Removing shoes indoors

[diagold4u]

Am interested to know how many people actually have the rule of no shoes indoors.
We've had this rule from when I was young and have carried it on when I moved out. I think it makes sense not to walk all over the house with shoes that have been worn outdoors, who knows what you've stood on and then bringing all that in to your home.
I have shoe covers that I provide to workers.
Especially with young children I think it's even more important not to wear outdoor shoes indoor, carpets/rug will harbour all that dirt no matter how much you Hoover up.

My actual aibu is, if someone came to my house as a guest would it be U for me to ask them to remove their shoes? Obviously in a polite manner.
I feel quite embarrassed having to ask when these people already know.
My current house is all flooring with large rugs everywhere, the main living room is carpet.
I've noticed certain extended family members get annoyed at my request but the way I see it, it's my house, if I don't walk with shoes, why should you when you've chosen to come to my house.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown

Ah get a life drsbaito, it is perfectly reasonable to point out that shoes-off can't be quite as commonplace as some posters believe or it would be reflected in television programmes. I mention keeping up appearances as a joke was made in it of the main characters obsession with removing shoes. I can't think of other shows where it happens. Do you sit shouting "take your shoes off!!" at unrealistic portrayal on the tv? Well no, as many many people do not have this as a rule. These days, my family do all remove their shoes but I wouldn't ask it of a guest.

Oh my God, you were serious. I wasn't actually being facetious. I genuinely thought you were being ridiculous on purpose and trying to set off the classism. The whole "ooh, only on the one about the truly posh people" just cinched it in my mind.

Awkward. Sorry, I guess?

Right, OK. Er, where do we start? The fact that TV programmes are not reality? That they serve a dramatic purpose and are staged that way? Taking off shoes every time would slow the dialogue down. Characters being shoeless would be distracting for viewers and would spoil the look of their outfits. They don't break off sentences and talk over each other as they would in reality either, unless that's a desired dramatic effect (same for removing shoes). They don't say "bye" at the end of phone calls, at least in American shows. They wear makeup in bed. They have lifestyles that their jobs wouldn't really sustain.

They're not generally supposed to be a true reflection of real life. They are dramatisations staged for particular effect.

I have seen groups with photos of carpeted rooms, living room or bedrooms, everybody in socks, and toddlers being potty trained, or having their nappy changed 😂

so spare me the "it is ONLY a hygienic issue"

I don't take my shoes off to go to the loo at work, I respect your rules absolutely, but I don't like walking in your home without my shoes on.

I happen to CLEAN my floors, unlike most people with carpets! So I am pretty confident my house is much cleaner anyway, even if I don't cook or lick the floor or need to have any air about shoes inside.

I happen to CLEAN my floors, unlike most people with carpets!

Where have you got the idea that people with carpets don't clean/hoover them?

I would however ask them whether I could possibly keep my socks on as a compromise

And I’d say no because I don’t want your shoes cluttering up my tiny hall and making it untidy. In this house the place for shoes is on your feet.

I grew up in a climate with winters much harsher than the UK experiences. Shoes off indoors makes absolute sense when the shoes are snow boots.

Never wear shoes indoors, keep a pair of shoes at the back door and store all shoes at the front door. Never had to ask people, they either take their shows off when they see all the shows at the door or hesitate, so that I can offer shoes covers.

Most of our circle will bring 'indoor shoes' to change into for parties and things.

Floors downstairs are all wood, with a patch of dark mat between the front door and the sit down and change shows area.

Seems to work.

We don't wear shoes indoors but I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes! If they do it spontaneously, fine. If they don't, then I don't ask them, as I assume that would embarrass them.

I do, however, ask traders and workmen to take shoes off - especially if they are going upstairs, which is carpeted.

@DrSbaitso

I happen to CLEAN my floors, unlike most people with carpets!

Where have you got the idea that people with carpets don't clean/hoover them?

hoover is not cleaning

its merely removing the dust

My point exactly

Your house. Your rules. That's totally fine. Don't hesitate to ask. Nice to have spare thick socks to offer for anyone who might be cold but it's your choice.

Downstairs I’m not bothered, I have a dog and the floor gets covered in mud constantly at the moment. MIL always takes off her shoes and I always say please don’t your socks will be filthy. Stair and upstairs carpets are newish so we do take off shoes before going up.

@VinylDetective

I would however ask them whether I could possibly keep my socks on as a compromise

And I’d say no because I don’t want your shoes cluttering up my tiny hall and making it untidy. In this house the place for shoes is on your feet.

Wow, stern!

I like compromise. If someone insisted on wearing shoes in my house the compromise would be disposable blue shoe coverings.

Thing is you don’t have to compromise in your own house. What you say goes.

Shoes on here. I often offer in posh houses but hope they’ll say “don’t worry it’s fine”. I don’t wear nice shoes to take them off when I arrive. Who’s eating off the floor, lying on their carpet that it has to be disinfectantly clean. The mind boggles. I want guests to be comfortable. A house is for living in.

