To be desperate for help feeding 7 month old

[FlashBathroom]

Please help, I'm really struggling

DD had never been a great feeder. BF didn't work out despite input from multiple IBCLCs etc so we now bottle feed in the day (I pump 4 times and we feed a mix of formula and breast milk) and only direct bf at night (she's pretty inefficient and I think it's mostly comfort sucking but it helps her go back to sleep). She did have a tongue tie which was snipped at 3 weeks (private docs have confirmed she still has a little bit of a tie but that it doesn't restrict her tongue too much). She's also on a low dose of omeprazole for silent reflux. She's on mam size 2 teats.

Her bottle feeding hasn't been great for ages and only seems to get worse. The only time she'll drink more than 30 - 60ml at once is when she's half asleep. Lately she won't even feed then, but had to be so tired that she's crying before she'll eat. We're trying to sort out her naps but it's impossible when she's clearly hungry and tired but won't eat so she obviously won't nap for long, and the only way to get her to either sleep or eat seems to be to put her in her cot, wait for her to get distressed then pick her up and feed her to sleep. It seems so messed up and I feel like a thoroughly shit mum

We have started weaning but we're doing baby led and while she loves chewing she's not really swallowing much so it doesn't really impact on milk feeding yet.

Please help

Is she still under the paediatrian at the hospital? If yes ask for a SALT and/or dietitian referral. If she isn't you should be able to get referred through the HV or GP. You will have to push but its better to do it sooner rather than later because it doesn't always get better easily. My DS was very poor at weaning, we are still having issues with food and he can hardly drink out of a proper cup at nearly 4. I knew we have a problem earlier but didnt jump up and down enough. Now SALT are finally involved they are brilliant.

This sounds so hard!

We sleep trained at 6m using the ferber method as feeding to sleep was clearly not working well or sustainable. Best thing ever ever done. You could join the Respectful Sleep Training/Learning group on fb for advice and support on helping baby to learn to sleep independently so you’re not stuck having to feed her to sleep every time she wakes.

Re weaning, if BLW doesn’t feel like it’s going well why not try traditional weaning? This is a fantastic resource!

static1.squarespace.com/static/59f75004f09ca48694070f3b/t/5a5a41479140b7e31a75ccbc/1515864404727/Eating_well_the_first_year_Sep_17_small.pdf

As for help with the milk feeds I’d ask in a specialised group for infant feeding rather than here tbh. The best one I know on Facebook is Fed Is Best Infant Feeding and Support Group. Lots of kind and evidence based advice and support from fellow parents who’ve had issues with feeding (and ran by a qualified nurse and lactation specialist).

You’re not shit, you’re doing your very best ❤️

Oh you're not a shit mum. My DD1 was textbook - eat, awake, sleep etc. DD2 (nearly 7 months) is different despite me trying to do everything that 'worked for DD1. Both formula fed, both in own room etc, they are just different babies.

DD2 is currently doing similar with feeding and it is a blooming nightmare. Things that have helped:

• giving some calpol & rubbing anbesol liquid on her gums - shes definitely teething & sucking seems to irritate her.
• distraction whilst feeding. Her current favourite is to wave around a bit of crumpled up paper whilst feeding.
• moving up a teat size. I accidentally used a size 3 teat this week & it was much easier with less fighting etc- i think she's been getting annoyed having to drink slowly now shes bigger.

Hope things improve soon. It can be so tough!

I’m probably going to sound like a health visitor, but how is her weight? Has she dropped percentiles? Is she particularly small? And is she meeting other milestones?

If she’s not dropping percentiles and is healthy then you don’t need to worry too much about her, it’s just finding a way to live which fits the family.

Have you tried spoon feeding? I am a big fan of baby led weaning but if a bit of spoon feeding (say at breakfast) helps then that might be worth a try. I would start with porridge at breakfast.

As she gets older this will all become much easier too.

Also unless you feel very strongly you could move to just formula which might start to give you a bit more time and also would reduce the comfort sucking issue (but if you don’t mind it is probably easier than getting up to make a bottle).

I think overall I would focus on increasing solids and maybe drinking from a sippy cup (milk and water) than try to do more bottle feeding at that age.

It sounds like she has developed a feeding aversion.

Have a google of Rowena Bennett, her book and program for this saved us ❤️

There’s also a support group on fb if you search for “bottle aversion support” x

@sproutsnbacon

Is she still under the paediatrian at the hospital? If yes ask for a SALT and/or dietitian referral. If she isn't you should be able to get referred through the HV or GP. You will have to push but its better to do it sooner rather than later because it doesn't always get better easily. My DS was very poor at weaning, we are still having issues with food and he can hardly drink out of a proper cup at nearly 4. I knew we have a problem earlier but didnt jump up and down enough. Now SALT are finally involved they are brilliant.

Thanks Sprouts.

She's never been under a paediatrician - we did ask for a referral a while back but nothing came through and when I chased it up and spoke to a different GP he said it was almost certainly just reflux and prescribed the omeprazole. I'm not convinced though. Can I ask what you baby was like with milk feeding and what she has been diagnosed with? I've been really really hoping that solids will go better than milk but it's impossible to tell just yet. As I understand it lots of babies take a while to get going with BLW so it's difficult to say if she's "abnormal" yet. She does "drink" from an open glass but not much actually goes in .

