Is this due to ADD

[APerson]

I'm posting on here for traffic and for advice on what I should do. I have not said or done anything yet because I'm not sure whether the behaviour of my colleague (I'll call her Sally), is because of her disability.

Sally has ADD and dyslexia.

I have mental health problems and a hearing impairment.

We both work for a disability charity where all the staff are disabled but we are not actually given any training on each others disabilities so all we know is what we are told by them. For confidentiality reasons, nothing is disclosed by management. It does feel a bit wierd, considering its a disability charity but anyway.

Everyone works home based so we don't see each other except in video calls, I use a stenographer.

Myself and Sally do the same job. There are two other staff members who do this job too (one has mobility impairments and the other has MS)

I am finding it increasingly difficult to work with Sally but I haven't said or done anything because I am not sure how much is because of her ADD.

Things she does include:

Interrupting me
Raising her voice, to the point of shouting, so as to be heard
Criticising me, telling me what I am doing is wrong (it isn't)
Taking credit for my work
Copying my LinkedIn word for word, posting the same posts as me, sending connection requests to all my connections, doing the same on Twitter.
Being rude to my stenographers, ordering them not to 'type that' - how else can I know what is being said?
Not seeming to be aware of how she comes across or apologising if I say, politely, to please let me finish
bombarding me with emails and phone calls - the latter is not good because I need advance notice to book a stenographer
also bombarding me with text messages
Often these messages are really trivial things
Telling me how to do my job, acting like she's my boss
Very forward behaviour, over enthusiastic and not 'letting things go'.

I think that's most of it. I just find it hard to work with her and don't know how to approach it without causing upset but its making me enjoy my job less.

Suggestions and help very much welcomed.

There may be more to it than has been disclosed. Focus on the behaviours and how it affects you when speaking to your manager.

That's not ADD (and I suspect you know it) and you should absolutely raise it with HR and management. It's not ok and you don't have to let her bully you.

That’s 100% not ADD. Happily the diagnostic criteria doesn’t include “rude twat”.

Raising voice, interrupting and being very forward - yes.

The rest of it I'm not so sure about and don't recognise those as common ADD traits.

You might want to post this on the Reddit ADHD forum though rather than Mumsnet AIBU. A few recent threads on here show that the vast majority of posters don't have the first clue what ADHD actually is.

The interrupting you is very much an ADD/ADHD trait. She most likely can't help that. Possibly her 'shouting' too. People with ADD/ADHD do have a tendency to speak loudly. I'm often accused of shouting. I'm not it's just my voice.

The rest of it I would not say is down to her disability.

I'm not sure of the difference between ADD and ADHD, she says its ADD she has.

She jokes she is an ADDiva

I'm not sure if that's a reference to behaviours it presents.

I have tried to undertake my own research into the conditions and as I said above, there has been no training from the employer despite it being a disability charity.

Can you discuss this with your manager? I'm not sure how it works, who do you report to. I would discuss this exact list of issues with them. Some could be explained away but that for them to decide on. She just seems like an unbearable, rude person and under normal circumstances she would be pulled up on them.

As pps said. Some of it is under add, but lits of what you written isn't.

Now even IF all of it was due to add, it affects you negatively (i think it would anyone from what you written) and you have absolutely a right to get help with that from the management.

The H is adhd stands for hyperactivity so ADD, to me, would imply she has the inattentive type.

Talking over you and nterrupting, being loud like add/adhd. The rest of her behaviours don't and I would raise them with HR

You can be sensitive about it, but id definitely raise it.

She says and does things without seeming to know (or care?) how they might affect me. Is this ADD behaviour?

I will have a chat with our manager. I am a bit nervous though because our manager seems to like Sally more probably because she's taking credit for my work-

Have factual points
Like -
She takes credit for work I did such as x and y (with better examples).
I am concerned because she copied my LinkedIn word to word and is copying my posting. This is concerning for me as it shows some level of obsessive behaviour and for her as she might then need extra support.
I understand the jumping in when people talk or speaking lodudly, that's not a problem.
Problem is telling my stenographers not to type something like she did at x and y situation. It affects my work as I don't know what is said and it excludes me.

And so on. Make sure you give proper examples of the situations and emphasise that it's not only 1 event, but it's repeated series of events.

Obviously word it better than I did

Employers have to make reasonable adjustments. I dont think expecting other employees to have constant unwarranted criticism and being bombarded with phone calls is reasonable. This is behaviour that's directly affecting you (whereas things like being loud and talking over you and not apologising when you say she has spoken over you are maybe more personality based and can be understood and overlooked a bit easier). And it should also be a two way thing, you shouldn't be having to make all the adjustments to accommodate her disabilities without her making any to accommodate her.
I'd speak to your manager but keep it to unreasonable behaviour that you can prove such as taking credit for your work and bombarding you with emails and criticism when you havent asked for feedback or done anything wrong. Keep it factual and back it up with lots of specific examples. Also keep records of anything you have done to try and sort it out so you can say 'I advised Mary that i require an hours notice of a phone call and that due to the complicated arrangements it would be better to restrict these to two a day unless it is very urgent. Despite this she has continued to call me am average of 8x a day and not providing any notice'. I'd also have a think about any practical steps you can take to stop some of these behaviours. Eg. Consider booking in a morning or an afternoon call with her every day and if she tries to contact you in between these times just say 'we can discuss it in our 3pm meeting', until she gets the picture. Block her on linked in (not sure if thats possible?) and then change your text slightly so its different to hers. Make sure you are more vocal about taking credit for your work before she does eg copy the people in that she has been passing your work off as hers to. Tell her you will ask her if you want feedback on your work or that you disagree with her assessment of your work and if she wants to raise any issues with your work to discuss it with your manager. Keep records of absolutely everything so you can be accurate and specific when you speak to your managers. Eg saying 'she wont leave me alone' is much less specific than 'she contacts me on average 5x a day, despite me asking her on this date and that date to keep it to twice a day'. It may help, both in managing the problem, and showing your management you have been proactive in trying to address the issue before coming to them. Make sure you focus on how this is affecting your work e.g. the constant interruptions is reducing your output, or the criticism is affecting your confidence in your decision making so you are now double checking everything which takes longer.