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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Removing shoes indoors

615 replies

diagold4u · 04/03/2021 15:35

Am interested to know how many people actually have the rule of no shoes indoors.
We've had this rule from when I was young and have carried it on when I moved out. I think it makes sense not to walk all over the house with shoes that have been worn outdoors, who knows what you've stood on and then bringing all that in to your home.
I have shoe covers that I provide to workers.
Especially with young children I think it's even more important not to wear outdoor shoes indoor, carpets/rug will harbour all that dirt no matter how much you Hoover up.

My actual aibu is, if someone came to my house as a guest would it be U for me to ask them to remove their shoes? Obviously in a polite manner.
I feel quite embarrassed having to ask when these people already know.
My current house is all flooring with large rugs everywhere, the main living room is carpet.
I've noticed certain extended family members get annoyed at my request but the way I see it, it's my house, if I don't walk with shoes, why should you when you've chosen to come to my house.

OP posts:
Minty82 · 05/03/2021 17:47

Gosh, I’d never ask someone who was coming to my house to work (whether that’s a plumber, tiler, electrician or my children’s teacher or health visitor) to take their shoes off! If guests are happy to, fine, and we do ourselves, but to impose it on someone who’s trying to do their job would feel so rude!

Mba1974 · 05/03/2021 17:48

I once saw a sign, in a magazine or Instagram post, by a front door that said “we leave our pretentiousness at the door not our shoes” and wished I didn’t hate naff signs so much that I could get it.. So shoes on here, obviously like anyone muddy/wet shoes/wellies off but clean dry shoes on. We have pets so unless we’re going to put “booties” on them for either outside or inside it would be a waste of time... I’m happy to take shoes off during the day in other peoples houses but I’d definitely eyeroll and don’t actually know anyone now where that would be expected.. There is however nothing more ridiculous than a group of adults at a dinner/drinks party standing around in stockinged feet like a bunch of untrustworthy toddlers and I would point blank refuse in that instance... If you don’t want people in your house then go for white/cream carpets but if you do just choose practical flooring..

VinylDetective · 05/03/2021 17:50

How is it disrespectful to take your shoes off in any way shape or form?

If I ask you to keep your shoes on in my house, how is it respectful to ignore me and take them off?

nipperbat · 05/03/2021 17:50

Depends on the circumstances and time of year ie how much mud there is. I really hate being asked to take off my shoes though when there are bare floorboards or tiles and it’s totally freezing. I’m desperate to leave tbh!

theheartofthematter · 05/03/2021 17:50

We have a shoe rack by the front door where we keep all our shoes so it usually prompts people to ask. I honestly don't care if people do or don't, I do because I hate shoes on my feet!

Hamouchi · 05/03/2021 17:51

@MrsTerryPratchett

DH is from a shoes off culture and I was raised in a shoes off house. I don't insist, but most people offer. I also have to go into homes myself as part of my job and always carry shoe covers.

Don't people know any Canadians, Japanese people and North Africans? A lot of the world is shoes off!

I'm from north Africa, and it in our culture to take shoes off.cause you don't know on what you walked on and with germs. I have a baby he is all the time on the floor crowling and playing I mop often, but when there is a guest if they ask me if I want them to take shoes off, I say yes please if I doesn't bother you, but they do come in without entering I don't say anything and u mop as soon as they left. But upstairs there is a carpet I would politely ask.
Pinkfreesias · 05/03/2021 17:52

I never wear shoes indoors and would prefer visitors not yo wear them either. I don't understand why anyone would be upset about being asked to take their shoes off.

SnowyBranches · 05/03/2021 17:54

@Pinkfreesias

I never wear shoes indoors and would prefer visitors not yo wear them either. I don't understand why anyone would be upset about being asked to take their shoes off.
Even after reading this thread? Lots of people have given reasons.
onlyconnect · 05/03/2021 17:56

I think people who ask for shoes off should provide slippers in winter or flip flops in the summer. They could have a couple of sizes by the door and clean the flip flops regularly. It is of course absolutely fine for someone to have a shoes off rule in their own house but not fine to expect people to walk in bare feet or just socks, especially if it's a house with dogs or cats.

