AIBU to quit the personal trainer even though I’m making progress?

[SkeletonSkins]

I’ve been working on losing weight for around three months now and I’ve lost 2 stone. I’m sure this is mostly through diet - I’ve reduced my carb amounts, and pick healthier, wholemeal ones, eat lots of protein, lots of veg, avoid loads of sugar, calorie count etc. I aim for 10k steps a day. It’s working - I have PCOS and I’ve managed to get back to a previous weight I was aiming for and I’m a few lbs off a healthy BMI. I want to keep going to get securely into that bracket but I’m feeling happier in my clothes etc.

The past month I joined up with an online PT. She is really nice, she focuses on resistance/body weight/weight exercises, I video my workouts and send them over and she gives me advice on form etc. I work out three times a week for about 50 mins and I’m seeing good progress. The thing is, I absolutely HATE it. I dread it the night before, I hate doing it. It’s not something I can continue with long term because I really don’t enjoy it. I walk every day, and when lockdown lifts, I can go back to swimming three times a week and doing a hobby that gives me some activity once a week. I’ve paid £100 for March, and told myself I should just keep going this month but god I want to pack it in, even though I’ll just lose the money. I’m just worried it’s going to impact my weight loss, especially as I know weight training is good for PCOS. Plus I don’t want to gain weight again as I’m not able to get back to swimming until April at the earliest.

So what would you do? Keep doing something you hate because you know it’s good for you? Or is life too short?

Thank you all for your feedback! I really appreciate it.
It’s important to say that my options aren’t have the PT or do no exercise at all - if I quit the PT I’m planning to do some other online workout, some of the ones recommended here sound good. I walk up to 6 miles a day so I also thought about getting so leg weights or wrist weights to bump that up a gear?

I think the point about my goals is important. I’m not hugely bothered about being super toned. I plan to lose around another stone or so and then I’ll be firmly back into a size 10, which I’d be over the moon about. My food changes are permanent because they’re for my health and PCOS, not just weight loss.

I guess counting down the sessions until the end of March sounds sensible - but the thought of doing one more makes me want to cry at the minute. I do have music on but it doesn’t really help to be honest. I guess I wonder, at what point do you say, I’ve tried this type exercise and it’s making me miserable, it’s not for me?

I think 50 mins is a long session that I would find tedious. Can you do more frequent, shorter sessions? There are lots of great You Tube videos with resistance bands and body weight - I never do more than a 30 min session and will usually do a 15 - 20 min session. That way I find I am happy to do it again tomorrow. I do a 5 min abs session 4-5 times a week - it is only 5 mins so I can always make myself do it and over time those 5 mins add up.

I think you will only keep it up if you enjoy it, so you need to make changes - you are paying for this service so it needs to work for you.

Life is too short for dull exercise. There's so much more fun ways to exercise. Riding a bike is great. You mention just dance. There's so much on YouTube. Dance routines that include squats etc so they're more fun to do!

@HeadNorth thank you, yeah I think that’s a big part of it actually. More frequent shorter sessions might work better for me.

In my head, the £100 is gone whether I do those workouts or not, so part of me thinks is it worth being miserable (which might sound over dramatic, and it is, possibly partly because of lcokdown and feeling like my life at the minute is work, studying for a qualification, and then doing a workout I hate!!), or should I just cut my losses and try out other things.

Another thought - but I see @HeadNorth beat me to it. Get her to run through shorter sessions as there's more of a chance that you might continue to do 2 x 30 mins per week when finished than your current routine, and that should be enough to maintain strength.

No leg or wrist weights for walking, won't do any good and may cause injury.

See she was already a bit put out when I said three sessions was my limit - she was very nice about it but I could see she wanted me to do more. So I’d feel a bit silly asking to now cut those sessions shorter. I agree the length is a big part that puts me off.

Keep doing it! Do the work! You have made fantastic progress and you must be able to feel the benefits in every day life. I worked with a PT for a few months and suddenly realised I was skipping upstairs two at a time, breaking into jogs when out on walks. My strength and energy were transformed. The strength especially made life so much easier - improved balance and mobility.

