To think DD should start attending nursery part time the month before I go back to work?

[creaminfudge]

Is my thinking correct on this?

Flexible working isn’t possible this time round so she’ll be in FT. Obviously her world has been quite small due to pandemic.

AIBU to think it would be sensible to have her in a couple of days a week in the run up to starting full time? Or is this a waste of money?

Absolutely great idea. Speak to the nursery and they will suggest a settling in period. It definitely helps

Yes definitely! Stagger her start before you go back. Half days could be good too

Thanks - I know they offer settling in but just wondered about extending that?

Yes..do it. It will be easier for you too to have a transition period and iron out any problems before you're working full time... and will give you some free time to do stuff/relax before you go back to work.

That would be nice, might actually be able to get stuff done!

Great idea it’s the only advice I give new parents, start nursery early as they usually pick everything up in the first 4 weeks. Last thing you want to do is take time off with their illness in the first few weeks back.

Oh good point!

And those few days you have by yourself feel really strange but are absolutely bliss!

She will have settling in sessions, have got gotten those booked in?

Yes it's a great idea! Not only for your DC but for you. You'll have some time to yourself before you go back and it takes away some of the stress / worry about actually going back as the nursery element is already part of your routine.

It’s a really good idea to ease her in gently and gives you both time to adjust

Going against the grain... no I wouldn't. You'll do settling in sessions the week before as part of the nursery experience and that's plenty. Why be apart from your baby when you don't need to be? My DD didn't pick up anything from nursery, so your baby might not necessarily be ill either. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

Yes! I ask my mum friends to consider this as the children don't half pick up lurgies those first few weeks at nursery! Never anything serious but it's always good to get it out the way whilst you have the time & energy.
It's also handy to ease yourself back into the routine of getting up, dressed and out at a certain time, without the stress of actually being late.
My biggest surprise was how busy & time consuming drop off at nursery is, especially now extra checks in place with covid etc

I sent DS to nursery PT in Sept although I didn't go back to work until Jan. It worked really well for us - as PP have said, he missed quite a few days when he caught all manner of bugs (and when his Covid bubble burst...) and the fact that I didn't have to juggle that with work was invaluable. It also meant that he didn't have to do very long days as I could pick him up whenever and I could just keep him at home if I felt like it or we had something better to do. It made going back to work so much easier because I knew he was settled and happy and I didn't have to worry about it at all. The first day of work, he ran in to play with his friends without looking back which was perfect!

Plus you can nap during the day and it's amazing.

Yes DD started a couple of weeks before I went back to work, gave me some time just to get used to not having her by my side 24/7 and I wasn't worrying about her then whilst going back to work at the same time. You also get chance to catch up on sleep, get housework done, have the TV to yourself ha

Yes, definitely. I wish I'd had mine have a few more sessions - it would have got me more used to being away from him without the stress of the commute and being back at work trying to think. I found the first couple of weeks really tough mentally, despite being happy to be back at work. I imagine you've had a fairly quiet year being on mat leave during Covid too, so going back to getting out the house for a certain time might come as a bit of a shock! (I honestly don't know how I got us all out for 7.30am every morning.)

They do pick up loads of bugs early on too, though no guarantee they won't also get them when you are back at work as well.

I did this and got 3 glorious days (one a week) with no kids. All this “why would you want to be away from your baby/child” bollocks. You can love them immensely but it doesn’t negate your need for a break, or sort the house out or do some DIY you’ve been putting off - whatever fits.

Plus I could say if she was struggling with a whole day I could pick her up early until she got used to it.

With my DD I was due to return to work in the January but started using KIT days (one day per week) in the October before so she had a chance to get used to it. In the January she went up to 3 full days (8.45-5.15) and never batted an eyelid. Definitely do a few extra days in advance if you can afford to.

Thanks. JustGot, I do know what you mean, she is with me all the time at the moment (sometimes even in the loo!) but I know I’m literally not going to have a minute to myself once I do start back at work so it would be nice to be able to shop for back to work clothes, go to the hairdresser, read, sleep ... Just two days a week for a month!

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

Going against the grain... no I wouldn't. You'll do settling in sessions the week before as part of the nursery experience and that's plenty. Why be apart from your baby when you don't need to be? My DD didn't pick up anything from nursery, so your baby might not necessarily be ill either. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

Why be apart from your baby when you don't need to be? Well, because sometimes it's nice not to have them around for a couple of hours so you can get stuff done and actually finish a cup of tea!

@AnnieLobeseder I guess I was lucky, my baby slept a lot so I never felt I missed out on time to myself. She never stopped me having a cup of tea. I guess everyone's experience is different. I wanted every last minute with my baby before I went back to work. If OP or anyone wants time to themself, do it. Just didn't want OP to feel it was something she had to do.

Good luck with it all OP. Going back to work and finding a new routine can be tough

Absolutely recommend it. DD got so upset at going to the childminder that the Thursday before I returned to work she told me she wouldn't take DD anymore because she wouldn't settle. I had one day to find a nursery - it was an absolute nightmare.
Luckily DH had half term off and could take her for that week and e nursery we visited was fantastic - she did a couple of settling in sessions that week and the next week I worked half days and picked her up at lunch and then off she went. So on the one hand had I not booked her in a couple of weeks early with the CM it would have been a huge disaster when I was actually back and on the other hand, she settled pretty well once I had found the right setting for her (nursery with experienced staff so much better than CM who had just started up and had three children all around 12 months)

What a nightmare zaffa!

Sounds ideal if you can afford it