Sorry - meant to say your son

Cmpa is screaming out to me here.
If i were you I'd have a look and chat to your GP.

I feel like a thoroughly shit mum

You've been pumping for 7 months? You're a fucking hero! Other than that, you've had some good advice already here. Really hope things get easier for you all.

Have you tried changing the year for a 3 or a fast flow? Maybe she just finds it hard getting the milk on the size 2.

Also consider feeding position for bottles, we used the paced feeding method where the little one is in more of a sat up position rather than the bottle being over them.

I also pumped with my two, well done for getting this far, you're not a shit mum at all xx

Ok with feeding but he was bf and I seem to have cast iron nipples and once my milk came in, let down to the point it pretty much flows out.
CMPA, soya and egg allergy. DS also has speech delay he's 3.5 years. He hasn't seen a paediatrian despite my repeated asking, frequent trips to the GP etc
DD however has different feeding issues, mostly resolved and she sees the paediatrician a few times a year and they are really helpful. I always think when I'm there its the other one you need to be seeing. DD also has CMPA, soya and egg allergy but she doesn't have difficulty physically eating as DS did and still does with many foods.

Anyone who pumps long term gets my upmost respect. You're doing a great job.

Will she take a spoon? I love BLW but it took a whole before DS was eating a decent quantity (he was, and is massive so no weight concerns). You could spoon feed more high cal foods to help with the hunger and give finger foods so she's still feeding herself.

@FlashBathroom I second what @FlashesOfRage said, it does sound to me like a bottle aversion. Join the FB group and buy the book if you can. It changed our life, my daughter had a bottle aversion but Instead of treating that the Dr's recommended she have a feeding tube! We had that for 3 months which 1) obviously didn't help with the bottle aversion because why should she drink from the bottle now when she was getting full on tube feeds?

2. was the worst time of our lives!

Anyway, she's still small (but cute) and that book is the only reason why she doesn't still have a feeding tube now :)

Oh. And it's crazy because there were loads of things that we were doing that contributed to her bottle aversion, and she also had reflux and CMPA.

The book is really worth it x

Hi, you have had lots of great advice already but I just wanted to share my experience.
My DD could never latch to breastfeed and we struggled with feeding until she was about 8 months. She had tongue tie which we got cut at 10 weeks and again at 6 months as she still had so many problems. I see you have said she still has a slight tie, do explore if that could be impacting her ability to latch even to a bottle. It was a huge problem for us.
My DD also had CMPA which didn’t get diagnosed until 8 months when I insisted on a dietician referral. She took one look at her skin and said she could tell there was an issue with dairy. If your DD has any eczema etc it could be this. My DD also had reflux.
Once the tongue tie and CMPA were sorted we had a different child. Additionally with weaning we did mixed baby led and purée. You don’t need to limit yourself to one or the other. She loved food and as soon as we could increase food we dropped bottles. At 8 months she only had 3 per day and by a year it was just morning and night.
I know how tough it is now but keep persevering. You are doing well! And push your GP if you want a dietician referral

Try changing to a larger teat size. My son was an awful feeder. Wouldn’t latch to breast feed and bottle feeding was slow and ineffective. Midwife suggested changing to the largest test size and it worked. He is now a strapping ten year old and eats like a horse!

Can you spoon feed as well? BLW sounds good but only if they actually take in enough to fill them up- especially important if they’re not taking enough milk.

I sympathise. BF went terribly wrong for us, then DS wouldn’t wean after being on oral antibiotics! I thought I was going out of my mind.

In the end what saved us - yes, really - was Ella’s Kitchen pouches. Peaches, pears and baby rice. I swear by them. Got my DS eating and put him on to solids. I’d tried EVERYTHING else.

Please don’t worry it’ll put your baby off vegetables etc- it doesn’t at all, and keep offering finger foods too. My DS loves vegetables and savoury food and demands broccoli at every meal! Do try the pouches, they’re smooth and go down easily- will really help, I promise.

Also yes go on to fast flow bottle teats.

My now 2yo had a really rough start with feeding and lots of issues so we had a dietician referral, I only spoke to her yesterday for help with a current feeding issue.. she’s been invaluable!

Definitely push for a referral and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s so hard!

I was also wondering if she had a cows milk allergy. It can go through breast milk. My son ended up on nutramigen.

I wonder if she might like spoon feeding as well. Pureed carrots or parsnips, baby rice or porridge, yogurt, pureed fruit?

It must be so hard for you.

I'd suggest seeking help from an IBCLC (the gold standard in feeding support). Their training of course covers bottle feeding and transition to solid food

lcgb.org/

You could maybe have a look at "the feeding trust".
www.feedingtrust.org

Thanks all.i am really all the replies and am very grateful but I am a ridiculously slow typer!

Those suggesting cows milk allergy - she does have a constantly slightly snotty nose but that's her only possible symptom I think. She's also tried cheese and yoghurt but had no major reaction - is it still possible that it could be cmpa?

Re the spoon feeding - I really don't want to as I have been worrying about a feeding aversion and I absolutely don't want to have similar issues with food. I will try more pre loaded spoons though.

I have ordered the feeding aversion book - thank you!