It doesn't matter if you don't enjoy it. It does you so much good, you've already paid and when real life opens up again you will find more fun ways to keep fit but you'll already be fit enough to enjoy them.

Definitely shorter more frequent sessions, the point is to actually keep doing something - I’d find 3 x 50 mins too dull

I also recommend Les Mills on demand- you get a range of classes, bodypump, combat, step, shbam, core. It's the only thing that keeps me interested in exercise!

YANBU. I loathe all kinds of gym type exercise. I used to kill myself doing it in my twenties but I never got any "buzz" off it that other people apparently do? Even when it was finished. Dull and just really unenjoyable - torturous infact!

The only thing I enjoy, and therefore can keep up long term, is walking in the great outdoors or swimming.

I walk about 10km through hilly/rocky terrain in the forrest behind my house 4-6 days per week and pre-covid used to swim twice a week. It's more than enough. My legs and bum are toned and the rest of me is slim (ish!) which is the look I like as I'm only 5 2" and don't want/need any bulk.

If you're not too pushed about being toned and hate it as much as you say then I'd pack it in.

Well done on your weight loss!

I have to say she doesn't sound like the world's best PT. She should be listening to you and trying to give you a sustainable routine. 3 times a week of intensive weights is more than enough for anyone.

I bet because of your impressive weight loss she wants to use you as a before and after model.

You need to get a bit more insistent with her, tell her that a shorter routine will work better for you and you'll be more likely to keep it up.

I say stick out what you have paid for but ask her to make it more varied and shorter sessions. I think there's a risk you've hit the fuck it point after doing so well and feeling like you have quit might make you sabotage yourself. After PT finished I would highly rec you try Les Mills Body Pump.

Thanks for all the input guys, I really appreciate it. I’ve done a couple of the body project YouTube workouts this morning and I genuinely ENJOYED it. I also burnt near enoug the same calories but my Fitbit tells me I spent less time in ‘peak’ and I’m wondering if part of it was just a bit too much for me for 50 mins. I know I need to push myself but I also need to feel positive about it, and I did this morning and still burnt 500+ cals. I’m going to think it over over the weekend.

Well done on the weight loss OP! I would get through March with the PT and then switch it up. Doing something you don't enjoy but that it good for you for short periods of time can help build up your resilience if nothing else! It's also going to make you stronger and fitter, ready to pursue other activities when gyms/pools open 😊.

Everyone will say just do what you enjoy but honestly, I think everyone should do a bit of weight training and will regret not doing so later in life. Things like squats are functional exercises that help you move properly in everyday life and prevent muscle imbalances that lead to injury doing other exercise. If you don't include resistance training in your workouts then you are at far greater risk of having brittle bones and mobility issues as you age.

Tell her you hate it. There's loads of ways to work out. I worked with a PT once and just told him up front that I hated running and bikes. So we did some weights work and he ended up sucking me into his passion for boxing. I was never much good but I did enjoy it and it was good exercise. Plus I got to take a swing at the man responsible for my sore muscles so it was a win, win situation.

Just an update. I had a day off on Friday and did a couple of the body project workouts on YouTube - still some resistance stuff, squats, small weights etc but not as intense and tbh much more fun.

I then had a zoom call with the PT and explained it was just a bit much for me doing 50 mins 3x a week. We agreed to try 20-30 mins 5x a week instead. Did the first one today and I still hate it 😂 so I don’t know. I’m going to try a couple more this week and try a couple more of the YouTube videos and then decide what to do.

I'm really glad you spoke to her @SkeletonSkins - well done you.
How strange that you don't enjoy her short workouts, but like the you tube ones. What do you think is the difference?

Do you listen to audiobooks? I found that if I save some good audiobooks for exercise only, I look forward to it and don’t concentrate on the exercise itself. If I had to guess your normal exercise that you like has a lot of action and diversion that keeps your mind occupied while you are doing it. This might help.

I found music is a no go for me as well as tv, because it’s passive and I soon tune out and all it does is annoy me, but audiobooks is more of an active activity so I focus on it.

Honestly this is why I suck at Pilates, I need to follow along so I’m not able to zone in on a book. I’ve not tried it strength or weight training, but it is super compatible with rowing (which I do every day)