Really??? That’s bizarre. Lots of visitors then.

We live on a farm so shoes stay downstairs, no carpet only rugs so it's not too much of an issue if a bit of mud is walked through. We have a covered porch where we put very mucky shoes and guests usually follow suit or at least take them off by the door. I've never had to ask guests to take their shoes off because they do anyway. Cream carpets upstairs though so no shoes on the ground up there.

I always have slippers on but my dp always has shoes on, does my headin. I dont ask guests to remove shoes but if i go to my parents first thing i do is take shoes off.

I grew up with shoes on, same as everyone else we knew. Nobody died of infectious carpets - we were all pretty disgustingly healthy.

My generally fastidious DM never said it in quite as many words, but I was aware that she considered it a very over-houseproud thing, confined to the sort of person whose floors were more important than guests’ comfort.

Unless they’re obviously wet or muddy we’re still a shoes-on house and I still connect shoes-off with an OTT obsession with hygiene.

@DrSbaitso (Yes, I asked how these people handle bedsheets and toilet seats when they stay overnight somewhere, but I didn't get an answer.)

I’m quite happy to answer!

Bedsheets - clean bedsheets that are just for me I have no problem with, in the same way that I would also be happy to walk alone and barefoot on your freshly hoovered and mopped floor. However, if your dog has recently been rolling around in the bedsheets, or you chose to have a nap in them just before me, then I would have an issue with it, in much the same way that I don’t want to visit your bathroom in my stockinged feet.

Toilet seat - surprisingly there are fewer communicable diseases of the bum-cheek than of the foot. Plus I would “hover”.

I don't get why family would have a problem, they should know by now.
My best friend at school, her mum asked people to take there shoes off. I did ask asked the first time, then I didn't need reminding, I just did, when i went to her house.
I worked in care and one of the houses, we visited, wanted the careers to remove there shoes at the door, I didn't mind as its what they wanted.
It might seems odd to some, but people shouldn't be offended. Just polity ask them to remove there shoes, my best friends mum did and know minded. I did say to my mum that it was odd, but she pointed out, if that's what they do, it wasn't odd.

I prefer people to take their shoes off but I don’t ask them to. I just want people to feel comfortable here. If they don’t take them off then we just stay in the kitchen where the hard floors are!
People usually take their shoes off without me saying anything though.
We have light grey carpets in the lounge and playroom (I know that wasn’t a brilliant choice but they look nice!) We clean the carpets quite often with one of those Vax cleaners, even though it’s a strict no shoe rule on them, it’s crazy how dirty they get. Cleaning hard floors is loads easier and quicker and hard floors don’t stain so I don’t mind people walking on them in shoes.
I feel more relaxed when I take my shoes off, and so I always offer to take my shoes off in someone else’s house. In fact it’s a relief to take my massive feet out of the shoes I’ve usually crammed them into .

Is it a phobia? If so, totally understandable.

No it’s not. But it is my house, so it’s still totally understandable.

Are sock-on feet acceptable?

Better, but still a bit ick

I didn’t realise one spends time with their visitors sat looking at their feet. Interesting!

I don’t. I would still much prefer if they kept their shoes on though.

I don't usually wander around the house with shoes on because it's more comfortable without but I don't have any rules regarding shoes on in the house. If very muddy, I'll tell DC to take their shoes off.

I don't think I've been asked to take my shoes off in someone else's home since I was a young child and had friends tell me that these were the rules in their house. However, I wouldn't mind if someone asked me to. Your house, your rules.

I get the kids to take their shoes off when they come in, but I'm not bothered about guests doing it. They might feel cold. I would probably ask them to if they'd come in from mud outdoors.

And if I go to someone else's I normally follow their lead, so if they take their shoes off, I do as well... I definitely do either way if it's wet or muddy

It all depends. My cousin lives out in the countryside with loads of dogs, cats etc so you would definitely keep your shoes on in her house. You might take off muddy wellies, but definitely not slippers not socks as you would get filthy. A friend and her family never wear shoes in her house so I would follow suit. My mum to be honest her floors are a bit crumby so I keep mine on there. My own house my shoes come off for comfort not hygiene reasons, but then I don't have carpets. I would never ask a friend to take off their shoes round mine or a workman. I don't understand light coloured carpets on a floor. Why do that to yourself if you've got pets, children, clumsy partner or indeed yourself. I'm not even going to bother with carpet upstairs as I've got an elderly cat. Anyway how long do germs stay alive on a floor?

Bedsheets - clean bedsheets that are just for me I have no problem with, in the same way that I would also be happy to walk alone and barefoot on your freshly hoovered and mopped floor. However, if your dog has recently been rolling around in the bedsheets, or you chose to have a nap in them just before me, then I would have an issue with it, in much the same way that I don’t want to visit your bathroom in my stockinged feet.

The slippers are washed between guests so I hope that sets your mind at ease.

Please do not hover over toilet seats. I never understood why or how women's toilets could get in such a state until I discovered this phenomenon....