To not want to move far from parents

[Landladymews2]

DH said last night that he wants to move to a bigger house in the next two years. I would like some more space too (we currently live in a small 2.5 bedroom terrace) but I don’t think there’s any rush. We have two young kids (under 2 years old) and we live ten minutes away from my parents. I’m about to finish Mat leave and although I will probably work from home a fair bit having my parents nearby gives me a sense of security that if there was ever an emergency they can step in and help out. My DH work used to involve a fair bit of National and international travel (pre covid) so in those times where he wasn’t around if I needed help they would be there. There aren’t any ‘big’ affordable houses in our current area so we would have to move at least 40 mins away from my parents, probably in the direction of my in laws (who are unlikely to help out). I feel like having family nearby is more important than having a bigger house at this stage but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

Surely if there were an emergency, help forty mins away won’t be an issue. Unless it was a real emergency, in which case you would be ringing 999 not your parents.

I think it would be sensible to move in the next two years so you are in a house that is a better size for you plus you are ready for school enrolment.

Sorry emergency is not the right word, I mean stepping in when kids are sick, when we have to stay late at work, trains are running late and we can get back in time for pickups, help during holidays - basically irregular childcare help. How important is it as a parent to have backups around.

Great dh maybe we can get a nanny as my dps won't be close to help out when you work away..
Moving closer to his dps but away from yours - could this be a subtle hint your dps are a third wheel?

I think I would prioritize the bigger house, if your going to be doing it at some point anyway surely better to do it sooner so you aren't having to move schools etc.how many emergencies are you really likely to have?

OP,
Having a husband who is absent a lot means what works for YOU trumps his opinion.

You will be working and at times carrying the whole parenting role.

It's a huge responsibility as any single parent will tell you.

In your situation I would not be moving ANYWHERE that made this load harder.

His parents have zero interest in helping so they don't come into the equation.

Your parents do.

Don't be bullied.

For a couple of years my husband travelled a lot with his job.

With 4 under the age of 8, it was hard and relentless.

Having a support nearby is priceless.

So my advice to you is agree to NOTHING.

Do not say maybe or perhaps as some men will throw that back at you.

Be firm and say No, my parents are a great support to me and I need that support.