Mother's Day

[AtLastEarwax]

So hubby works in logistics with high volume items. He was just telling me how his co workers are waiting for their own parcels to come through that they have ordered for Mother's Day. I said "has mine come through then??" Laughing and he said "when is Mother's Day anyway? Don't Tesco put the stuff out like a month before?"

Now I don't want to sound like I deserve anything. I would look after my children regardless. He works - I've chosen not to (3yr old & 16m twins) and a couple of times it's been why hasn't the kitchen been cleaned, dishwasher put on etc. However he does cook every other night and will put the washing in the dryer, perhaps the dishwasher once a week.

Maybe I am being unreasonable?? He works nights 2-7am, sleeps after taking DS to Pre school till 2pm.

I don't know if I just feel a bit crap at the moment and lockdown just doesn't help does it??

I can't see the point of Mothers' day until the child is old enough to acknowledge it themselves.

I'm sure your son will make a card/random craft item at pre-school - isn't that enough?

If you're feeling unappreciated in general, that's a whole other conversation. Don't conflate it with Mothers' Day.

"Nor is boasting about your completely over the top Mothers’ Day gifts."

what is the difference between wanting to be made a fuss of on MD, and being pleased about being made a fuss of on MD, beyond one person actually achieving their aim? I think over a week and a half before the actual day is jumping the gun a bit to start getting disappointed/jealous myself, but hey.

"If you're feeling unappreciated in general, that's a whole other conversation. Don't conflate it with Mothers' Day."

exactly, there's no handbag in the world that's any kind of substitute for a bloke who pulls his weight year round, and if that's not happening, then you need to have an adult conversation saying things straight out.

@AtLastEarwax

Yeah true. He can be a bit tit for tat. That day that the kitchen wasn't tidy was because I had thrush. Now I have to explain thrush that hadn't be diagnosed for TWO months I was in agony I couldn't walk or wee so I didn't give a shit about the kitchen 😂😂😂

He lets me sleep in an hour or so which he doesn't have to.

I said to him this morning he's like a teenager
Takes ds to Pre school
Goes to the toilet
Comes downstairs to make a bacon sandwich
Goes upstairs to eat it and play on his phone as he can't eat it asleep can he lol

He response was "yeah alright then" and shook his head

What bugs me is the fact he has to tell me or reel off to me what he's done, so if he's emptied the dishwasher he has to tell me. I asked him why? What does he want a pat on the back?

My DH does the list thing! He has been home during lockdown - working 1 or 2 days, he tells me exactly what he has done during the day, tells me all about the shopping he has been to collect, what he has tidied, dusted etc, I have just gone back to work after 8 years off and he was the sole earner, no benefits etc so it was all on him money wise but he agreed to it, he wanted me at home until our youngest ds was at school, but wtf!?! He told me the other day after I got home that he hadn't stopped to sit down all day, I said yes, I know that feeling! His reply was well "no you don't but anyway I'm sitting down now" - my blood was boiling.

It makes me feel that if I haven't got the same kind of things that I'm not as good but I suppose that is nothing new is it

Well that seems a very odd way of thinking to me, but I suppose it must make sense to you.

Much as I don't think you should have to spell it out to your DH, you need to tell him that Mother's Day is important to you and set out what you'd like to happen.

Daffodils and a nice card sounds lovely and why not ask him to get one of the nice family meal deals from M&S or whatever and he can cook it all and look after the DC while you relax for a couple of hours?

You could always use Mother's Day being before Father's Day to your advantage and make reciprocate with the same level of effort as he made for you.

Don't know why you're folding his socks for him though? I assume that you're doing all the laundry, but just put all his clean clothes in a basket for him to put away himself?

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It hasn't been Mother's Day yet, can you not just spell it out and tell him it's important and you'd like some effort made?

@MrsComte

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Eh? It was created 2.5 hours ago. I now we're all losing track of time due to the lockdown but still ...

maybe mrscomte means we have this thread every year. which we do. they generally start on the actual day though.

@MrsComte what!?

@MrsComte

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It's not but I understand the feeling, they do appear every year.

I think its a bit early to get disappointed. Wait until the actual day. Drop hints. Then get disappointed.

Haha I would say have you put her on the game, her hubby can be a bit irrational though so would have to get him on a humour day.

My son is rough and tumble and was rolling around with her and my cousin kicked up a huge fuss saying he'd be kicked out any school rolling around on the floor and that's when I said "shut up and bore off, she needs to get a life duck" that was to her face and she just walked off - that's how that came about.

I'm not jealous as such but I think it's maybe just the brashness and the way they brag. I got a beautiful pair of Lou's for Christmas and I didn't send a picture to anyone. If anyone said did you get anything nice off Santa I said I was really lucky and told them. Maybe it's me being a personal person? I don't need to tell or show people things. When I was pregnant I didn't want to tell anyone I was quite happy in my own world but with my son by 21 weeks it was obvious and with the twins by 14 weeks it was obvious.

Anyway, I'm sure Pre school will, they usually do something and as someone said maybe a rabbit will come out the hat on the 14th 😂😂😂 made me realise though on here that not everyone is into that picture present sharing stuff OR I've gone completely gaga

I'm going to leave dh, see what he does. In the meantime I will bake cakes with the kids and crafts. I appreciate the kids more than material things anyway of course

@MadameButterface

maybe mrscomte means we have this thread every year. which we do. they generally start on the actual day though.

There seems to be a competition in the run up to Christmas, Valentines and Mother's Day to be the first with the 'AIBU to be upset my DH didn't make an effort' posts, so perhaps the OP is just staking her claim first.

I don't want to stake any claim??

And for just the folding socks thing, I do the washing so that's part of it. I don't put his clothes away though but I do the kids and my own of course

I think just say to him .Do you need to go shopping? on Friday /Saturday beforehand.Tell him what nice pink tulips you like or some chocs! If he looks surprised then say you need to do the same for him come June!