Overreacting?

[confused123woman]

Hi,

Tonight I have come across in my DH Twitter search history only fans/Sex pages which I of course confronted to be told it was just curiosity as it had been retweeted to his page which led to an extensive search out of "shock" of what can be put on there. However after looking through his timeline no such thing has been on there so he's searched off his own back one would assume.

It feels like I've been punched in the gut as for the last few days I've been struggling majorly with my mental health and been in tears to him about how self conscious I feel and how inadequate I feel to the girls on social media to which he has told me time and time again has no respect for or interest in.

For me, porn is a line in our marriage which he has told me he was happy with as we have spoke at length for years about it and I was always told it wasn't an issue he could live without it. I believed him as due to young DC over 18 websites cannot be accessed from our phones/laptop etc however Twitter seems to be A loophole.

I have been in tears and feel physically sick since I found this. I'm struggling to believe what he said about it just being curiosity and I feel like he isn't telling me the full truth.

Just now I can't look at him the same and I'm not sure how to ever trust again what he says or trust him with my feelings/insecurities.

How do I Move on from this?

@Bluntness100

My view is, if my dp thinks i'm not enough and has to seek sordid gratification elsewhere, either just visually or wanking off at some other woman, then elsewhere he can go

How does that work then? Is he not permitted to masturbate or is he under strict instructions if he does he can only visualise you? How do you police his wanking habits? Or do you just take his word for it...

I assume it works a bit like this.

How does that work then? Is he not permitted to masturbate or is he under strict instructions if he does he can only visualise you?

What I mean is if he's actively seeking out and looking at naked images of other women and wanking over them, then off he can go.

What he sees in his own head is entirely different to actually seeking out an actual real life image of another woman to wank over.

@BadLad

You need to calm down. That’s not porn and you’ve got a filter on your router to prove it!

I’m not saying that if porn is a line in your marriage that that’s wrong, it’s everyone’s choice to make as a couple, but this isn’t porn! And unless your husband is Jamie Dornan, he won’t be comparing you to anyone,....he will just be glad there’s a naked lady in his bed (i.e. you) and nothing else when you have sex.

You are overreacting. Go and have a sensible and calm discussion with your husband and think about getting some help for your clearly very damaged self esteem.

What he sees in his own head is entirely different to actually seeking out an actual real life image of another woman to wank over

Um, ok, still curious, why is it entirely different,,what difference does it make if he uses a porn image of another woman he has stored mentally/fantasies about another woman he actually knows, v just looking at an image of a random?

Why is it ok the former, but not the latter? I’d have thought the former worse? Stopping him looking at porn doesn’t mean he’s not going to have sexual fantasies about other women.,you just drive it closer to home. And likely find him jacking off to random women on Facebook,

And badlads, yes,,😂

I'm so sorry op iv been through all this it knocks your confidence so bad

For fuck sake ! Know what I can't stand half the women on here ! If somone has an issue with their partners looking at porn so be it ! All this your over reacting shit really gets to me ! She's not over reacting at all not everyone likes their husbands bashing one out to another naked female ! Have some self respect

Have some self respect
What does self respect have to do with your point other than trying to put down others who have a different opinion on this to you? It’s a lazy retort.

OP if you have very clearly had this discussion and iterated this is a line for you then he has crossed it an only you can decide where to go from here. You can try and regain trust but how? You can’t police his internet usage and only you know if you can trust him not to look at it again. Will you be tearing yourself up about it, wanting to look at his phone all the time? Or can you genuinely say, strike one if this happens again it’s game over? Or is this something you deem enough to walk away from the relationship from.

@meganiris1922

For fuck sake ! Know what I can't stand half the women on here ! If somone has an issue with their partners looking at porn so be it ! All this your over reacting shit really gets to me ! She's not over reacting at all not everyone likes their husbands bashing one out to another naked female ! Have some self respect

Um,,,two things, Firstly you don’t know anyone on here, it’s anonymous. You don’t even know if it’s men or women posting, so stating you can’t stand the women is very odd, saying you dislike some of the opinions fair enough, but past that, it’s concerning you think you know people welll enough to comment on whether you like them or not. You don’t.

Secondly no man needs an actual picture to “ bash one out to another naked female”. That’s an image they can conjour in their heads.

So if you are female. And if you have a male partner, I can assur you when he is “bashing one out” it’s highly likely it was to the thought of a naked woman who wasn’t you,

Don’t kid yourself otherwise.

And if you have a male partner, I can assur you when he is “bashing one out” it’s highly likely it was to the thought of a naked woman who wasn’t you

Wow, way to bash a woman’s confidence when she’s obviously already struggling with this.

Perhaps your dh does this but you certainly cannot say that about everyone’s dh.

You told him porn was online for you. He didnt really have much of an choice to do anything but agree.

Yes I think you are massively overreacting