To not be worried about DD out and about?

[FortunesFave]

We are not in UK...so no lockdown at all in this state. Australia.

The title would be better as "Was I being unreasonable" because DD went out this evening (she's 16) with her college mates to a local theatre festival and will get train home around 10.30pm...DH will collect her at local station. It's a half hour journey on a busy train...a journey she makes daily for college.

I was fine about it...happy to see her off with new friends who are all girls of her age and all new on their college course.

Then about an hour ago (it's 9.00pm here) DH said "I'm a bit worried about her out and about..."

And now I am!

Was it ok to let her go?

She's 17 in June...can't stop them really can you? Not at this age. Well, you CAN stop them but wouldn't be sensible!

I'd say you were perfectly fine to let her go, she will almost certainly have a great time, and she is of an age where she needs to start to have some independence. Also completely normal to worry though.

Op most parents I know of teens are getting really worried about them in lockdown - their mental health, anxiety, lack of motivation. So I think there's your answer. If you stop them having a bit of freedom you're storing up another type of risk. Enjoy seeing your daughter spreading her wings and having fun.

A train home at 10:30pm for an almost 17 year old sounds completely normal.

Thank you....I think I felt bad because I wasn't worried! I had a lot of freedom as a teen so I think it doesn't occur to me to stop her going to things. I think DH worries because he was a shockingly behaved teenager...MUCH worse than me and I was bad...

No you were fine to let her go. Once lockdown is over I’ll be encouraging my 16 year old dd to get out and about on public transport more herself. It’s hard where we live as public transport isn’t great and she doesn’t really need to use it. But I am aware she’ll be off to uni in a city in a couple of years and needs to be savvy.

Your dd will be fine, so don’t stress.

@Imapotato

No you were fine to let her go. Once lockdown is over I’ll be encouraging my 16 year old dd to get out and about on public transport more herself. It’s hard where we live as public transport isn’t great and she doesn’t really need to use it. But I am aware she’ll be off to uni in a city in a couple of years and needs to be savvy.

Your dd will be fine, so don’t stress.

A few of her mates are only just starting to get more confident on public transport but DD's had to do it regularly from about 13 because I can't drive.

DH is always in work and she's wanted to go to places...luckily the trains and buses here are pretty good.

Your DD will love it once she's used to it.

I think they are not mutually exclusive - you are right that she should be out and about and gaining independence and it sounds like a perfectly reasonable plan for a 16 year old.

But that doesnt mean you should not worry about her being out and about - just keep it in check so it doesnt stop her doing things.

It sounds fine - and a nice night out. But also you’re a parent, you can’t help but worry even though you logically know she’ll be OK!

Is she travelling alone on the train? I think I would worry a little bit about that but that’s probably my experience of growing up living at the end of a train line where at that time of night there were hardly any people on the train so if I was ever alone with one stranger I did get a bit nervous. But if you know that the train will be busy at that time of night I’m sure she’ll be fine.

She's 16. She's with her mates. It's not that late. She knows the area/route. You know how she is getting back and what time to expect her. DH is even picking her up from the station.

Doesn't really like something to be worried about. I hope she has a lovely time