my son. But I obviously understand that I would be better at losing some more weight.

The bit that has really upset me is about my skin and hair . I have a condition not related to weight which makes me lose my pigment in parts of my face and hair. So they just turn white it looks like I have half a eyebrow with no make up on. It’s really upset me.

He refused to help me with anything just said to come back in 4 months for another scan. The nurse who was there was lovely and helpful when he left the room. She was so kind i want to get a 2 nd opinion ( she actually advised me to but didn’t want him to hear her so obviously I won’t say anything to him) when I went back to the room to grab my bag I heard him doing a voice recording to send to the dr. I’m so embarrassed by it all I just want to hid away. I’m embarrassed by my face and my hair now to I feel so humiliated I want help to sort out my period but I’m now so embarrassed to. Am I being over the top ?

100% complain. Inappropriate and he should know better

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’ve been so upset since But I don’t want to over react. Thank you

I'm shocked at how you were treated. This is unprofessional and bad doctoring. He had no right to comment on your skin and hair, and it's not at all clear that your weight was relevant either. I'm not a doctor but I find it hard to believe that you are not having a period because you're overweight - so are millions of menstruating women ! He did not address your complaint at all! Instead he shamed you. Please get the medical care you deserve. And please complain so that another woman does not have to face what you did,

I'm so sorry you went through this OP. Please don't let a sexist, patronising, unsympathetic and frankly bad doctor undermine you. This is about him, not you. Please get the medical care and support you need. Best of luck to you.

Thank you so much. Honestly I’m so upset I thought maybe I was over reacting. The nurse was amazing and supportive. I have no problem talking about my weight but I really don’t think that’s the problem. It really upset me to be sat half naked with him talking about my bad skin. I hate the way it looks but I had accepted the way my face is I have scars from a accident on my face and vitiligo . His word were so upsetting if I was not half naked I would have probably said something at the time but I just wanted to get up and run away at that point.

I am definitely going to complain you are so right. I feel bad for the nurses working with him they seam uncomfortable which I’ve never really seen with others . I don’t want him making any other woman feeling this way. I feel so awful right now and I didn’t get any proper answer or treatment for it.

I would agree but my face is not oily or in bad condition at all. Apart from the scars and white marks . I don’t have spots or anything either.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I would also say you need to raise this with PALS.
He is obviously one of those doctors who immediately judges someone for being overweight and diagnoses it as the cause of all issues
It's sad this is still happening and HCP's are getting away with it.
Hope you're ok and manage to get some answers.