Lampzade · 05/03/2021 17:58

@CaffeineInfusion

My house is shoes off.

The last time someone walked in my house and left their shoes on, I asked why, since our kids were both crawling babies, and I removed my shoes at their home. The response was, "because my house is nicer than yours".

I've since chosen better friends. 😁

OMG -,how rude
Peppermintpatty24 · 05/03/2021 18:03

No one has ever asked me not to.

sabbii · 05/03/2021 18:05

In most of Asia it is considered filthy and disrespectful to wear outdoor shoes indoors. So maybe for over 2 billion people it is normal (just a wild guess). But it is not about comparing its about what people want to do do in their own home. Ultimately your house your rules

therealteamdebbie · 05/03/2021 18:09

RMNMummy

Urm... How is it disrespectful to take your shoes off in any way shape or form?

Ignoring your host preferences or customs is just rude.

Do you also ignore any social rules when you travel because you think you are superior to every one else, or just in this country?

StoneofDestiny · 05/03/2021 18:11

I'm curious as to whether shoes off people have pets. Do they have to wear slippers?One reason I don't allow dogs in my house is their dirty paws and they don't wipe their arses. What's the difference?

Don't like shoes in house, and don't have pets myself, so don't let anybody else's pets inside.

If you visit a show house you have to wear overshoes provided - they like to keep their homes clean - so do I.

therealteamdebbie · 05/03/2021 18:13

Don't people know any Canadians, Japanese people and North Africans? A lot of the world is shoes off!

so what?

A lot of the world isn't!

But pretty much everywhere in the world it is respectful to follow the country and your host traditions and preferences. In many countries, it's worst than rude and offensive not to actually.

Only in England would anyone be rude to a specific host bleating that it's the rule somewhere else. It's completely irrelevant.

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 05/03/2021 18:13

@RachandO

I have no problem asking people to remove their shoes. I have to stop myself punching the ones that step inside my flat to take them off 😤
You seriously want them to stand in the communal hall in their socks/bare feet? Or do some sort of contortion to remove a shoe and land the foot in your hall?
cyclingmad · 05/03/2021 18:13

Shoes can stay in if coming into the house and anywhere upstairs as its wooden flooring. No shoes in living room as I've got new carpet and I want to keep it in good condition for many years.

StoneofDestiny · 05/03/2021 18:14

My house is fully carpeted in light colours - guests taking their shoes off is much cheaper than me paying for carpet cleaning.

Newkitchen123 · 05/03/2021 18:14

The people who have guest slippers, how many pairs do you have? How often are they washed?
People come to my house for my work, an average of around 3 or 4 a day 5 days a week, sometimes more (pre covid) that's before any family /friends.
That's a lot of slippers /washing
My downstairs is all hard floors. None of my friends are shoes off houses unless they've got little ones

Spidey66 · 05/03/2021 18:14

Not this again.Confused

I take mine off if my shoes are muddy. Otherwise sometimes I do, sometimes not, it's only a rule if your shoes are muddy.

I don't know anyone personally where it's insisted. I'm a community nurse and occasionally I'm asked to remove them going into patients homes. That's it.

I think it can be a pain in the arse taking them on and off e.g. coming in from work, putting rubbish out, hanging washing out, taking dog out etc. Too much like hard work.

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 05/03/2021 18:15

I struggle to think of a single television programme that involves people walking into a house and removing shoes.
(Hyacinth Bucket possibly! Certainly not The Crown 😂)

RobParker · 05/03/2021 18:16

I use this rule to keep my house clean. Also it will be good for a discipline inside your family! Sometimes streets aren't clean!

StoneofDestiny · 05/03/2021 18:16

Gosh, I’d never ask someone who was coming to my house to work (whether that’s a plumber, tiler, electrician

Actually - recently had a washing machine repair man, furniture delivery firm and an electrician all put in overshoes they brought with them.

ElderMillennial · 05/03/2021 18:17

I agree but it is sometimes impractical so we have hard floors downstairs and carpets upstairs with no shoes allowed upstairs.

Sookiestackhouse5 · 05/03/2021 18:18

I actually feel uncomfortable wearing my shoes in someone’s house as I was raised not to wear them indoors. I will always ask, “ would you like me to take my shoes off?”