To ask is it still a mental health disorder if someone says they harm themselves for attention

[Worriedmother666]

Or out of being bored

Yes it is. I know a teen who does it. In reality they're tiny scratches that barely break the skin but she does it when her anxiety & other things are getting on top of her. They usually happen before an angry outburst over something trivial which again, is an outlet for the anxiety & confusion.

@justchecking1

I promise you, if it is genuinely only self harm, done in a relatively safe and non risky way, in the absence of suicidal ideation or any other symptoms, then she won't meet threshold for secondary care mental health services. Not even close.

The GP may have a primary care counselling service that would see her if she was willing to engage.

I fully accept this of course because the threshold for getting support is not 'do you have a mental health illness' it is much higher.

Yes. Mentally well people dont feel the need to do that.
It's a silly misconception that "real" self-harmers do it because they hate themselves and want to hurt/punish themselves. People do it for all sorts of reasons, all legitimate signs of mental health issues.

My 34 year old ds has been self harming for the last 18 years, he has bpd and is very unwell mentally. When he harms himself he is not in a "sane" frame of mind. He will use anything to hand to cut himself and most of his body is covered in deep scars. He needed surgery a number of times to repair the damage he had done to nerves/ligaments etc and sometimes the cuts were to large to stitch together so could only be dressed. My ds also has psychotic episodes where he hears voices, thinks people are trying to kill him, as things that aren't there.

I don't think it's attention seeking, it's someone who is desperately ill screaming for help in the only way they can.

Often being in control of something and doing it 'for attention' is a blazing, light up sign screaming 'HELP'.

This. Sorry if the next bit goes too far (TW)

I was told I was attention seeking for cutting as a teen. Did I need attention? Yes, I needed someone to actually ask if I was ok, to let me talk about what was going on at home, about my past. (I also now understand it was a way of dealing with difficulties caused by autism and ADHD - sensory regulation and dopamine seeking.)

In the end I felt pushed further and further to the extent that I was in ICU from an overdose. I didn’t actually want to die, but I nearly did. And even then it took another minor OD and deeper cuts before I was hospitalised.

Once in the hospital I found out the ward manager thought self harmers were “manipulative, attention seeking and a waste of [hospital] space”. The way I was treated even on the ward has stayed with me, in a bad way. I have a deep fear of being seen as manipulative and needy when I’m struggling.

So the idea that it’s just for attention is widely held. But I really think that must be incredibly rare, and even if the aim is to get attention then there is a reason that need is so bad they are willing to hurt themselves, like BPD/EUPD suggested by others. Even in “outbreaks” in schools where teens are exploring it, I don’t think attention in the negative sense is what it’s about.

Attention = care, love, HELP.

I really hope your sister can get some help 💐

(To clarify that was an adolescent ward in a psychiatric hospital, not the regular hospital/A&E where I’d been a few times by then)

Self harming is a form of control in itself. You harm yourself to elicit a response - pain, when you’re numb from depression and just need to feel something. To see blood when you don’t believe you’re real. To get attention because surely someone has to notice how much agony you’re in, surely someone can help make it stop. Or death, when you can’t take it anymore.

Self harm is always about attention, whether it’s your own attention or needing the attention of someone else. It’s always a mental health issue and your sister needs help and support and love.