Parenting multiple children with ASD, your experiences?

[Plzholdmyhandforamin]

Mother of 2, one of my children is diagnosed with ASD and is incredibly challenging (however I love him so very much - can't stress that enough)

Youngest (2) has some traits but not enough to concern anybody at this stage, she's very different to DS. Very easy child and very advanced in most areas.

I'm pregnant now after a contraceptive failure and unsure how to proceed. I have an appointment to discuss my options next week but I'm just trying to explore all avenues in the time being.

There's an increased chance that this baby may have autism too (same father, who has autism) and if I do proceed with the pregnancy I'll be going it alone.

How hard is it, realistically, to parent multiple children with ASD as a lone parent?

@Plzholdmyhandforamin

It seems bonkers to bring another child into this when I'm struggling so much with DS ready. I'm gutted.

Really, it does seem quite bonkers.

DH had a vasectomy and once they found out we had a child with ASD they got him in right away.

@rawalpindithelabrador

Sorry but having just 1 with it is so bad now he's a teen I wouldn't have another one if there was any possiblity, tbh. I'd have a termination and ask to be sterilised.

I'm booked in for a termination consultation next week, this post is just me looking to explore all areas. Blind hope maybe.

I'm sorry you struggle too x

I've got a young son with autism, we couldn't introduce a baby in as I'm worried he would hurt the baby as he wouldn't understand.

Autism is such a huge bracket so I suppose it depends on how your children's autism presents and whether that could be compatible

I think with the fact you are struggling so much right now, its sensible to consider whether to go through with this. Its a lot of work, and 3 kids is hard at the best of times.

Op you asked what my dc are like.......very similar to yours as it goes. One was very screamy and had the huge meltdowns. DS was a lot more placid, he could be aggressive at times but his outbursts would be over as quick as they started. I also had a very good social worker who I made it very clear to that I wouldn't be able to care for both into adulthood. At that time the DC were 12 and 14 and neither could go out alone. It was becoming harder and unfair to them both. The ball started rolling with a view to dd moving into residential care when she was 14 and she moved on aged 17.

DS has always been at home. He goes to a specialist, Autism school. He could board but we get on fine so he stays at home. He's the most easy going child in the class which again I put down to living with dd.

Like you I also fell pregnant when ds was around 2. I chose not to continue the pregnancy and don't feel any real guilt for that. At the time we were undergoing tests to see if DS had a serious condition, also money and space were a factor. We have a 3 bedroomed house and adding another would have been unfair on the DC already here who are my priority.

DP is a brilliant dad, I can't fault him there. He always pulled his weight around the home and with DC and has always given me breaks. Sometimes for a week at a time when he'd take the dc away. But the emotional side of Autism and figuring out what's triggering them has fallen down to me. For no reason other than the fact I'm better at it.

In your situation id do what's best for you and your existing children. And I'd so it without guilt. Whether you choose to continue the pregnancy or not.